Here I was thinking it was done and all I had left to do was learn whatever details I feel I needed to know about the A and what do I find today when snooping...he has signed up for an adult personals webcam site this past weekend.

I feel like I take one step forward and he takes 10. I'll never catch up at this rate! I hate this!

What should I do? Should I tell him I know? Just compile it for later use? Why isn't he stopping this?? He's jumping from one thing to another.

I feel like I'm starting to freak out again. I hate this.

Straight on approach ....

"I discovered you signed up for an adult webcam site. Can you tell me a little bit about this?".........

and then shut your mouth and withhold your opinions for now.

Gather as much information about him and his state of mind as you can.

"How does this webcam stuff fit into your life?"
"What payoff do you think this webcam stuff might bring for you?"

Just ask him about it ... you need a clear look at him.

Pep <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

He's going to get very angry again at the fact that I'm spying on him.

I can hear the conversation now.

Me: I found out you signed up for an adult personals website. Can you tell me about this?

Him: Oh? So you are still spying on me?! When are you going to see I just don't love you and that I have never loved you! What ever happened to the respect for each other you talked about this weekend? This doesn't show respect when you spy on me!

Me: About the website...

Him: No, I'm done talking. I'm getting a divorce. It's over. I am through.


Here's the interesting thing, he even brought up the fact that I know about this email address days ago. It's like he wants me to see it and confront him. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

"Of course I have to spy on you. Unfortunately, I am put in this position because you are keeping secrets from me. Finding this latest tidbit just confirms that my snooping was warranted. I want very much to trust you, but as we can see with these latest discoveries, I should not trust you because you are not trustworthy. I do not like being put in this position and wonder what things you can do to rebuild the trust you have destroyed?"

Don't let him manipulate you into thinking you have done something wrong. He does not have the right to the privacy to destroy you behind your back. You spy on him because he is untrustworthy and until he does something to rebuild this trust, it will remain the same.

Remember, people who have nothing to hide, don't hide. Trust has to be EARNED; respect has to be EARNED.

Keep snooping and keep CONFRONTING!