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Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 500
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I was willing to share custody with my WS, but her recent behavior has me concerned. The OM's girlfriend claims my WW was following her, and that she was trying to maintain contacti with OM even after he said he didn't want to. Finally, the day after we had a long conversation about staying together, she broke the NC agreement outright and met the OM at a afterwork social. She claims she got closure, I say she betrayed me again and showed that her word is no good and that she is morally bankrupt. Other things, she got an STD during her affair and blamed me.

Do I have a chance of getting custody of my daughter? What do you think? It's not fair. A betrayed wife can take a guy to the cleaners, but a husband has no recourse but to stay and take it or file for a divorce and if you're lucky see you kid half the time.

Joined: Feb 2002
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Both parents get custody, what you are talking about is sole custody. And the primary reason a parent can't see their kids is due to abuse.

Shared parenting is the norm, it's the distribution of time that's at issue. Not whether you get custody.


It was a marriage that never really started.
H: Conflict Avoider, NPD No communication skills (Confirmed by MC) Me: Enabler
Sep'd 12/01, D'd 08/03.
My joys and the light of my life: DD 11, DD 9
*Approach life and situations from the point of love - not from fear.*
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Would my wife's behavior have any effect on the distribution of time? I am probably more of the "caretaker" for my daughter. I take her to the doctor, drop her off at school, leave work if she is sick, etc . . .

Joined: Feb 2005
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Grove,

Look at my sig for your answer.

I have full custody, she has limited visitation.

Stand firm and do not waver if you want custody. Not for revenge but because you are the better parent.

I did, it worked.

Last edited by RebornMan; 07/01/05 07:22 PM.

"Who are you" said the Caterpillar
This was not an encouraging opening for a conversation.

Alice replied, rather shyly, "I--I hardly know, sir, just at present...At least I know who I WAS when I got up this morning, but I think I must have been changed several times since then."
Joined: Jun 2005
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Grove, I agree with REBORN; once you decide that divorce is the way to go, go with it with a focus like you've never had before. Search out the best lawyer you can afford, most will work with you on costs, go to court and listen to word of mouth. File first; You are a good parent, she may be, but you are too. Stand firmly behind the great priviledge and happiness of your children and do what you think is right. My WS guilts me all the time about how I am not and cannot be a good parent. Crap - my kids wait up at night to see me when I return. Hug them, kiss them, and tell them you love them, work for them not for the WS. You can get custody, and custody is hard. You have to sacrifice your freedom to care for your kids. Do it! I am trying to and I don't have any regrets about my freedom. Good things will come.


M 9 Yrs WS W BS H DD 1 month Still in contact D filing
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Grove,

besides Rebornman's, also read Mortaman's sitch for custody issues or just ask him. If you check out Gramm's sitch, Mortaman refers him to a book on custody for dads. You may want to check it out.

Also, document, document everything.

Joined: Feb 2005
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Here some's stuff I posted on another thread about this and some resources that will help

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/sho...;page=0#2707248

RM


"Who are you" said the Caterpillar
This was not an encouraging opening for a conversation.

Alice replied, rather shyly, "I--I hardly know, sir, just at present...At least I know who I WAS when I got up this morning, but I think I must have been changed several times since then."
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 500
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Thanks everyone. I'm heading to the attorney next Tuesday to file.

I just got another whammy from my wife's little "non-physical" affair. I've been diagnosed with genital warts!!!! She actually says that she didn't have sex with him so she doesn't know how she got them.

Isn't life just full of surprises!! I was going to say s#!+!!

Oh well, this kind of sealed the deal with the divorce.


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