Well Saturday night will be our first overnight with the OC I hope that all goes well she is about 2 months old now. Things so far are going well, although I am a little nervous about Saturday night. I am trying so hard to handle this for everyone. To be the strong one, but I am afraid that Saturday night is going to make me want to keep this little girl. I wish she were mine, I wish the OW would just give her to us. I know she won't and a part of me hates myself for thinking that, I just want OW out of the picture, I hate that H and OW have to see/speak to eachother about OC, it unerves me. I am trying so hard to be strong for everyone. Any suggestions on first time with OC overnight. I mean I have 2 children of my own so taking care of her isn't an issue I just meant emotional issues for myself.

I found it to be difficult the first few times I saw OC. It did not take long for me to see OC as her own person. I am able to seperate OC from OW. She is a prescious little girl and we are very attached to each other. I think it may come naturally to you. Just give yourself time.

Sorry, LA , not tying to threadjack but I have a question for Wife30. You are divorcing after your baby is born, right? Yet you have a realtionship with OC? How does that all work? Your post has peeked my curiousity because the reason I am contemplating D is because I don't want to have to deal w/OW/OC ever again! So I am interested in hearing how you resolved things in your sitch.

Thanks!

I have been able to separate OW and OC as well. She's just a cute little baby (2 months old as well). My frends and family don't really understand how I can do this either. It's like any child though, if you don't have a relationship with them, you don't understand the connection. Like trying to figure out how your going to love your second child as much as the first, as soon as you meet them (sometimes it takes longer), your attached. It's the same here. Though she's not my blood and I don't feel for her in the same way as my own children, she's a child all the same and since she's just a baby I feel we will bond a bit more than a regular step relationship where one comes into child's life midstream.

As far as being strong, don't be too strong. Don't act on every trigger or emotion you have, but your going to have ups and downs and I think it's important to acknowledge these to yourself and discuss things as they come up with H in a calm, rational manner. Otherwise you could be left with more resentments for having to be the strong one. Any emotion you have is "normal" and should be considered. Take care!