Yep, I know, I've come out of lurkdom and bombarded you here in GQII with a bunch of posts. Sorry. Just having a crazy week I guess.
Anyhoo, Here's the stupid question. Is marriage counseling really necessary for everyone? I am skeptical of "professional" help, had a bad experience with a shrink a few years back and I'm not willing to chance another if it's not totally necessary. What will MC accomplish? If FWH and I are having really good and productive conversations now what will MC provide?

Camo, I don't think MC is necessary for everyone. In fact, I think some MC cause more harm than good. In my opinion, a select few can be helpful if you need help.

Welcome to MB! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Thanks. I guess I am just hearing from every direction "you NEED MC or IC" and I'm wondering what good it will do us. Right now it's just not a possibility even if we did agree that we needed to go; FWH's schedule is an absolute nightmare and we're getting ready to transfer overseas all while trying to take care of my parents over a distance of 250 miles...we're nuts, I'M nuts , and I don't need a shrink to tell me that! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> LOL

What topics are typical discussion for marriage counseling? IC? When do you KNOW you need it?

the only stupid question is the unasked one. i have been seeing a counsler for me. i have been dealing with depression that caused the break down in my marriage. wh doesn't realize that it will not happen again i am doing everything to prevent another occurance. wh doesn't understand it but choose to check out of our relationship and now i am having trouble getting him to check back in for fear of my depression. so go figure

How about 1 or 2 sessions with someone from your faith (if applicable)

Marriage counseling can give you different communication tools to use ....

Instead of formal counseling ... a "marriage weekend" is VERY supportive when it comes to learning new communication tools.

just some ideas... because the danger of not doing ~something~ in this vein ... is falling back into old habits because no new tools were picked up !

Pep <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

PS .... google 'marriage weekend" and take a look!

Hmm, a whole weekend, huh? Wish I had that. Getting the "stolen moments" at night while FWH is on 24-hour duty that used to be his times to go see FOW (ironic, no? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />) are about all I have with him right now. The rest of our time is dedicated to appointments and errands related to our upcoming move and the odd jobs around the house that HAVE to be done before we leave the country. The only moments of "counseling" we've got are the rare occasion he can be at a church service with me...oh, and FOW goes to church with us, <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> how's that for a wrench in the works!? Seriously, though, as far as most things go we're doing really well; I am even at a point where I'm nice to the FOW (nice by myself, mind you). I just don't know if MC would be worth the effort to extract a free hour where none exists right now.
We've actually *done* a lot to fix the leaky veins, to steal your cliche. We know what his weaknesses are, what our individual EN's are, what the flaws were in our marriage that led to this and another EA years ago (wasn't identified as such till this A happened),and we're communicating in ways we NEVER have before. The marriage we have now makes the one we had pre-A look pathetic. Maybe once things settle down at our new duty station we can find a worthwhile counselor to do a damage assessment for us.