I am new to this site, and I am seeking advice. I had an affair that lasted ~2 months that was ended when my wife found out about 6 weeks ago. I hate what I did, and I regret it with all of my heart and soul. I want to put the whole thing behind me and make major changes in my outlook and approach to life. I have no residual feelings for OW at all, and I never did have true feelings for her. She fed my ego at the time, and simply served to buoy my constantly faltering self esteem. I had put distance between my wife and I, and I am so sorry.
I was extremely angry and shocked when my wife found out about the A, and she decided to leave. I basically shoved her and my 4 yr old son out the door and I was incredibly cruel. I never told her I loved her on that horrible day. The next day she called me from her folks home and said if I wanted her I had to come and get her -and I did immediately.
We have been working very hard to make things better. I am seeing a counselor to deal with my depression and anger problems which I have had most of my life. We are also seeing a marriage counselor, and I am on depression medication. I am making major changes in my life, and I generally feel myself becoming a better, calmer, and much more loving person. I am making important changes.
My wife however, is really struggling with what I did, and the d-day is especially painful for her. I was so cruel and horrible. This is where I really need help. I want so bad to help her but I was the one who did this. Please help!
I love my wife with all of my heart.
