Well it's the 6th day. did alot of soul searching last night. Thought about the past few and everything that happened in my marriage. I asked myself why do I want him back, we never did anything together, he did hid thing I did mine. He almost never went to my family functions. Sex was once in a great while, we go could a month and I would always have to ask for it and then it seemed like a chore to him. Oh he helped around the house but when it came to the horse stuff he would tell they are your horses and you are healthy and can do it. He never cooked, once in 12 yrs he made dinner. I would have to come home and make something to eat after a long day at a horse show. Never liked to cuddle or be touchy. he had his chair and i had mone and don't cross the line. Would ask to do family things but everything i suggested he didn't like, when asked what he wanted to do said nothing. He always made me feel unloved, he would male comments about how he made more and I made less and should get a part-time job, I would have, but I could never count on him taking my daughter to her horse functions, he said she didn't need to go to everone of them. Which of course he is right, but then he would just sit in front of the t.v. and watch it or listen to music most of the day. He never told me how special I was to him or I was beautiful. NOTHING!! So I ask myself why do I want to live like that, What am I missing by him being gone? His paycheck, His insurance. When is enough, enough? I guess I need to draw the line to my self worth. Let him be with the OW, she can deal with all his issues, maybe she will make him happy. So sweet H of mine, I bid a farewell and wish you the best, Remember I will always love the man you use to be and if by some chance you can find yourself and want to give it another go, give me a call and maybe i will be available, but from this day on, I'm moving forward with my life and pray I will find a love to love me the way I need to loved.