She finally discussed our situation to a small degree. She does not know my plans but I think that she senses that something is coming. We went to an event at the local country club this weekend. They had their big member-guest tournament and the associated parties. The WW invited her cousin so that she could have a shield from me during the weekend. We had our kids as we usually do. Most people think that we are a couple with no problems as we give nothing away publically.
At all of the events, I stayed with my friends and had nothing to do with her. After the events yesterday, we went home and she announced that she was hungry and we should take the kids out to eat. On the drive to the restaurant, she informed me that I was always in a bad mood and not any fun( she gets caught in an inappropriate relationship and we have not slept in the same room for ten months) but I am not any fun. I told her that no one else commented on me being in a bad mood but her. She said that if she put me in a bad mood then please stay away from her and that would please her. I told her that I would stay away from her. I also did not want to discuss this with her with the kids on the back seat.
Then she starts telling the kids that they needed to pester me when we got back home to irritate me. She also starts trying to playfully claw at me. We then get to the restaurant and sit down in a booth. Opposites sides of course. Then her mood changed and she wanted to get back into my bad mood. She asked me to start taking AD's. She said that she thought that it would help and that she would not tell anybody if I wanted to keep it secret. I told her that I was not depressed and would not do this.
I was depressed about seven years ago and am well aware of the symptoms. I took Zoloft for two months while I dealt with the problems that got me down. I have no symptoms of depression now but would not play around with it if I did. I would go immediately to the doctor to prevent going through that hell again. She said that I was always grumpy and irritable around her. I told her that she could call my office assistants and see what my mood is during the day. I told her that they would tell her that we laugh, joke and cut up all day. I told her to call my friends and see what kind of mood that I am in. She then said it must be just around her and the kids. I told her that I was not grumpy around the kids.
She then asked was I just like that around her and I responded that it must just be her. She then told me that I should just move out of the house. At that point, I did not want to go any further because the 8 and 11 year olds were right there with us. I told her that I was not moving out of our house. She then said that she would move out if I wanted her to. I wanted to say go ahead and I will help but I did not want to say that in front of the kids. I just stared back at her and gave her a "go to hell" smile. She said that I obviously wanted her to go and it was obvious by my response. I told her that I did not say that because I, once again, did not want to get into with the kids sitting there. I also definitely was not going to tell her to stay.
I could tell that the "ice queen" was visibly rattled. She obviously thought that I would not take a stand. This is because she heard me say over and over again that I did not want to be separated from my kids back when I was trying to save the M before I found out about the OM. I guess she thought that she could still bank on this while sitting back in her "ice cave". I think that she saw in my eyes how far gone from her that I was and that I was thinking about leaving.
She then changed her tune and started talking about how the kids needed us to stay married and how it would hurt them if we split up. She said we could at least stay married for the ten years until the youngest graduated and that we could split then if I wanted to. She informed me that would be fine with her if I wanted to then. She said that things were bad but how did I know that things would be better for me if we split. I did not respond because this conversation was completely inappropriate with our children sitting there.
I thought that we would discuss it further when we got home but no such luck. She immediately put on her pajamas and got the kids to get in bed with her and shut the door. What did all of that mean? It all seemed inconsistent and bizarre. In the end, it was all just words, words and more words. I need action. I need her to come clean so we can start working on the M. Without that, it all seems too futile.
If she was shocked by my actions this weekend then she is going to be floored in about 50 days. I now since that she feels that something is coming. I think that she had to know that we were not going past this summer without a resolution. However, she is not going to discuss the A and has made that clear. This could be an interesting 50 days or she might not mention it again.
If anyone can make sense of her actions then please let me know. If you need more info on anything that I might have left out, please let me know and I will supply anything else that I can. Responses and insights would be appreciated.
