Hey Newly,

I think you misunderstood my post. I don't. That's what I was whining about! I know, I know, some whine with that cheese...

But I am fortunate to get out fairly frequently because I have an awesome support network. It hasn't really be spent dating though. The dating thing is pretty confusing and scary anyways, so maybe its best if I stick with the laundry! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Here's a link to my own dating troubles (which I probably should have posted in this forum originally) Miker dating debacles

Cheers,

Miker

I have a way to get more personal time. Ignore the house work! As much as I'd like to have a clean & orderly house it's often not worth the effort or the aggrivation to round up the boys to do their share. So, if the house is messy who does that hurt? I don't prefer it that way, but I do prefer more peace & more time for things we all like.

I'm headed to Orlando 8/05. I will be fully aware of the sock potential!!!

Well guys, I have to say, I'm proud of you. It sounds like you have your priorities straight, kids first, then the women.

I admire that!

Karona.

All the guys that fit this picture in my neighborhood are all married (that I know of...)
I'm giving it a rest for now....off of the online thingys (i'm tired of it)and just going to enjoy the summer.
I will just trust that when God is ready for it to happen he will bring the right man along....
KK

Hi Karona:

If you have the time, please ring me up about your visit to my town. jmpersonal@prodigy.net (Ditto to all you MB-ers.) I'm a great tour-guide, just know that DD13 would never allow me to venture through the gates of an area park w/o her - the roller-coaster junky that she is! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

And I promise to wear matching sox! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

FR

I would love to meet my first MB-er team member, I just don't know that I can make it happen.
Two of my friends are picking me up, we may do something around Orlando, then we're headed to Daytona to stay.
I don't plan on doing any park stuff, never, not without my girls!!!

Now it looks like I'm all talk and no action, haha!!

I will be at the airport 2 hrs before my flight on Sunday, that's about the only sure Orlando plan I know of.

So FR, have you ever been to Dixie Crossroads?? it's in Titusville. I LOVE that place.

Thanks for the offer. I do wish I could meet you. I wish a big group of us could all meet each other somewhere/someday.

Thanks for the offer and the effort with the socks!!!!

Karona

Karona:

Ah, now you make me laugh!




See how you are!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />




You mean the place with the awesome corn-fritters, mini-ponds full of fish everywhere and the best rock shrimp anywhere in Florida? Nope - never heard of it... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />


That would be fun - and full of stories I'm sure. Have a great time while here. You might also try JB's Fish Camp in New Smyrna Beach. (It's over on the river, just ask around.) Very casual, fun atmosphere and excellent food.

FR <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Yup, that's the place. LOVE the Rock Shrimp. Have spent many hours sitting out by the fish ponds WAITING to get in!!! I forgot about the corn fritters, you just reminded me.

I think I have heard of JB's, but not sure I ever made it there. I lived in Daytona for 12 years, but there were many places I didn't get to. My x didn't get into going out to dinner much.

I'm not sure what we will do Sat/day. I know the evening we are going to a party. I worked at the hospital in daytona. There is a retirement party going on, and we are going. I can't wait to see a lot of the people I worked with. It's going to be a luau. It should be a lot of fun.

Talk to you soon.
Karona

"All the guys that fit this picture in my neighborhood are all married
Don't discount people for making contacts, I'm sure these men have single friends. I think we will all do better to meet someone through a friend/acquaintance than in a bar.

And since I got a dog, I've been meeting more and more neighbors.

And Karona, you still have an invite to travel east to meet some MBrs. One oldtimer who doesnt' post is getting divorced today as we speak.

kk,
I dont know how old your kids are that are still at home...but if I was in your shoes, I'd put dating on hold until the birds have flown the nest. Embrace your girlfriends and platonic male friends...have fun and live life. Should you happen to cross paths with a nice guy then more power to you...they say love happens when you least expect it...so dont place emphasis on finding a relationship. Focus your energy on yourself,those precious young people and your dear friends.

Newly, I have NOT given up on meeting you, it will happen someday. I appreciate the standing offer.

I will keep the MB-er in my thoughts today as they go through their D.

Karona

Thanks for your reply, Newly. I think meeting guys that way would be great....maybe that will happen someday. My friends know what I would and would not go for, after all.

Ruby, that is a very wise thought, to wait until my kids are grown. The years are going by so quickly, and you're right, I do need to cherish them. They've been through so much, and I try to focus on them as much as I can.

I still have that feeling of something missing, and I am praying for God to fill it in the meantime.
Thanks!
KK

Karona, you (and others) have expressed a fair amount of angst over where and how to meet quality men. There is a lot of ins and outs to that, but underneath it all has to be willingness to recognize and seize opportunites. I find it confusing you are passing up what would seem to be a good one, so figured I would comment.

Disclaimer...I am not chastising or judgeing anyone in this post, just observing and commenting on a circumstance. I do not know the people involved at all, and obviously everyone does what they want, and has agendas.

Karona you have expressed a certain amount of admiration for a male such as fishracer, and will be in his neck of the woods...he has done the same, and "opened" opportunity by asking directly to meet (a brave move in such a public place), you are essentially turning him down, despite all the dancing about you are doing to not appear that way. The fact is, if any of us wants to make something happen...we do. Given that you are not local to each other, and you are going to be geogrphically close to someone you think is interesting, it is more a reflection on your committment to "meeting" people than it is a shedueling problem. In most cases ones girlfriends would be delighted to assist each other to "meet" someone, I am sure you could arrange a brief meeting.... if you wanted to. So one of two things is happening

A. You really don't want to, no chemistry or whatever, and don't want to be honest (understandable in a public forum, but you could arrange an email, that would be the appropriate action when someone has stuck their neck out).

B. You are not really committed to meeting men, if it happens fine, if not fine, it is not a high priority. If so, anyone of such mind should not complain much about reduced opportunity, nothing ventured nothing gained.

I have no idea why you are passing up this opportunity, or why people in general often do just what you are doing...complain about dating, but not doing everything they possibly can to make opportunities..but it is not uncommon. Perhaps you have a policy of not "meeting" anyone on-line, or maybe you simply lack sufficient self-confidence, so "avoid" making choices, as you did with the other man you just broke up with, he had to leave you (but I don't think he was worthy anyways, the disturbing thing is it took you so long to figure that out).

Anyways, again, not a chastisement, or anything like that, just an observation of a circumstance, change the names could be anyone. Re the honesty thing (if you are not being truthfull, and I don't know one way or the other). If we (and everyone here says they do) believe in the principle of radical honesty, then we should apply it...right? We can "socially" lie to neighbors, co-workers, strangers...whatever. But in relationships (even initial dating ones) if we are not truthfull, we are reinforceing the behaviour of NOT being radically honest, and that will not serve us well. If you don't ever want to meet fishracer you should simply say so (albeit, email probably) it would be more honest. If I had to guess though, the reason is probably more one of fearfullness, and probably an unwillingness to change your girlfriends plans. I think if the latter you should ask them if they would mind, they probably would be adapatble, given the importance of opportunity. A peoplepleaser won't ask such things (not wanting to supposedly upset others plans), which IMO makes such people less desireable as mates in general, if they cannot learn when to please and when not to, and stop making other peoples decisions for them.

Again no offense to anyone, I am just taking this cirucmstance as an opportunity to make a point about seizeing the moment if you want things to happen in your life.

Hey Knight:

I still think it's the sock issue - because I was clear about the deoderant usage!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Your post is excellent and very true. I for one am guilty of not "following up" on potential dates and/or after a first date and have given this a lot of thought. My conclusion is clearly related to priorities. My DD13 is having a rough go with xw, and is relying on me as her "rock" and my home as her "safe-haven". Therefore, everything else is secondary in my life, until this sitch has been made better.

Again, good observation and input!

FR <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Knight,

How interesting your take on this.
I didn't take this the same. I didn't really think that Fishracer was "really" trying to meet me.
When I read what he wrote, I thought, that was nice, but I didn't think he was serious.

I did think it was in fun. Had it been a woman suggesting such, I think I would have taken it differently, that she really did want to meet.
(Such as Newly, she has extended an offer, and I very much plan on meeting her one day).
I guess then the question would be, why do I interpret women vs. men so differently? Women to me would be another great friendship, while I have never had that kind of friendship with men, unless we were dating.
It's not that I would be so opposed, it's just new/foreign to me to think this way with a guy.

I appreciate your input and I will think about it, I just may even print it!

Ultimately, I very much want to meet a quality guy and have a quality relationship. I guess I need to work on the whole meeting technique!

And to FR, I still find the whole sock line very funny!

Points well taken Knight.

Karona

I will look to see if the socks match first!!! If they do I'll move on!!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

dawn <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I did get to meet a fellow MBer this past week, MnM and I meet for breakfast last Tuesday while I was on vacation in her area.

So Karona (and fr), seems the interest is still there, are you going to make something happen? Clearly both of you are pushing the limits of your comfortzones, but isn't that the nature of being "available" anyways, take emotional risks? Karona, this clearly was not just kidding around, it was a bonafide offer to meet, I think you knew that at some level. Since is not a formal "date", and is a fellow MB'er, would be fairly short..why not.....just....do.....it. Heck could even include your girlfriends, and meet fr together or some such (if you feel a need for moral support). Anyways the whole point of my comments is.... from my vantage point, I cannot see a single reason to pass up this opportunity/experience for either of you. Yes, is not purely meet a fellow MB'er ( a different kind of motivation), it is a kinda "date" too, but such a lowrisk one, makes no sense not to explore this opportunity and learn more about oneself accordingly. Most of the time we know very little about someone who takes an interest in us, such is the nature of things. Here both of you have some pre-knowledge that should relieve a little of that anxiety, and a common interest (participation on MB). Will anything come of it, who knows, maybe, a brief/chance/accidental/bold etc. meeting is often how something "started", but the odds are most "dates" do not go far, so no big deal when one doesn't, the important thing is whether one is being "out there", discerning and seizeing, opportunity, and learning about themself by doing so...so when the right one comes along, you (all of us) are "ready".

Knight, you just don't give up.

The point has been well taken and discussed between FR and myself.
And I have seen a pic of him too! You won't believe it, He LOOKS JUST LIKE MEL GIBSON!!!!!

I'm meeting two of my closest friends whom I haven't seen for 7 years. I think it's an awkward situation, not to mention the fact that they are both very married and I don't want their husbands mad at me.

I will mention it to them. If there is a way we could meet somewhere for a short time, maybe it could work.

And Knight, (in all sincerity) I'm really curious at this point about your story. You give this well thought out advice, but it leaves me wondering what your story is.
You recently reg. but I'm not familar with you other than the advice you give. Care to share? The old board, you could look back on someone, and see their posts. I'm not sure if this new one allows us to do that.

Thanks again for your input! You will be 3rd to know if the "meet" happens!

Karona

yeah, didn't want to be annoying, so almost didn't post that follow up, but did so mostly cause of what you said in your reply..good luck. As for me, I am trying to figure out all this dating stuff as well, so here I am...and have made some of the same mistakes I talk about (like not seizeing the opportunity). What led me to post about your circumstance was the stark contrast between the laments about meeting people, and blowing right past a terrific opportunity to do just that, made no sense at all. Turns out though, this is very very common behavior(according to the books I have read about dating), people complain, lament, etc. about their relationship lives, but do not employ good behavior (like hanging on way to long with the guy you recently broke up with), or not pursuing opportunities (and not seeking out opportunitiues as well, such as talking to strangers in public places, like grocery store, bookstore, coffee shop etc.). Turns out, if people employ good technique it is very easy to meet scores of prospective "dates".

Well, thx for making me "3rd" I suspect there are several hundred curious folks about, and I am certainly one of them, always liked a good ending though, so if happens hope it isn't a "disaster"...

Mel Gibson?? whoa, aren't you the lucky one fr.

Mel Gibson - I'm not! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

nor Brad Pitt. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Perhaps on a good day - a touch more attractive than Pee Wee Herman! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

But I'm always happy looking in the mirror. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

FR