Hi, found.

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She has anti-spyware on it and locked me out of it.
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If I were in your position, I would format the hard drive, then you can post here from work.

I would not be disrespected in my own home. Your wife can get a job and buy her own computer.

Yes, she will get mad.

God bless,
Gimble

Eeek FAR - Another one advises that your wife needs a job!!!!!!!!!!

She has a part time job. She gets about 20 hrs a week there. One of the possible A's started there. (she works as an assistant manager at a retail outlet in a hospital. A patient is who i suspect she had/is having some sort of A with)

gimble - if she will not share with me her stuff, I will lock her out of that computer. But if i confirm the other A, she will have a short time to chose to reconcile - or it will be plan b for sure. But i am approaching it gently. Thanks for your advice, Gimble.

A new development - i just told WW I would support her in another play if she was offered a part. (same theatre as last play where EA/PA took place - painful memories...) Part of my dying to self, i guess. But it would come with strings attached. I would need assurance that nothing is going on, and I would call OMW from the last play to make sure he did not go around there.

The possibility of other inappropriate relationships is looming. I have lost my ability to investigate. Should I just ask her outright? But that would not be conflict avoidance!!!.....

Ugh.

Hi, found.

Would you mind explaining to me why you want this woman (a serial cheater) in your life? No offense intended, I really don't understand what it is that you are getting from the relationship, or what it is that you did for six years that has left you so guilty that you will tolerate the level of disrespect you are being fed.

I read you talking about putting your arm around her or rubbing her feet and I don't understand the attraction or why you consider either act, forward motion.

You do know that it is okay to get angry, and that every marriage should routinely experience conflict. Both are healthy. Completely avoiding either or both, can have disastrous consequences.

It seems to me that your wife just wanders about, in no particular direction, in a foggy haze with no boundaries. Isn't it time you set some boundaries for your marriage? How are you instructing your children? What examples are you making for them?

I don't intend to be mean or "2X4" you, but your situation reminds me of trying to pin down jello. What are the hard rules you are operating from? Maybe you posted them and I missed it. What are your goals and methods? What is your timeline? Basically speaking, what is your plan?

God bless,
Gimble

Maybe a few good 2x4s might help me.

This woman is a good mom, albeit with some quirks. When not possessed - she is a passionate mate. A wonderful, devoted friend.

I am getting nothing from the relationship. But my kids currently live at home with both parents, and get a lot of love.

What is my plan? Well - I am trying to nail that one down. I have some direction - but no good timeline. I do not have a good set of hard rules. I am ill equipped for this - but wading through it the best I can.

We had a good heated conversation two nights ago. I told her i was suspecting something. She immediately asked if I had any evidence. I gave none (don't really have anything), but said her activity on the computer was similar to the last A -- which was largely email based. She turned it on me - asked if I was involved with anyone - stating that I spent a lot of time on the computer, too.

I also found an outgoing text message that is indicitave of past involvement with someone.

She has totally departed from the morals she had before the first A. I do not wish to be with the person she is now - but she quotes lines from the WS handbook that are nearly verbatim what I have been told she would say. That gives me hope - because she is following a pattern. And many times the pattern ends in a healed relationship.

I am going to try to contact a Harley this week. I will keep you posted.

I am so tired of the battle. Weary.

Please, GOD, send a miracle.

far

Hi, found.

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Please, GOD, send a miracle.
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Stand up and walk.

Some miracles require action on your part.

No one is going to come take over for you and do everything that you need to be doing. You want to get through this, then YOU take steps to get through it.

God bless,
Gimble

Thanks, Gimble. I am forming a plan. I know that miracles require action. Most miracles come about by action.

I just found some more text messages that are suspicious, and a phone record to a process server. I think she is about to file.

I spoke long ago about one of ww's "friends" storing a lot of sound gear in the garage at my house. She has kept contact with him very low profile - but my suspicions are gaining validity. Sunday after I come home from work I am going to move it into the street, while WW is at work. Then I will call her and ask her to call him to let him know it needs to be moved. She also works Monday - I will be home all day with the kids. I will likely call a friend who is a cop, and a couple of other resources with the police and alert them to a possible disturbance sunday night or monday. I will not get involved - but if he goes balistic on the house, I want to be prepared. Actually - if he goes balistic on the house, that is major love busting - isn't it?

I feel plan B coming on soon. I appreciate your support and orders.

Mortar - wanna help guide my plan B??

I think it may be time. You do a Plan B letter yet? If not, write it and put it on here so we can vet it.

In His arms.

Thanks, Mortar.

I copied one - will search for more when I am not so tired. I might wait a week or so. Might get served in the meantime. No biggie.

You once mentioned a plan B in the same house. If I go to plan B, and we separate we will all likely end up in apartments. Although I am the type that would like a totally dark plan B, I might need to at least discuss the wacky options.

I like the idea of apartments - we have a lot of debt and it would help to dig out. I am headed that direction, anyway. What I am doing is not working, and I know what would work. It is just that living on 1/2 acre is really comfortable.
But I know what has to happen.

Anyway - I will get a letter here in two or three days.

thanks, again. Was starting to miss your voice. I know you are frustrated with me.

far