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Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 26
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Member
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 26 |
I previously posted about Plan A and the Policy of Radical Honesty, if any are interested.
However, I just asked her if she'd be willing to agree to No Contact with her lover, and she said no, even if that means ending our marriage.
I'm panicked, hurting, and totally at a loss for what to do. Please help!
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 4,140
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 4,140 |
I would say that your only mistake was in *asking* her to go NC with her boyfriend. Of course she said no. What else would she say? She knows she's hurting you, but all WS know that. They don't care. Why? Because they are WS, not S.
So: What you should have done was *informed* her, not asked her. Just tell her that her affair with this OM is extremely hurtful to you and damaging to the marriage, and that the hurt and damage will only get worse if she does not cut off all contact with the OM. Then walk away, or hang up, and let her stew in this information.
Granted, this rarely works instantly, but like exposure it throws another monkey wrench into the works.
Sadly, you can't expect anything out of a WS except rejection, arrogance and entitlement. Stay tuned. It happens to everyone.
More folks will be along soon with better advice.
Mulan
Me, BW
WH cheated in corporate workplace for many years. He moved out and filed in summer 2008.
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