I woke up alone this morning, feeling the VOID again. Today was supposed to be my 14th wedding anniversary. 2 years ago, WxW didn’t recognize it b/c unbeknownst to me, she was waist deep in deep waste (her A), planning to leave me. Last year, she was too busy actually divorcing me and opening her new medical practice on this very date. What a painful symmetry.

Sure, I’ve grown and am learning great lessons, but I still hurt. Regardless of how far I go, I wonder if I’ll ever love or trust as I did on that day when we told God and man that we would be together till death. Sometimes I feel as Alanis Morrisette sand a decade ago:

And every time you speak her name
Does she know how you told me you'd hold me
Until you died, til you died?
But you're still alive <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />


My sister's friend who just found out her fiancé is leading a double life. Shattered, she asked my sister what could she do to move quickly through her pain. We all know that only time can heal some wounds. But even so the calendar, with all these tricky dates, reminds us of the distance left to travel. I wonder: does it ever really stop hurting?

hi DL

long time since last read anything from you.

How are the kids? Do you have joint custody?

Is slime ball still in the picture? Always wondered if it would last long always seemed rocky.

Are you generally getting on ok ?

Kids are ok, although my oldest keeps asking when mom's coming home. We do have 50/50 custody so the kids switch homes every day and alternate weekends.

OM is STILL around. They got engaged about 2 months after the divorce. He's still trying to move to this area but can't b/c he can't find a job to meet his child support/alimony requirements. Just ridiculous.

I'm a lot better emotionally, but it's still challenging in other areas. Got fired (!) in April and am still job hunting. No money, no love life, lots of pressures. My boys are happy though and that adds smiles to my face...

OM can't get there? what a load of BS that is. I reckon you had him pegged all along ........whats the bet he is NEVER able to move down??
BUT not YOUR worry any more at least.


as for your job, perhaps you should take any half decent job around even if not in your field just to get YOU out into the world and new life. Then keep looking for what you want.

Were you taking any action against your prevous employer ?
It was a deployment & a half ago for me so its all a bit fuzzy mate, sorry.

But I am so glad the kids are ok as can be expected - but poor little tyke must be confused about his mums actions. Love them both big time DL and be the shining knight for them.

This end AW is due any time soon, breeding giants, and we are ok, not great but ok. Between the deployments and pregnancy we've not had much opportunity to work on us & M so we are so careful to not be L busting.
I'd say we are almost happy and both have agreed not to leave for the new bubs sake as well as our own.
We both want this M now so that helps. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Good for you! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> I'm glad things are looking up! Little ones can give folks a new perspective.

As for my employment situation, I'm a finalist for two pretty good positions. Both pay more than my last job so I'm hopeful. I have taken action against my former emplyers for my earned severance, which they withheld. When I revealed the records I'd been keeping, they became much more willing to cooperate. Exposure works in the workplace too!

It's tough, though, all this waiting, rebuilding, conflict, exposure, adjustment, etc. I get tired sometimes. Gotta keep moving though...

thats great DL...2 jobs!!!

doesn't that suck that a employer would have the info but not give you your entitlements unless they know you have the same info??? and we talk about employers doing the right & moral thing...yeah if you can catch them not doing it!!!

yeah it will be sorta nice to have a little one around - hope I'm here a bit more to enjoy the tyke. Who knows with the war going strong.
Of course it goes without saying that I do not do nappies

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

It feels like I haven't stopped since 9/11....thats a long time... but deployed 4 times once for 13 months... has been wearing on the family. So yeah know what you mean about endless challenges and getting tired.
With some luck I'll throw the crutches away this week for good and be back on my pins full time. Then I can catch that big watermelon shes carrying.......lol <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />