I am only a few weeks from delivery, so I don't think it makes sense to try Plan B at this time. I know people suggested it in the past, and I couldn't seem to do it. H and I get along for the most part, and I just didn't see how it was really possible while I was pregnant. H is working around here getting things ready for the baby etc... He is still affectionate w/ me and calls me frequently. He is here most nights (or at his apt.).

He says he is not seeing OW. I know they still talk on the phone. It frequently is about OC, but I'm not stupid enough to believe it is all about OC. A few weeks ago OW told H she wanted to be w/ him again. He told her no, she had made her choice to be w/ her boyfriend a while back. Since then, she has stepped up her efforts. Her and the boyfriend have broken up and she calls me H for every little thing concerning OC.

I know that H could tell her no, and he does at times. However, he has gone to a Dr. appt. w/ her, he's watched OC one time so OW could get some work done (at OW's house), and he went by on Father's day and OC's birthday. These are the things I have a difficult time with.

It does help to have H here and have him help me w/ things. We still discuss divorce when the baby is born. I feel like he gives me mixed messages though. He is nicer to me now than he ever has been most of the time. He is very excited about the baby and I do want to share this with him.

However, everytime I can't get a hold of him I freak out. I automatically assume he's w/ OW. He's told me prior to him going to OW's every time that I know of. But still I can't help but feel I am obsessing about things, and I don't know how to stop. I'm driving myself nuts!

How do I get through the next few months until I can file for divorce?

Hiya Wife30. For me, it's God.

One night a man had a dream. He dreamed
he was walking along the beach with the LORD.

Across the sky flashed scenes from his life.
For each scene he noticed two sets of
footprints in the sand: one belonging
to him, and the other to the LORD.

When the last scene of his life flashed before him,
he looked back at the footprints in the sand.

He noticed that many times along the path of
his life there was only one set of footprints.

He also noticed that it happened at the very
lowest and saddest times in his life.

This really bothered him and he
questioned the LORD about it:

"LORD, you said that once I decided to follow
you, you'd walk with me all the way.
But I have noticed that during the most
troublesome times in my life,
there is only one set of footprints.
I don't understand why when
I needed you most you would leave me."

The LORD replied:

"My beloved, my precious child,
I love you and I would never leave you.
During your times of trial and suffering,
when you see only one set of footprints,
it was then that I carried you."

Let's pray for us both.

Excellent campdog! just excellent!

Wife30,
These are my thoughts ... I've been wanting to write to you for a while (sorry, I haven't done it before) ... Sometimes I see so much of my situation in yours ..

I only did Plan B for three weeks and it was very very hard for me ... I don't think it was anything for xH ... who knows ... since after those three weeks it was when he finally decided to go to IC and we started dating a couple of weeks after that ... was it those three weeks in Plan B? I don't know ... all I know is that it was really really hard ...

With a baby coming soon ... and you and your H getting along pretty good ... I do not see a need for you to go in Plan B ... you are going to need his help with the new baby ...
From here, I do see hopes for you and H ... it might take a while but I think there are still hopes for reconciliation for you. Of course I'm not expert or anything ... nor do I have a crystal ball ... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />
At the least you will have a good relationship with H to have good co-parenting with your baby.


It is good that he's being open with you about whatever OW says to him ...


Just wait until your baby is born ... she will turn very irrational, as you said before territorial, she will start to compare and count the minutes your H spends with your child against her own child ... hang on tight, this will be another mini-roller-coaster <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />


I totally can relate ... xH spent Father's day with DD and me but tomorrow is OC's birthday .. well, it is today, but OW is going to celebrate it tomorrow ... xH is going to take DD to the BDay ... of course I was not invited ...
Yes, these are the things that I have a difficult time with. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />


I do think he is sending you mixed messages too ... xH and I have a better relationship now than ever ... and he wants to share every little thing about DD ... not the same with OC ...



Same here <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

Now, this is the part that I wanted to share with you the most ... Sometimes people think about divorce as closure ... you are divorced ... the pain will go away and everything will be bright and shiny ...
Not really ... it will inflict more pain to you ... (beware of post-partum depression please!) ... you are officially separating your life from your H's ... this division is painful ... at least for me it was ... it made me think that people that go through a divorce without pain, like nothing happened, do not really loved each other <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />
It is true that being divorced, have taken away a lot of pressure from OW's/OC's situation but not all ... especially if you still love your H and if he loves you back ...

In the meantime ... God is carrying you (and your baby) ... enjoy the feeling of having a little person growing inside you, enjoy your baby ... every second of it ... if your H wants to be part of that ... let him, if not .. remember ... God is carrying you!

Wife,

It would be worth the money to call the MB counseling line and set up an app! Forgive me for being frank, but your guy has two chicks on a leash and probably loving it (what guy wouldn't?).

In MB language, you need a serious Plan A (woo him back) or serious Plan B (make him chose and set firm boundaries). The counselors could tell you which.

What's going on right now is very wishy-washy and would make any sane person CRAZY!

Hang in there, Lady. Your baby needs you
J
mom of 3, stepmom of 1
7 years of recovery, Thank God.

God!
And if your husband is around oc in ow presence you should be there, If you & H stand together on this ow will get the point,(it does take time and patience though)
If ow doesn't like it too bad she should of though of that when getting involved w/ mm.
Put it all in God's hand's HE WILL TAKE CARE OF IT ALL.