Good for you! That attitude, IMVHO, is spot on! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

That may not be "first date material" but something I am going to want to know, myself, very early on!

And thx for not taking it personally as it certainly was not meant to be... I was just sharing the thoughts that arose when you posted...

I have no doubt that you will find someone who will see past your former mistakes and see who you are today... That is all any of us can ask for, right?

For those FWH and repeat offenders in MC...

My WH and I are trying to start over and he is in IC, as TNT_RN commented, I am seeing that he has a pattern of cheating not just sexual but emotional.

He has recognized this and I am about to start MC with him. BUT, I am scared to death... scared to feel this kind of pain ever again and him not realizing an action is "cheating".

You FWH and pattern cheaters, do you know recognize your trigger points or what causes you to cheat with IC and MC?

I would love to hear answers to this... you may want to start a new post and call out Art. He is a recovering sex addict and has been very open and honest with his recovery hurdles.

My STBXH claimed he could control it, and I think for a while he really believed that, but it always got the better of him. I believe he is doomed to repeat these patterns forever until he wants to get well and he seeks out the reason he does these things. No inkling that is happening anytime soon and I can't do it anymore...

Unvarnished ACCURATE information is the only way to go through life...I rarely get offended anymore unless I am subjected to direct personal attacks.

I have also learned to re-state what I HEARD (to the sender) emphasizing that I MAY have misunderstood their message. It gives the sender an opportunity to clarify or amplify what they REALLY meant.

If it comes across as an attack AGAIN...Game On!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />

WRT to my prior character issues...those are the FACTS that I MUST to deal with...no amount of whining or wishing will change my poor past conduct. I have accepted there may be some relationships that will end because of this. All I can do is be HONEST.

I won't be be offering up that info immediately. However, as conversations with dates do; I am sure she will, at some early interval, want to know what the story was with my two failed marriages.

There will be no equivocating or soft-pedaling from me...the blame for my infidelity will land SQUARELY on me.

My REAL focus during the "revelation" will be to show how I have LEARNED and GROWN from my horrid mistakes of the past and that I am a MUCH better man for it.

Thanks TNT!

WNB