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Joined: May 2004
Posts: 167
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Joined: May 2004
Posts: 167 |
Has anyone else found out that their X or STBX now does things with their new partner that they would not do with you?
For example, I love to swim, be around pools, water...but my H didn't really care for it. Now he's perfectly happy hanging out around his girlfriend's pool. It hurt not because he's got a new girl friend, but because he's doing things with her that I couldn't get him to do with me. If I wanted to go swimming I'd have to go by myself because he didn't like to do it or was too busy. I still go by myself, not because I want to but because I have no choice. What really hurt me was the realization that it wasn't that he didn't like to go swimming, he just didn't want to go swimming with me.
Am I wrong to be kind of hurt by this?
Dana Replogle
Yrs Wed - 10 1/2
D-Day 4/11/04
WS (me) 43
BS (H) 37
date of affair 4/03
No contact w/OM since 4/03
filed for D 4/20/05
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Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 266
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Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 266 |
I am living with the exact same hurts. WH never had time to do anything with me, not even go out to dinner. H would never go to the park with DD and I let alone the zoo. Guess who does all of these things all the time?
For the longest time I questioned it. I thought that GF must be more fun or a better woman. I've come to the conclusion though that the relationship is new. H used to do things with me before life's stresses came in. he is trying to please her.
I still hurts a whole lot though and i hate to her from DD all the things they do. It makes me sick, but what can I do?
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Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 40
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Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 40 |
Yea, I know how you feel. My D just starting. You're not wrong to feel hurt, but the other person hasn't lived through your life difficulties. It's easy to be loving and happy/carefree when there aren't real and serious matters like finances, time, work, raising kids. That's why I keep reading about the basic concepts and the more I do the more I believe that using them solidifies the pair bond that is essential to a relationship. Realizing that the marriage failed is tough. My My marriage is failing before my eyes and I can't do anything to stop it. I haven't come to terms yet with letting her and it go. My W wants the same freedom and she describes it as happiness. Like I was inhibiting her happiness.
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