Well I have been married for 9 yrs and have 3 children. I found out may 9th that my H had a 8mo A. My emotions have been all over the place but I still feel like he is hiding stuff from me. I think he has still been talking to her and is not telling me. I found her number in my cell phone and he swears he didn't call it but he has lied to me many times. How do I know when to end it. How do I know when I am thinking straight enough to make a rational decision. Or whether I will regret it down the road. How do I find out if he is telling me the truth or not? He always tells me he doesn't want to hurt me and maybe he thinks he is protecting me. Etheir way this hurts but how do you know when to leave?

Welcome to marriagebuilders. You are waaaaayyyyyyy too early in this to be posting on the Divorce forum. Try General Questions.

I have a few questions. How did you find out? Do you know who the other woman is? Is she married? Do they work together?

At this point, you must assume that he is NOT telling the truth about anything. That is very typical.

I hope that you will do lots of reading and posting on this site, and give your marriage the best effort you can. That way you will have no regrets if it doesn't work out.

The answer to all of your questions is yes. I have even met her. She is not with her H he is still on the road. how i found out I found her number and called her. He has told me she hasn't been at work for the last week. It has been major drama around here since I found out her calling his friends calling, and her husband calling. It settled down this week but it is like evreyother day I am saying I want him to leave. I haven't let him have the cell phone until last night because him and his stepdad had something to do today and he wanted in case I needed him. Because now I don't have a vehicle because he busted the windshield of his truck in anger. Broke my telephones had to get new ones. Today punch the wall and messed his hand up. I know right now I am not the easiest person to live with but I have not raise my voice to him I have just questioned him and he gets so angry. He has never hurt me nor would he ever that I know of he just goes off and breaks things. That is why I would like to know when do you know to call it quits. I am scared to question him or really talk to him to much afraid him will get angry. I know he is hurting to because he has told me that he cares for her. He said he never wanted anyone to get hurt and that he messed up. There is more to this because this is the 3rd time I have been cheated on. The first two we was sorta both to blame. I pushed him away just had my first child and he couldn't seem to do anything right in my eyes. He was in the wrong and should not of cheated but I did push and we were only 18 very young and stupid. Second one we was seperated I left while I was pregnant. We was having a lot of problems mainly because I 2 miscarriages the yr before and he felt the were my fault because I wouldn't quit my job. I worked in a nursing home and lifted alot of heavy people. Now this one I have been dealing with depression because I felt like i have no life but my kids and him. And searching for something that I can call my own but it is kinda of hard when you have a 2,6, and 9 yr old children that take up most of my time. That is why he said he strayed because he felt I didn't care and she did. It felt good to get attention from anywhere is what he said. He also said that it was not my fault he should of came to me first. But I just seemed to far away sometimes. I don't know. He was being pretty honest on most things but there has been a few times that I have caught him in a lie. Well thanks for your advice.