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My STBX sent my Mom a 3 page email. He told her that she needed to "step in" and help me because I'm mean and that I'm being very neagative. It went on and on about how he tried and I wasn't taking his help and that everything is pretty much my fault. He also says how he had the courage and integrity to walk away and that he has to be happy. Oh my God.....he just doesn't stop. My parents and brother were so angry when they read the email. He's trying to involve my family now and trying to get them to think I'm nuts. How do you deal with this kind of junk?????? My Mom is going to send him an email asking that he no longer send them anything. They support me!!!!!! GOD.....this is getting soooooooo old!!!!!!!!!!!
Me 35 STBX 39 Dear son 9 Married...15 years (Jan. 20, 1990) D-Day July 20, 2004. Divorcing! What goes around comes around
Sometimes we have to hold our head high, blink back the tears and say GOOD-BYE
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He seems to think about you an awful lot Tree. Strange what people will do to justify bad behaviour. I'm glad you've got the support of your family. TT
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He's such a tool....a pooper scooper, to be exact!
You've got MY support, too. Have your 'rents print that letter off for your lawyer. Just to keep on file.
He's bent.
I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten. My Story Recovered!
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TT......Yes, I agree along with my parents and firneds....he does seem to have too much time to worry about me. I think you're right. He is trying every means possibly to justify his actions. Boy...what a long hard life he will lead! :-)
Dealan-de.....LOL....yep, he's a pooper scooper. That's funny! My Mom copied the letter and I plan on giving it to my lawyer. He's nuts! I just don't understand why he just can't let it go. He got what he wanted. Him and OW have what they fought for so can't I just be left alone???
Me 35 STBX 39 Dear son 9 Married...15 years (Jan. 20, 1990) D-Day July 20, 2004. Divorcing! What goes around comes around
Sometimes we have to hold our head high, blink back the tears and say GOOD-BYE
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He also says how he had the courage and integrity to walk away Seems like he's having a hard time doing that... Isn't it interesting to watch as reality sets in? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />
BS-28 (Me)
WH-28
Married: 06/05/04
D-day: 3/13/05 EA/PA
D-day: 9/22/05 PA
Together 5 years
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Tree he is obsessed with you. His every waking moment seems to be filled with fantasies of you and actions towards you.
he appears obsessed with getting people from his old life with you to agree with his warped view of life.
[censored].
If I was french letter I'd be jealous.
Get your folks to write him back saying leaving a young family for selfish pleasure is ALWAYS the cowards thing for a man to do however he might try to rewrite history and delude himself. ALWAYS.
And burn his freakin' house down.
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
{{{tree}}}
MB Alumni
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He got what he wanted. Him and OW have what they fought for so can't I just be left alone? Not quite, Tree. He WANTED you to be joyous about his new life. Why cant everyone just be happy for him? Everyone being mad at him wasnt in his plan. It never ceases to amaze me... 'I'm going to trash several familys so that I can be <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />happy!<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />... Why is everyone mad at me??' Talk about arrested development... he cant see an inch beyond himself. I dont know why this still floors me. Hang in there!!! - Dru
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Newlywed55...true...it is interesting to watch reality set in.
Bob...I agree. He has way too much time to write me and my family. If he was so happy with his french s&$t then he would leave me alone. My Mom is planning on writing him an email letting him know that they know all about whathe's been doing and they support me in every way. He has always respected my Mom's opinion so he will be blasted when he gets her letter.
Drucilla....I guess you're right. He really hasn't gotten what he wanted. I can tell in all his letters that he's fighting for everyone to agree with him and think what he did was right. It's really sad.
Me 35 STBX 39 Dear son 9 Married...15 years (Jan. 20, 1990) D-Day July 20, 2004. Divorcing! What goes around comes around
Sometimes we have to hold our head high, blink back the tears and say GOOD-BYE
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I am so sorry girl! Yep, me too, mine is being a [censored] (love it!) also... guess this too will pass, eh?
Isn't it weird how *they* seem to be the one who is not letting go?! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />
BW, 33 WH 36
Md 14.5 yrs
DD13, DS11, DD4
Tired of counting d-days, D proceeding 7/05
"Pride can break a man right down from iron.
Twist him 'round 'round and tatter up a soul
Handprint of God on the small of my back
my second chance, my second chance.
I'll bend a knee my friend, I'll bend a knee...
Lay It Down say it's all my fault, all my fault.
Say I believe, I believe lay it down.
This the hour of my healing, of my healing,
yeah my heart, my heart redeemed."
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What a jerk! Your STBX is doing his darned-ist to justify the chaos he's caused. Your parents need to write something back besides, "don't contact us". Mind you, not that he will actually read or understand it. His happiness has a high cost and a heavy penalty. Walking away from a marriage and a family is not courageous. Working on a relationship is courageous. Facing your demons is courageous. People with integrity do not blow off their families or have more than one relationship at a time. A person with integrity would say "I have caused a great deal of pain." They would own up to it. They would accept that these actions would cause the BS to feel negative. This guy is beyond la-la land.
Got a new tool name for him: toilet brush
Grapes are versatile. Grapes can be sour, sweet, sublime as wine and fabulous even when old and dried out.
Me: BS XCH: Clueless 2-DS: Bigger than me 1-DD: Now also bigger than me!
5/6: Personally served CH with divorce papers 6/6: CH F? wants to time to see if M can be saved 7/6: FCH reenters our lives to work on marriage but secretly signs papers to start divorce...what's that about? Mediation set for November Final dissolution in January 2007. 2008 and beyond: Life goes on...
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Tree,
In regards to your parents writing back to your STBXH, don't bother. As a young boy I was told, by a very wise friend, a piece of very valuable advice.
NEVER ARGUE WITH A FOOL
Divorced: "Never shelter anyone from the realities of their decisions": Noodle
You believe easily what you hope for ernestly
Infidelity does not kill marriages, the lying does
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My WW has done the same type thing. I wonder if she is doing it in order to get my family to tell me to just get the D over with and stop fighting for the M. They dont believe any of the revisionist history that she espouses in her rambling emails. The last one she sent was in response to me sending her the piece about the "Purpose Driven Marriage." She accused me of harassing her. Uh huh. Riiiiight!, is pretty much what everyone said.
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If fighting for an honorable cause is harassment, then send me my no contact orders please <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Me 20 WW 20 Friends since: December 10, 1999 Began Dating: October 29, 2003 Married Feb 13, 2004 D-Day: July 28, 2005 Separated since: June 9, 2005 Now in Plan B - headed for D. Praying on God's guidance and support
But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.
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Actually, I think there may be method in his madness.
I think he is trying to push Tree into exploding and going off the deep end. She is not responding in the way he wants her to, so he has resorted to desperate means.
OK, here's my take on it. Could it be that he is thinking this way, or am I all wet?
In his warped mind, he may think that by sending these emails (which he may plan to use in court), he is establishing himself as a caring, kind, well-balanced individual who is only "concerned" for the well-being of his crazy, mean, vindictive, and abusive wife. He may think that by presenting these letters to the judge, he may sway the judge into deciding that Cameron would be better off with his "kind, loving father" instead of his "bitter and crazed mother".
Hold fast, Tree....do not respond to his craziness. Always have a smile on your face. Be careful about who you vent to in real life...you don't want to have him and his lawyer twist your words around to support their claims.
And, Tree, watch yourself. Don't risk being caught alone. He sounds delusional enough to try something physical....and maybe claim that you are violent or claim that you tried to (or did) commit suicide. Be very careful.
I just think that he wants Cameron all to himself...and, however delusional his "plan" may be, I think all these crazy emails are part of it.
"Your actions are so loud that I can't hear a word you're saying!"
BW M 44 yrs to still-foggy but now-faithful WH. What/how I post=my biz. Report any perceived violations to the Mods.
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There is definitely a method to the madness of these fogged individuals. A twisted method no doubt. They just arent living under the same colored sky that the rest of the sane world is living under. Fox, exactly my point. My WW said in the email that if I sent her anything else like that she was going to contact her atty. Hmmm.....maybe I will send something else just so that she will do that. Then maybe her atty will throw up his hands with the knowledge that he is representing someone that is as delusional as she is. I would love to see her try and trot out that email in court as evidence as to how mean and vindictive I am. Seriously though folks, this behavior on the part of our WS's just shows me how much influence the enemy has over them. Everything in there world is turned upside down and where right is normally right it is now wrong in their eyes and vice versa. These folks are to be pitied for what they have become and need prayers. We have to be able to love the unlovable right now.
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I think Lady Clueless isnt so clueless...
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/ooo.gif" alt="" />
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Can you begin to imagine how miserable the french poodle (a not so nice way to get around using a not so nice name) has to be listening to his ranting and raving about Tree's life and how she's living it... The guilt is eating this man alive and he's doing his best to rid his life of it. I think he thinks if he can convince the world what a noble act he made in leaving his wife, then that will alieviate the guilt that is eating his soul alive. What baffles me is his family who participates in his insanity. Why tell a child details about adult issues?
Tree don't participate in helping him get rid of the guilt by acting in a non-noble way. He's wanting to bring you down to his level and has stooped to including your family in the process. There needs to be no response to this e-mail. It'll drive him wild. Do you think he's checking his e-mail constantly waiting on a response? I do.
Fifi's got to be miserable. I would be. He's not moving on with their life together because he can't seem, no matter how many times he declares he has, to move on. He's so delusional that it seems in house intense counseling is in order.
Give your atty a copy of the e-mail but don't respond. It is so crazy, no response is necessary.
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I agree with all of you. I don't have much time to respond to all of you right now but just wanted to say thank you for the support!!!!!!!
Me 35 STBX 39 Dear son 9 Married...15 years (Jan. 20, 1990) D-Day July 20, 2004. Divorcing! What goes around comes around
Sometimes we have to hold our head high, blink back the tears and say GOOD-BYE
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jph...had to say real quick that I was dying laughing when I read what you called the OW. Fifi....yep that's the frenchie! LOL!!!!! Thanks for the laugh~~~
Me 35 STBX 39 Dear son 9 Married...15 years (Jan. 20, 1990) D-Day July 20, 2004. Divorcing! What goes around comes around
Sometimes we have to hold our head high, blink back the tears and say GOOD-BYE
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hey!
watch it now - I had a french poodle named Fifi once (no joke) - she was so blind by the time she died that she would ran up and down the kitchen, down the hallway fullspeed, and into the closet door at the end over and over; always followed by the same loud "Crash" when she reached the end of the hall.
Maybe Fifi is a more fitting name for your fogged up WS in this situation :P
Last edited by Fox0r; 06/30/05 08:13 PM.
Me 20 WW 20 Friends since: December 10, 1999 Began Dating: October 29, 2003 Married Feb 13, 2004 D-Day: July 28, 2005 Separated since: June 9, 2005 Now in Plan B - headed for D. Praying on God's guidance and support
But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.
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