After our weekly knockdown and my appolgy, w and I had 2 long talks. The first was at her apartment(and I didn't have a problem). We just sort of talked about the problems in our marriage(besides the obvious one).<BR>She then called tonite, talked to the kids and then asked for me(thats the first shes sone that too in a long while). We talked in generalities about what went wrong in the marriage, how we got to this point.<BR>She did briefly bring up joint counseling for us. <BR>Her big fear is that I don't change, mine is the that she won't change. <BR>I guess we're both overlooking that we both need to change for ourselves and not wait for the other to change.<BR>I just plan to take things slowly. She going away for a few days next week so maybe she can get her head clear. She didn't mention the divorce papers today as she had in a earlier week talks.

RWD - <P>Dude...that's great!!! As I recall, your W had the divorce papers drawn up and was ready to pull the trigger when something happened. I hope and pray that this good, civil conversation is just the first of many, many more to come.<P>I take a special interest in your story because it is very close to mine. I just hope that my W will stop the out-of-control freight train before it reaches the station.<P>God bless you RWD!

RWD<P>Fantastic news.<BR>As you already know, the most important thing in a relationship is the ability to talk to each other, openly and honestly.<P>Make sure you don't Love Bust, Blaming, criticising, being judgemental, bad tone of voice.<P>Listen! Listen! Listen!<BR>Let your wife open up to you and do your best job of truly caring and listening.<P>Your on the right track, but remember, patience is important.<P>"The lure of the distant and difficult is deceptive. The great opportunity is where you are" John Burroughs<P>"The past cannot be changed, the future is still in your power" Hugh White

Shattered1 and M Go Blue,<BR>Thanks for your support. I am pretty good at listening although the guy thing of fixing what ever it is gets in the way.<BR>Shattered, our stories do seem close, especially after today w told me that om promised her "things" like no yard work, smaller house, and trips any time she wanted. It seems that our life together was dull and this guy was promising her the stars and the moon and she went for it. Went reality set in he ran, probably that will happen with your w and her om. These things seldom work out. Hang in there and keep praying. I found out everytime I tried to handle something, it blew up in my face, but if I turned it over to the Lord, it somehow all worked out.<BR>God Bless!

RWD - Hey, talking civilly with your W is a MAJOR accomplishment! I know. Sounds like there's now a LOT of hope for your marriage. Also, if your W is talking about counseling, I think you should pick up on that. It might help a lot. A good (I stress the word GOOD) counselor can help you both change in the ways you need to do to heal your marriage. Regards and blessings,<P>--Wex

WAY TO GO -----RWD!!!!!!<P>You know what to do - just take it slow, like you said and start doing what you can to not overlook those needed changes.<P>HUGS and Prayers for you both!!<P>Sheba

RWD,<P>Steve Harley told me my Wife (he talked to her once) thinks that history will repeat itself. Meaning I won’t change in any way & if I do, it’s only temporary.<P>You have to make the necessary changes and make sure you don’t fall back into your old ways. Ask your Wife for help in this (maybe not at this point yet) Let her know you are working on your behaviors, but you’re not perfect & it’ll take some time, but you are truly committed to changing.<P>------------------<BR>Prayers & God Bless!<BR>Chris<BR>For relationship info check out <A HREF="http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html" TARGET=_blank>www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html</A> <BR>