Hello, I am new to this group and I hope this is the right area for me to post this. I have been married since 1998 to my wife. We have a 15 year old son togather. You see, we were togather for a short while back in 1989, and she became pregant. 2 weeks before we were to be married, I came home to find her with her ex-boyfriend in my bed. At the time I sent her to California to her parents and told her to contact me when the baby was born and we would make arraingments then as to wether the baby was mine or not. Well before he was born, she decided to marry someone else that she had just met.Shortly after, I lost track of her and the baby. For six years she was in that relationship.
We got back togather in 1997 and married in 1998, (mostly on my part), because of Joey, who as it turned out was undniablely my son. You see, while she was married to the other guy, she became really obeesed. I am talking in the neiborhood of 400lbs. Not only that but she became really lazy. The county has already been to our house once because they thought that our children were not being looked after properly. I mean the house is a mess! And she dosen't even care! I am diabetic and dont feel like cleaning and cooking when I come home after a 14 hour day. I only want to come home and practice my music and songwriting or surf on the web for a little bit. Now Joey is just like her (nearly 400lbs and alredy 6ft tall) just as lazy. He is too big for me to spank any more and reading him the riot act doesnt work either. besides he his not responsible for everything in the house. He's only 15! We have had 2 other children since being married. They are ages 2 and 5 with the 5 year old haveing "special needs" due to lead paint contamination.
Now I am not a light wieght myself. But I do try to keep active and as fit as I can be and have maintained my weight at roughly the same as when we had first met. I work 10 hrs a day at my job as a commissioned salesman, which sometime see me bringing home a paycheck of less than $300 for a 2 week pay pireod. We don't own a car so I take the bus, which is nearly a 2 hr ride from where I live. She can't work. Needless to say things are very tough.
I married her because of Joey and I felt forgivness for her and wanted to give her the kind of husband that she missed out on before. the guy she was married to only used her to stay in the country. My main beef is that she doesnt care about herself. I have tried everything that I could think of to encourage and support her, but nothing works. And then there are times like today were we were at the library. She had an odor. I told her in private so and she got pissed at me. Well I was very embarrassed! i have litterally had bus drivers whom I am buddies with talk about her and her odor and size, not knowing that she was my wife.
I am sick of it and I am very close to filing for a divorce. of course I don't know how to do so yet but I have thought about it. I don't want to do it but if this keeps up, I may have to.
Does any one have any ideas?
Sorry to vent.
Rick King
