It has only been an hour since H left here with his check. If you read my other post about closure that should catch you up to speed to this mess. He is not paying a dime for our house, called and said sorry but I can't help you out. I'm so over whelmed with debt. Please anyone help, give me input please. One minute I tell myself sell and move in with parents until I can afford a place on my own, staying here trying to hold onto house will kill me. Work 2 jobs and go to school and still be a part of my 16 D life. Would I be a quiter for taking the easy route and living with parents at my age of 35? Should I struggle and stay here. My D thinks everything will stay the same, her car, her horse things, how do I break the news to her I can't give her those things on my own? I just feel so loaded down at the moment with guilt for her and how things will change and saddness for my srewed up mess, I don't know what to do. D is not his, this will be my 2nd marrigae, of course this one here lasted 11 yrs. What in the world is wrong with me, why can't I move forward, why do I keep thinking about the what ifs, what did I do wrong and why did I say the things I said. Will I ever find someone again. Are all these thoughts normal, I never thought as myself as weal but i'm not i can make it.Please help Am I to old to find happiness again?

I'm sorry, I do not know your story. But wanted to respond anyway.

No, you are not too old to find happiness. One of my dear friends is 10 years older that you, and in a great relationship with a guy she started dating just a few years ago, after 2 divorces. In fact, my 40-something single friends seem to have very active social lives.

Living with your parents for a while could be a good thing financially, and in terms of giving you & your daughter additional support in this time. How do you guys get along?

Probably most importantly, have you talked to a lawyer? How can your H pay nothing and have no responsibility for the house? You don't want to be giving away or agreeing to things you should not...you need some professional guidance.

Hang in there.

Kathi

Hi, I'm so sorry to hear your pain. Do what is in your best interest and the interest of your D. Get legal advice quickly - get the best one you can. Do it before you lose. If you have to move, then thoughtfully move. You have to put yourself in the best place possible. Good Luck

Dakota,

I am sorry to hear this but maybe I can give you a little ray of sunshine?

I have 4 kids and when my EX left she didn't think she needed to pay for anything..so here I was in school, job, 4 kids AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

Here is what I did and still in my house, still have the kids...

First I got rid of all the extras...notice i didn't say comforts..extras.

Cancelled Patron to the arts membership, museum membership, zoo membership, all clubs cancelled (music, movies, golf, etc...) except PTA and American Legion.

No driving for my oldest (he doesn't need to anyway) sold motorcycles and anything else that was costing me money on a monthly basis.

Became even more of a coupon nut(I got $390 worth of groceries for $100!!)

Anyway, the side benefit to all that found savings was this...we are filling our time with each other now rather than events...it's a huge shift in our relationships.

You have to remember some things you do now will change you and the way you perceive the "things you need". The stuff you eventually decide you would like to do again..you can.. as soon as you finish school...so it can be temporary or permanent..up to you.

It'll take a whole lot of pressure off you and trust me...while your D may not like the changes at first she will see what you are doing for what it is...a way for you two to continue in the family home and she will see how adults handle adversity...that will be something she will carry with her the rest of her life.

Not a bad lesson If I say so myself