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Did she send a NC letter?

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Any chance you could get the current cell phone bill online?


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Why is she staying married if your marriage is a mistake? What is her explanation?


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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How has your Plan A coming, flyer?

Are you focused on meeting her needs? Reduced R talk?

Just assume she is still having the affair. It makes your course of action more clear.

Harley says a good solid Plan A for about 6 months. If things haven't changed by then, Plan B.

Don't even try to pretend you're in recovery. You're not. Your behavior will be very different. Do not trust her.

You can let her know how much continued contact hurts you. But you cannot make "demands" at this point. You can't educate her. You can't control her.

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I have asked her to fill out an emotional needs questionnaire....but she has not done so. I have been focused on meeting her needs now since she revealed the EA back in October and then the PA in Feb. She is VERY limiting in allowing me to meet her most important needs though.

In the last few weeks I have tried very hard not to talk much about our relationship and have succeeded relatively well but we do still talk about our relationship and that has been with her consent.

On the LB side of things...I have been trying harder the last few weeks to concentrate on not LBing and have been fairly effective. Probably got close to LBing again last night...but it went a lot better than a lot of our previous communication has gone.

So although I would like to say that I've been doing Plan A all along...it probably has not been a very effective Plan A because of R talk and LBing....mainly R talk.

It has become obvious to me through this that she is not prepared to commit to NC at all. She does admit that I have made significant changes in my life since D-Day although her opinion today would be that I have my good days and bad days...and that she has her good days and bad days.

So perhaps I need to adjust my Plan A to be more effective. I guess my big question is what happens when WS will not let you meet the most important emotional needs? Can an effective Plan A still be executed by no LBing and meeting whatever needs she will let me need?

Flyer
Yes.

Now, I am gonna say that I think we are just about at Plan B. Start getting your letter ready. Start making plans on how you are going to execute Plan B. She is on the fence. She is gonna maintain the status quo. You have been at this over 6 months.

Sure, every time you meet a need, you make a deposit. And she has noticed. But, she cant get off the fence. This is the perfect scenario for Plan B.

You may think she is done with the marriage, but she hasnt gone without you yet. She has her reasons for staying in the marriage and interacting with you. Plan B will give her a taste of what it will be like not to have you. Odds are, she aint gonna like it!

So, get it all ready for Plan B.

In His arms.


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