I dont know why I go to Dr. Phils site to read the comments...but I just glanced over there and this one struck me! Why, Why do people sit there and comment on someone whom they do not even KNOW! These people have NO IDEA who I am, where I come from and what my VALUES are! this is a excerpt from a post over there! ARGH!





Yea, Yea, WHATever! If they only KNEW that the first 6 years of our marriage we were almost in poverty living on a RESIDENTS salary and being in the Army...THEN his practice that he signed into went bankrupt and now he is building his own practice puting us into BIG TIME debt...

Yea, being a Drs wife is just all glam and glory! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Nuck Fead! sorry, but these people have NO CLUE what sort of life I live with a stupid a$$ DR...

OK, done with my rant! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

Unfortunately that is the stereotype of a typical Dr's wife...sorry this WAS you on on Dr. Phil, but glad that you have a plan to better yourself and your children.

Sorry Kandi....if they only knew the hell...they'd shut the eff up.

Did anyone on Dr. Phils site post that you were divorcing the freak show and moving on with YOUR life?

Ya know I love ya...when are you moving HOME???????????? I miss you!

- Kimmy

Kimmy, I cant move to SAT...I would have to travel every two weeks for the kids to see their father and I wont do that to them...I will always put my kids first, unlike Ed...

Yes, Larabell, that was me and the alien on Dr. Phil...that show was taped in November, original airdate Nov sometime...My father passed away Nov. 22...Ed has been out of the house since Nov 21...excpet for a few weeks in April...

I doubt I will be watching today's show though...this was the first one and I was not on my feet...

I may watch it , just to see how much I have grown...I am not even that same person anymore! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

>I am not even that same person anymore!

None of us are...we're better, wiser I think.

Just for you: Bath & Bodyworks is having their semi-annual sale....their soaps are only $1....can't beat that with a big stick...I think you deserve at least 20 new bars (sweet pea and cotton blossom are the best)....that'll set you up for the next 6 months when you HAVE TO HAVE CALGON TAKE YOU AWAY!

You mean you AREN'T lounging around all day by the pool, summoning the butler each time your iced tea gets low?

Don't give the dunderheads out there the time of day, MF4M. You have many reasons to be proud of yourself. Keep that in mind.

Oh, and if the maid comes around will you please tell her she didn't quite get all of the dust off the expensive knick-knacks in the guest room in the penthouse? Thanks!

~ Snow

Sorry Moving, but as much I am a fan of yours, I have to disagree with you here. If you go out and go on National TV and talk about a very obviously difficult and complex situation, you cannot reasonably expect people to all "see it" your way. True they don't know you or your morals, so they make a judgement based on what they see. I don't care who it is, WE ALL DO THIS to some extent in our lives.

People only see what the producers want them to see. 99% of the people watching these shows don't know about Marriage Builders and the philosophies discussed here, so you can NOT be suprised that they see you as some kind of "freak" in trying (having tried) to save this marriage. I mean come on ! Your WH cheated on you REPEATEDLY and then got another woman pregnant and then came and went from your house repeatedly destroying your kids each time....and yet you are seen here on National TV willing to "work it out". If I presented this situation to you 2 years ago, you would most likely be in the same POV camp.

Most people (even zeals here) have said they would kick out and divorce a WS the moment they cheated, but as EVIDENCED here, this RARELY happens. I never in a million years thought I could forgive my wife for cheating and take her back, yet I did. Most people don't know what they would do untill they are faced with this. They can be disrespectful, judgemental, etc.. all because of ignorance (Lord knows I am guilty of this, as are a great many others).

YOu probably watched the show tody and did NOT even recognize the "Kandi" you saw on TV. That woman is for better or worse GONE. There is no way you could go through this kind of living hell and NOT be changed. The key to this all, is going on to a better life. You will do this WITHOUT ED, and your life will be better for it.

Cheers,

LM

Just wanted to give you some support. People only see what they want, and that was a jealous comment on the part of that poster on Dr Phil's website. PLEASE...we love you and I know how medicine is today. It takes a good 20 years to get established, no doubt you were working and PAYING FOR HIS SUPPORT AND CAREER!!! I know all about the debt it takes to get thru school and start a practice. There are a lot of stupid people out there K. Let them walk a mile in your shoes. We know and love you here on MB. Just wanted to give you support. It takes over half a lifetime to start making a good salery in medicine-it would actually have been better to start a business, but people who don't live thru it do not know. Honey, you PAID your dues. Keep your head high. HUGS-Jersey Girl

Unfortunately, this is the problem with society...they sterotype people without KNOWING the truth...Maybe a Plastic surgeon in Hollywood lives this way, but not me...I am a normal everyday Texas girl who does normal everyday things...now excuse me while I go have a talk with the maid about missing that spot in the guest room...and on the way, I'll have a talk with the butler for not answering the door promptly...then I must leave the nannies and go have my nails and hair done...Then go to the spa for my daily facial! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

Of course LM...but you and me both know how hard it is to bust your butt thru Medical school, how many years? 8, plus your internship, then residency, then Fellowship...people just dont realize how hard it IS to become a DR now...especially for YOU...

And to make a comment as THAT about a Dr's wife, is just obsurd!(and YES I forgot how to spell) I am not the "typical" Dr.'s wife...I do not wear high heels all day long..I do my own launry, clean my own toilets, mow my own lawn, and I wear tennis shoes all day long...I take care of my OWN kids, I take them places, pick them up ffrom school, go to DRs...I dont have a nanny!

This comment is just so ridiculous! Yea, we live the glamorous life of a RICH dr...That is all I was saying...I agreee whole heartedly with all you said, but that one comment about me giving up the prestige is absolutely ridiculous!

And I didn't watch the show yesterday! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> I really had no interest in watching that one...If they show next weeks show, I might watch it...that is the one that really OPENED my eyes! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

Maybe in the divorce settlement he should provide you with a nanny and maid. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Kandi, I just wanted to say that I have been an admirer of yours since I first heard your story. My story had a somewhat happier ending, we made our marriage better, and have NC with OW and her child. She presented him with a third dau and I presented him with his third son( our 5th child. Our children are 4mos apart, my son is the elder.
However when I watched your show ( I had read it online) I remembered all the feelings I had felt. You have shown such strength going thru this. don't let ignorant people get to you.
Remember what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. You definitely sound strong.
As far as travelling to give your children to their father, be sure you are required to do that. You could meet halfway between where you live and where he lives. Or, you may only have to make the children available, but not provide transportation especially given their ages.
Look into it.
Texasgirl

I believe that people who make comments like that could fall into two situations:

1. Their spouse has never cheated on them (as far as they know) and they haven't a clue.

or

2. They have been cheated on but left the relationship because they no longer loved or were committed to him/her.

Many years ago, a friend and I had a conversation. I said, "If my husband ever had an affair, I'd leave him PRONTO!" She said, "For me, it would depend on the entire situation." I now understand what she means. I am now here, fighting for my marriage after PAs and EAs.

Kandi, I'm sorry your marriage did not survive. Lord knows you went through he** trying. I believe you are working towards a better life.

BTW, I wonder what that poster would say to me? My H is an auto mechanic. (a da** good one, too!)

One of the shows was on here today, and I was thinking he is such a jerk, she should kick him to the curb, then I was like, wait a minute, I haven't kept up with the news on whats been going on SINCE it first aired. Maybe I need to check and she where things are at, and I see that you have filed for divorce, and he's still acting like the jerk he was then.

I know when I heard "he doesn't think your as intelligent as he is" I wanted to punch the man in the face and ask as a Dr. knowing not only the risks of PREGNANCY, but also the risks of SEXUALLY Transmitted diseases how intelligent
DOES THAT MAKE HIM??

Personally, I think your doing GREAT!! And you should ask Dr. P to do an update show so that everyone can see that YOU ARE moving on, and that HE is still the same jerk he was back then. Making the same and some even worse choices now, even after having been on the show.

And for now, I know that one day, I'll log on here and read an updated post that says--"I MET A REALLY WONDERFUL MAN!!"
Who loves me, thinks I'm beautful, intelligent, and treats my kids great, loves them, no things aren't picture perfect, but it's MUCH better than what once was my life.

LOL! Not QUITE ready to date yet, but I am moving on!

I am very happy right now...I still get very angry at times thinking of how he IS still...and how he blames me for HIS actions, but I stop, breathe and THINK about how happy I am and will always be and how miserble he is and will always be! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Very strange thing happened not 3 weeks ago or so...I was taking the boys to get some ice cream...and I ran into an old friend...we talked...she was with her H and their son...I was in a bad way still as this was just after he left the last time...She hugs me and says she saw me on TV and yada yada yada...she was just getting ready to move the next week and asked if we could do lunch...I said "sure" she gave me her number, but I never phoned her...DUMB ME..

then 2 weeks later I run into her at the grocery store...She yells my name..I turn around and she is RUNNING after me...She said it so fast I couldn't understand her! "my H is doing a mom on the baseball team" <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

apparently while SHE was visiting HER sick father, her H decided to do a mom on her son's team! OKEY DOKEY! I asked her if she was staying with him and she said "yes, I love him" she said she couldn't understand WHY I stand with Ed that whole time, but now she knows! I ahven't talked to her in a while!

It makes me sick to know people going thru this...I hate to watch my own friends going thru this cuz I know the pain I endured and it kills me to here them cry or hear them say how much they love their spouse but how their spouse is not willing to work it out!

As for the Dr. Phil show...WELL! They want to follow me this next season as well! I am doing it! They want to do sort of a transformation type thing for me...not sure what it will entail, but i will find out more in the future...

They know I will be going back to school, so I cant be flying out every week like I did before! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />I'll keep you updated thought!

Now, Now, I'm not talking about dating right away, but I can see it. I mean, hey, you have all the men who watch the Dr. Phil show going to be knowing your available in the future..

They will see the tranformations your making and be like WOW!! Thats the kinda woman I want to date and one day marry. Then they will be calling Dr. Phil asking to meet you!!

And then Dr. Phil will have you on the dating game show that he does <GRIN>

Yes, then Dad can think about someone else raising his boys...

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" />

WOW! you think by the end of this next season I can meet my dream man <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> and then the whole world can see my new man and Dr. Dad can wallow in his misery! hahahahahahahaha