It became obvious to me that there was no love left in WH's heart this past weekend. After he moved back home 3 weeks ago I told him I would not intitiate SF until I was sure of his intentions but wanted him to know that I still loved him.
Two weeks pass and then this past weekend he intiates. I tell him... "don't do this unless it means something to you". It was great as it always has been. Next day he is cold as ice.
Unbearable to be around, hurtful and mean. I started talking to him about how hurtful he was being, and how insignificant he made me feel. His response...."IS this going to be a long speech?"

Right then and there I turned the corner. After 17 years this man treats me like crap and I have allowed it. No more. I have tried and tried and now I am pulling myself from this wreckage. Got my own checking/savings acct. Talked to my boss about increasing my hours. (Husband says it is my problem if I don't make enough to live on). Started working out budgets to fairly come up with child support. He now says he will start paying for everything the DD's need directly and not give me a dime. I mentioned that state law using income only to calculate CS and does not look at your budget. I told him I could take him to court if he was going to play games. Then he threatens me and says "GO ahead and just see what happens to you" As if he has some pull in the courts. He plans on staying in the house because according to him "Someone has to maintain the stability for the DD's and stay in the home" I told him it wasn't a home any longer and they would be fine moving. He wants them 50% now, but has probably been home to make them dinner on average of 10 times a year since they were born.
He can have the house and the dog....along with all the upkeep.
He is so out of touch with reality. Thinks he will get away without paying child support. I am not sure how he intends to buy me out on the house or the business.

Also heard recently that the OW is not attractive at all.
He must really hate me if he is chasing a fantasy woman who has NO interest in him AND is NOT attractive.

I'm sorry you have to go through this. I'd get in touch with a lawyer asap. Don't move without your daughters. In some states, the amount of time spent with the children does affect the child support calculation, so be aware. Why'd he move back if he wasn't going to try to make it work? Did you try counseling?

WHY did he move back???? Because he's been to an attorney and it could be viewed as desertion?????

Have you been to an attorney??? You better get there quick..I've been to 3 different ones now and have finally settled on one..Since WH and I own a business together I dont' plan on going away easily...

Are you in a no fault state??? Community property/Equitable distribution state??/

He's attitude is deplorable - how rude "Is this going to be a long speech????"
How long was he gone???? Maybe he came back too soon.... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
Apparently so,...

[color:"blue"] Homer,

Please be careful and consult with a lawyer before you move anywhere. I was told specifically not to move with the children from the family home! In some states/counties the judges consider the best stability to be in the family home and they will require that the children be returned to the family home unless your stbx has no problem with you moving out with the girls. From what you said in your post it sounds like he would protest.

If he has enough money for a lawyer he could make you look really bad if you tried to leave the house. You don't want to start a custody battle off on the wrong foot. You have so far seemed to be very busily getting your ducks in a row financially. Now do the same routine for yourself legally.

Most lawyers will consult with you for free. This is your opportunity essentially to interview them for the job. It is also an opportunity to get some free advice if you handle them properly. I interviewed 6 lawyers before settling on the one that I used. During those interviews I asked questions that were similar to get different opinions or a feeling of sameness of opinions. I also used answers that I got in one interview to come up with better questions for the next interview. I had a pretty good idea of what my first moves needed to be from that.

Divorce is not an emotional issue - it is a legal issue and a monetary settlement in the eyes of the court. If you want the best "deal" you have to think of it dispassionately and act like it is a professional work negotiation.

V. [/color]