Edited.

No one would like to give and advice?

Hi susan...It is very slow around here on the weekends! But i wanted to chime in on your post! Have you asked your H if he would be willing to sell HIS house and buy a house with YOU that would accomodate both your jobs? Instead of having a house so far away from you, you guys could buy a house that is in between the two job sites...

Your H sounds very controlling! Has he been this controlling always? You said money is not an issue! Would you consider not working? You said that you wanted to start a family and that you thought that the M/C before was from the stress of driving...maybe stop working for the time being and start planning a family!

I think that your marriage can be saved, but your H needs to meet you half way...I do agree with him in the sense that having a seperate apt for you during the week is a problem...When two people marry, they should not be seperated if can be avoided...I would suggest talking to him and finding out if he would be willing to sell the house, or you quit working altogether...

Implement a Plan A if you want to save your marriage!

he may be repeating the pattern of his parents in some way. . . if your description is accurate, i would say to run now, dont' have children with him, and that he has some FOO issues that you won't be able to figure out for quite a while, and he has to acknowledge them to work on them, so i would just move on . ..

he is proving not to be able to pull through for the long haul, and with the stress of children, he will be even more bizarre. . .

yes, its possible, but will the marriage be rewarding?

wiftty

Thanks for your advice.

I talked with him about buying a new house because his old house is inconvenient for any other place except downtown. But he is not interested in buying a new house because he will far away from his mom and sisters.

I promised him stopping working immediately if I preganant. You know I feel lonely at home myself. I work in IT area, too long time stay at home will make me difficult to find a job later.

I realize it is my fault to looking for an apartment, so I said sorry to him and beg him give us a chance to work out. But he has cold heart ...

so, you will be competing with hismom and sisters for the rest of your marriage? does this sound like good marriage material to you?


is that a bargain that you really want to make? are you sure that you want kids with this man, who i suspect, will demand that they are brought up the same way as he was brought up?

you need to think real hard about this one, because pregnancy will be a long term, life long commitment to his family. . . and do you really want to make that kind of commitment?

wiftty

hi Susan,
I would really give serious thought to wether this is the way you would like to live the rest of your life. Once you have a baby with this man you will be tied to him in one way for the rest of your life. He is already showing that he is a dominating cold man. Can you imagine spending the rest of your life as a second class person which is basically how he is treating you. My advise RUN RUN RUN he is not worthy of you.

Actually, I must admit that he was nice to me during our one year marriage. This is the only reason that I want to work it out. After I moved out, he did not stay at his home, he stayed at his mom and sister house until now (almost 2 months). I feel the divorce is his family's decision.