I woke up alone this morning, feeling the VOID again. Today was supposed to be my 14th wedding anniversary. 2 years ago, WxW didn’t recognize it b/c unbeknownst to me, she was waist deep in deep waste (her A), planning to leave me. Last year, she was too busy actually divorcing me and opening her new medical practice on this very date. What a painful symmetry.

Sure, I’ve grown and am learning great lessons, but I still hurt. Regardless of how far I go, I wonder if I’ll ever love or trust as I did on that day when we told God and man that we would be together till death. Sometimes I feel as Alanis Morrisette sand a decade ago:

And every time you speak her name
Does she know how you told me you'd hold me
Until you died, til you died?
But you're still alive <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />


My sister's friend who just found out her fiancé is leading a double life. Shattered, she asked my sister what could she do to move quickly through her pain. We all know that only time can heal some wounds. But even so the calendar, with all these tricky dates, reminds us of the distance left to travel. I wonder: does it ever really stop hurting?

Sorry - I hope you are feeling better.... You just have to go one day at a time... And as for Alanis Morrisette - do you know she was singning that song about Dave Coullier - who played Joey on Full House - the some what sort of goofy friend that was just on the Surreal Life actually - and now she is happily engaged and happy.... to the guy who played VanWilder - so you know what life does move on.... Still hoping for the day that I wake up and thank my ex for everything because I am the happiest I have ever been... I hope and pray it happens sooner rather than later....