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Joined: Dec 1969
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<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> I hate to disappoint all of you, but that was ME that just farted. Susan <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />
Money can buy you a fine dog, but only love can make him wag his tail.
~ Kinky Friedman
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Believer, I too feel uncomfortable discussing anyone's character.
And I know you have a bigger picture to look at than I do.
I probably shouldn't be interjecting my thoughts into any of this, but these two wonderful people have helped me survive my own little nightmare, and I care about both of them very deeply (and I know we all care about each of us here).
Maybe one of the hardest parts of this... for all BS's... is to figure out how much of the mess is fog/addiction/alien/etc., and how much is Character. One is salvageable, and the other -- generally -- is not.
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I think we've lost Homer.
Character - I knew my WH for many years before we got married. He was a good man. Probably the best man I have ever known. He treated everyone well - the King of England, or a down and out heroin addict. He had a good character.
But there is a tiny little part of his character that is not so good. He cannot remain faithful.
I weighed what I could, or could not put up with and have finally decided that his bad points outweigh his good points.
That is what Homer has to decide. If she ever comes back to her thread.
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Joined: Apr 2001
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Well, if she doesn't come back, I hope she sticks to her course of action and doesn't let this latest crumb divert her.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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News flash!
In a late breaking story, Homer's husband's mistress broke up with him today. Homer's husband, in a dumfounded stupor ran to his betrayed wife for comfort, and to blame her for the demise of his illicit relationship. Later that day, Homer's husband, while attempting to drink himself into some sort of logical awareness of his illogical conclusions, accidently confused a small vial of nitroglycerin for his tequila, and drank it.
As fate would have it, the remains of his trousers were found blocks away from the scene of the explosion. An old WWII veteran that witnessed the explosion said: "Well, it was like the loudest buzz bomb I ever heard. I guess he farted and the nitro went off, but not all at once. It was kinda like the explosion stuttered. Man he took off like a saturn rocket. I mean right through the roof. I thought it was some kind a forth of July gimmick."
Mr. Homer has not been found yet. We have been in contact with a local physicist who told us that he didn't believe that the reaction to the explosions would have released enough force to propel Mr. Homer into orbit, and thought that his chances of survival were at least minimal. The physicist name is being withheld at his request. Officially, the dynamics of a farted nitroglycerin explosion have not been modeled.
In a related story, Homer's husband's mistress was contacted with details of the event, her only comments were "I can't believe that he would explode like that without me. Am I chopped liver here? What about me?" (story continued on page 2A)
Please stay your path. Don't let a little thing like this throw you.
All the best,
Gimble Awwhh Gimble, this is great stuff. R U a writer by trade? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> Need you for my book. LOL!!! Ok Homer, where are you? Looks like these MBers are having a lively discussion without you. When you come back, I'd like to add my 2 cents to this lively convo. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> take care, L.
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Sorry you lost me...I had to post and run. There was falling debris coming from some type of explosion and I had to get out of the way.
So STBXH somes home, very quiet and sullen as usual. I gave him a hug and he closed his eyes and sighed. I asked him to think about whether he was ready to step up to the plate and work on things now that OW was out of the picture. He said he wasn't sure because there were sooooo many things/issues in our marriage. I told him to think about it and let me know because I wanted to apply for an apartment soon so I woudn't loose out.
My STBX has shown me in the last 8 months that he is very insecure and depressed and he is looking for someone else to validate him and make him happy. Guess I wan't doing it because #1 I was too busy with my kids and #2 I was too busy yelling at him for making me feel like a piece of dogdoo. Funny....he doesn't seem to understand how I was feeling, when all along he was feeling that way too.
I agree that he needs to show me something big to amke me want to stay. Who knows what he'll do when the next OW comes along and this time she likes him she really likes him.
"LET GO.....OR GET DRAGGED"
me 42
WH 42
DD 12, 11
Married 15 years, known 17
EA 7/04- continued "coincidental" contact
DD 9/24/04
He moved out 10/04
Plan A since 9/04
Wh moved home 5/05 "didn't want to be there"
OW told him to "leave me alone" 7/05
I moved out 8/05
10/05 WH hasn't filed the divorce papers YET!!
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Taking a wayward husband back who really wants to be with another woman ... I could not and would not ever do that. I might murder him in his sleep <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> Pep <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> I would pop a cap on his [censored]. Mel - it's "pop a cap IN his [censored]", and actually infers to pop a cap into his [censored]. Not literally his [censored], but....
foundareason
D: March 2006 (xw - multiple a's)
I have found a NEW REASON!!!!
A Treasure!!
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My STBX has shown me in the last 8 months that he is very insecure and depressed and he is looking for someone else to validate him and make him happy. Guess I wan't doing it because Homer, your H is in a very deep, dark hole that he's been unable to climb out of on his own. "There is no dungeon darker than the human mind." The insecurity and depression that helped to get him where he is are the same things that prevent him from getting out. Then pile on a few cubic yards of guilt and shame and embarrassment. I think he loves you, and needs you, and wants all of this to go away. But unless he has a sudden influx of humility, you're the LAST person he'll let in to help him. At one time... he was a warm, caring, thoughtful, giving H... yes?
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Homer, While the LADIES <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> are having at it in their own fashion I would like to remind you that nothing in your discuss with him had a thing to do with your marriage, restoring your marriage, or rebuilding your marriage. So exactly what "second chance" are you talking about? At this point there is NO chance so continue on as you are "steady as she goes", toward the D. You have no reason to do otherwise. No decisions to make, and there is no need to borrow trouble. God Bless JL
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Homer,
Good to get an update. Your husband is now paying the price for being a complete idiot; thinking only of himself, treating you like dirt, hurting your kids. But, I know you love him.
Many may disagree with me but if he truly commits to working on the marraige, then I suggest you give him a 2nd chance. I know you have done EVERYTHING you could to hang onto the marraige so now he has to prove to you if he wants to.
People do unbelievably stupid things when the fall into the "fog" (You know about my x-wife!). Your husband may have learned his lesson though.
I think you want the marraige to work but it is up to him to win you back. Let him do the work and if he isn't willing to, I know you could do much better.
Also, it is easy to drag a divorce out so don't even worry about that part.
That's my $.02.
My prayers are with you Homer! Contact me anytime.
Keith
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Day two post end of the fantasy. WH called to let us know he would be home late. Hasn't done that since he moved back last month. Came home and made small talk with all of us. Hasn't done that since he moved back. I went to bed without saying good night. This morning he was again conversing with us all. Ask me to have lunch with him, and again talked about stuff he hasn't shared with me for awhile. Mentioned the vacation I have planned for next week and implied that he would like to come.
Right now I am afraid to bring up what the future holds. He is a CA and everytime I want to talk he stonewalls. I feel like I should just go with the flow, make no demands, but also just go about with my life as I have for the past 8 months. I am going out with friends this evening and again this coming weekend and next week going to a concert which I haven't done for a long time.
But as a word of caution for those lurkers who have just found out about EA/PA and are trying to get more info. I got information in a way that may cause me my job. Everyone I work with is being investigated for another unrelated incident and I may end up paying the piper for something I did. Just be careful.....the emotional state we BS's find ourselves in can make us do crazy things. Pray for me on this....I can not afford to lose my job.
"LET GO.....OR GET DRAGGED"
me 42
WH 42
DD 12, 11
Married 15 years, known 17
EA 7/04- continued "coincidental" contact
DD 9/24/04
He moved out 10/04
Plan A since 9/04
Wh moved home 5/05 "didn't want to be there"
OW told him to "leave me alone" 7/05
I moved out 8/05
10/05 WH hasn't filed the divorce papers YET!!
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I hate to disappoint all of you, but that was ME that just farted. Susan 
