My H became involved with his secretary and says this was after we signed our divorce papers (signed 6/1/05 but in our state 6 month waiting period before divorce final). I am seeing a counselor. I am trying desperately to win my H back. I do believe he still has feelings for me (I may be wrong, but feel our marriage of 18 yrs. is worth a shot of fighting for). We have been together for 20 yrs. and have a 16 yr-old daughter. Over the July 4th holidays, my daughter is leaving for a week-long trip. I am considering seducing my H, but would love any suggestions. I am considering calling him after drinking quite a few drinks and asking him to come over because I need something (not sure what yet) and then seducing him. Does anyone have any very romantic or other suggestions for me? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Hi. Welcome to marriagebuilders. Is his secretary married?

She is also going through a divorce (they signed 4/29/05). I have spoken to both her and my H. She was even going to step out of the picture if that is what I wanted in order to try to save my marriage, but I told her that if it wasn't her - it would just be someone else. I do think my H is having a MLC and completely lost. I really want to win back and am very determined.

I would start with a conversation with him, over dinner ,in a restaurant, expressing what you shared with us here-that you were hasty about not working on your marriage, etc. This should be done level-headed, sincerely and alcohol-free.

What makes you think SEX is the answer for "WINNING HIM BACK"? I would say that my H had a MLC but his relationship with the OW was not about the sex. He mainly was attracted to the ADMIRATION she provided....

Although what mimi said is true, do keep this in mind:

Women have sex because they feel loved -
Men have sex to reassure them that everything is okay -

At least, a lot of the time thats the way that I see it. A lot of the time, I know in my eyes - I found myself wanting to make love with my wife in order to assure myself that everything was okay - she wanted to make love when things were already okay - theres a difference in the perception between couples, at least in my eyes. Be careful if you're trying to use sex as a means of telling him that things are okay when they really aren't; it happened with my wife and I and the problems stayed around while we fell into a false sense of security that ended up causing more problems then it fixed.

I am considering seducing my H,
???

How to seduce my own husband????
You've been together for 20 years and you don't know how to do this?

As others have pointed out, this will probably get you laid but won't do anthing for your marriage.

Read the links below.
Also, I highly suggest you read "Surviving An Affair", LoveBusters" and "His NEeds, Her Needs" all by Dr WIllard Harley.