"Fifteen years ago I had an affair with a woman (get this word ... WOMAN ~LOL~) 23 years my junior. Alex was 17 when we first had sex. (This is RAPE ... he was 40 years old!) I never led her on. I told her on many occasions that I would not leave my wife and family. Alex accepted this for several years. (Years .... YEARS of this with a child)

Because I could offer no more than the status quo, I wasn't surprised when Alex announced she was ending our affair and moving to Los Angeles. (Moving on in life as damaged goods used for sex by an older man ... old enough to be her father !)

I begged her to reconsider, promised to spend more time with her and insisted that I loved her. (Love means dragging a young person into the mud and begging her to stay there so he could get his rocks off ... scum bag !) She went anyway. We had no contact other than Christmas and birthday cards. ( awwww ... he's a Christian who celebrates the holidays by sending holiday cheer to the child he raped.)

My kids are now grown and gone. On a recent business trip to L.A. I gave Alex a call. She was delighted to hear from me and invited me over. (What a STUD muffin he must be ... aren't you impressed?) I wasn't there five minutes when she literally tore my clothes off. (see ... he's soooo irresistable)

Alex just told me she might move back here and take up where we left off. Abby, an affair like ours was fine 15 years ago (fine??? ) but I'm no longer comfortable sneaking around. (LOL too funny for words ... comfortable... HA!)

My wife and I have been married 30 years and I don't want to hurt her (oops! ...too late! ... darn) or give her up. ('give up' his wife ... get this?.... sheesh!) I'm afraid if Alex moves back, we'll get caught. (if NOT getting caught were guaranteed for this guy ... NO problemo ... he's in cake-eater-heaven! ) How do I tell her that it's fine for us to sleep together in L.A. where she lives, but not here in my hometown?(I swear to GOD ... this is his QUESTION ! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

LOCK up your daughters around this turd

Pep .... disgusted <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

Abby's response REALLY sucked.

What did Ms. Abby say?


We need a puke smilie - I know they are out there and this story definitely needs one. Blech

Pep:

How do you really feel? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Gee, I wonder what he'll do when Alex 2rns 40 and is "no longer attractive" 2 him. Find another 17 year old?

-ol' 2long

"Dear in a quandry" (I would have said ... Dear skumbag ... but I digress...)

You are not in a quandry, you are in a mess of your own making that could spell the end of your marriage and your reputation.

Tell Alex in plain English exactly what you have told me. If that doesn't sober her up and cool her ardor, nothing will. (shoot Abby, he's not in a position to make her mad ... she can ruin him with one phone call!)

Under no circumstances must you rekindle this affair. (oops... too late Abby ... this chick may already be knocked up as we speak ... )

(THIS is the really lame part ... IMO) Boys who play with matches usually get burned, and I do mean you. So grow up. Your wife deserves better.

NOT once does Abby mention that this was RAPE of a minor child by a fully grown adult male

Abby ... YOU grow up and call a spade a spade... moronic response was just about as maddening as the question.

Pep

Barf,gag,hurl!

HINY

Yeah.....Abby isn't Abby anymore, right?? She died, and it's her daughter or something now isn't it?

Pep, maybe you should write to *Abby* and point out that the girl was only 17....what a low life this dude is, and his concerns are so dumb I just want to jam an icepick in his eye.

-Caren

Ugh... the disgust is so... can't describe it.

An ex-friend of mine started predating on boys all under 19, and check this out, she is about 49 now! She would brag that the love of her life was a 14 year old, but the kid got spooked and turned away.
Nowadays she keeps trying to lay traps for little kids to talk to her on the net by posing as a teenager and feeding their angst and rebellion against their parents.
She made me so sick and disgusted I stopped talking to her altogether and I hope I never see her again.

I have been trying to figure out if there is a way I could report her to the internet predator watch list, but she now does all her operations through AOL messenger and is referred to kids by other kids, so I don't have much written proof.

This sickens me to no end.

ALW, Did you report your former friend to the FBI - they are constantly looking for predators like her before they harm the innocent. If you didn't, your are complicit with her in the harm. Don't keep her secrets.

Yuckie, yuck, yuck, yucko. (Are these words? They should be.) <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

It's not your job to get the proof; it's the police's job. It is your duty to report her. Would you not report a somone who appeared to be getting raped or do you figure it's your job to interview all parties after the fact to see if it's consensual?

I know, I went to the web site to report these crimes, but they ask for written proof etc.
I haven't talked to this person for over a year now, and she has since changed her e-mail address.

I asked other people to help me get help for this problem, but they all just turned their backs and said they didn't want to be involved etc.

I went to http://www.cybertipline.com/ , but it asks for a LOT of info I really don't have at all, like addresses, etc. Take into account this person lives in another State, and I have no idea of most of this data or what I'd put on the different fields to report.

If it happenned in one determinated chat room, forum, or something like that I could try and come up with something, but when it is mostly carried through phone, email and messenger and when I don't know the e-mails, etc of these teens, I am pretty much just left with a screen name, that she might not even use anymore.

I tried alerting people that knew this person online, but most of them just brushed it away saying that "she'll get over it" and that most of the teens she talks to are over 18, so there was no fault in that and they didn't want to say anything.

I confornted the person about it myself, and she just laughed it off and told me I was insane, that I didn't understand, and I was too judgemental.

Most of the stuff I know is things she would let drop herself, so I have no testimony from any of these teens, don't know their names, who their parents are, or where they live.
The last one she would talk about was 19, so even though he is still a teen he is over 18. That doesn't change the fact that it is really wrong. But I have my hands tied, and I have lost many nights of sleep trying to figure out what to do.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

Pep--You shouldn't hold back this way. Internalizing your anger makes your blood pressure go up! I read nuAbby's column today, too, and marvelled at the sublime jerkitude of this creep. Neak's sister told me just yesterday, looking at the cover of People magazine, how offensive Neak finds Angelina Jolie's shenanigans with Brad Pitt. Wmninshoo, on the other hand, has adopted (at 25 years of age) 3 siblings whose biological mom failed to protect them from an in-home child molester (her new BF) after dad bailed. Sis, although agreeing that the adulterous duo are cheating creeps, was REALLY offended by the Michael Jackson verdict. Now, in this guy, we have found somebody that they can both dislike equally...and they will. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />

Agreed with everybody who thought the answer was lame, too. nuAbby definitely didn't inherit mama's gift. And to the lady with the skanky friend with a taste for young boys, PLEASE report this to somebody. Unless you have seen, as we now have for the last 4 years, the aftermath of sexual abuse played out in the day-to-day lives of children whose adults "looked the other way", you can have no idea what a bad, hideous, awful, degrading, destroying, etc., etc., etc., thing this woman is attempting to do. No jokes this time. We've seen the real deal, and it's a look straight into hell.

t&l

Alostwife--It took me so long to post, you'd already replied by the time I got mine on board. Thank you for the effort, and for caring enough not to turn your head. As you've already discovered, too many people don't want to "get involved." If the victims are not underage, I don't think there's a lot you can do anyway. Maybe the police in the town where she lives? Unfortunately the scarlet A is passe these days. A brand might be nice, but we'd probably get in trouble. Unless you'd like to pretend to have thought it over, had a change of heart and have become interested in it...in which case you might be able to gather details currently unavailable to you. That's a big job, though, and I know I wouldn't be a good enough actress to fake tolerance long enough to get the facts I needed before I clobbered her over the head. Anybody else with some ideas? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

t&l

t,

You have no idea, last time I talked to this person I was so enraged, she was lucky I wasn't near her at all, and I was so sickened.
It doesnt even matter if these teens are 18 or 19, they are still kids on my book, and I feel protective because my little brother is that age.

I was so disappointed in the fact that anybody that had any knowledge, would turn their backs when i asked for their help to get some info, that I just stopped talking to everybody I had met online untill then, uninstalled my AIM, and haven't spoken to anyone since, appart from people on MB and my family members online.

It made me feel so helpless and sad, I cried myself to sleep several nights in a row, thinking I was a failure because I couldn't stop it. I was once victim of child abuse, so it hits home when kids are in danger of any sort.
Today I thought about it for the first time in a couple of months, and my husband had to just listen to all my regrets and felt bad because he couldn't come up with a solution. I get so upset I am giving myself a mammoth stomach ache.

It's possible that she didn't mention anything about a minor child because age of consent is 16 in most places, I think even less in a few. I'm not sure if there is a "gap" issue. Like..16 with 17 is OK, but 16 with 21 is not? I think that would depend on the state.

But the whole thing itself is disgusting and she could've said *something* about the age difference and decision-making process/vulnerability/etc at 17.

Alostwife,

I sense your angst...and frustration. There may not be anything illegal going on...just immoral. Heck, here in Canada the age of consent is 14!

My suggestion, if you know where she lives, is to speak to the local police agency. If it is a large centre, they will likley have child abuse/sex crime detectives that will speak with you. They may do some checks and possibly link her to some reports they may already have. One never knows what the info may lead to. It's possible that there is a school nearby her residence where there have been "rumours" regarding this woman, and they can link her to some victims that may give a statement when confronted with the info. I admit it's a long-shot, but at least you may sleep easier knowing you have done all you can.

I think this is the emoticon you are looking for

LOL looking!