Hi everyone....haven't posted in a while. Thought things here were going okay, but......

I just found two pre-paid phone cards in WH's wallet.

I'm all shaking and upset now. What does he have these for?

And what now do I do?

K

Well..in my book they stand for contact. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" /> I would ask him directly, WH I found these in your wallet can you tell me what they are for?

This is exactly what I think. (They look like they have been well used)

WH has no other reason to have them. He has two cell phone (one work, the other personal).

I really need to calm down now, so that I can ask him. Of course, I do no expect the truth.

If he ever travels - it is cheapest to buy a prepaid phone card from Sams and pay something like 2.3 cents a minute, rather than the buck a minute that the hotel charges. It is even cheaper, unless you have unlimited long distance, to use it at home.

But that is just data - others here will be able to help you interpret. FF seems right on.

Thanks, Foundareason.....

I believe FF is right on, too.

I am so sick of the lies. I am so tired. I just found some things out today and am sick to my stomach. I just feel like I am worn out and he can do what ever he wants from now on and he better not ask me where I am or who I am doing.

This is the whole thing for me now too....the lies.

I don't even think the whole A thing bothers me as much as the lies.

It's almost like a game......unfortunately, there is no winner. I think if WH wants OW too, then he can have her. I no longer care.

I'm sick unto death of the whole game.

hi k <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Gosh I'm glad to hear from you! I check every couple days to see if you've posted and how you're doing.

Sorry about the phone cards k. There could be a reasonable explanation (I've bought my kids phone cards to use while they're away) but using phone cards is pretty common for A partners. If you asked him, no matter what he answered, how could you know for sure?

Is there a way you could use up all his minutes, and then see if he complained to you about getting minutes/hours ripped off by the card?

Other than the phone card, how's it been going?

why would anyone use phone cards when they have a cell phone? My cell phone has 900 free minutes a month and I never pay for calls.

k72:

How have you been doing? I wondered why we have not heard from you. I hope you are "recovering" personally.

There is NO need for me to comment on the phone cards situation. YOU ALREADY KNOW THE ANSWER TO THAT QUESTION.


Take care,

LM

K,
I feel so sad reading this................

Try to calm down and then have a "good" talk with him.

take care and please keep us updated.

I'm truely feeling with you.
bb

BB:

I am just curious, but could you be so kind and tell me what you meant by "good talk" with him. Besides K confronting the Wayward in a non-confrontational manner, in what ways would one accomplish a "good talk" if the circumstances are what they ARE in K's situation?

I am honestly not trying to be a smart a$$ here, I am just deathly curious as to what the "good talk" is, and more importantly supposed to accomplish given the entire scope of K's situation. Thank you in advance for your thoughts.

LM

K,

I like Lemon have wondered how you were doing too, and why the long silence.

I am so sorry. Nasty business we are in, that's for sure.

I'ld like to say it shouldn't hurt so much this time, but I know differently.

Keep us posted and post as you need to post.

We are all here for you.

Thanks for all the replies.

I told WH that I was putting the cash he had left out back in his wallet, and found two phone cards. What was he using them for?

He didn't get defensive, or mad. He said he got the one when he was up camping with the guys a few months ago (there is no cell service there at all).

The other one (the obviously used one-the other looks unused) he got out of his wallet and looked at and said "I honestly do not know where this one came from. I have never seen it before. Honestly, and I know you don't believe me, I have never seen this one before."

I asked why he didn't use the one calling card to call me while he was camping? He would call collect, and I would not accept, then call the pay phone back using my cell.

He said he just got it because he thought he might need it while he was up there with no cell coverage.

Do I trust him? NO!!!!!!!! Do I believe him? NO!!!!!!!!!!

I also asked him if he had seen or spoken to OW. He said he has only said hello to her in passing when he was at the office a couple of times.

Outside interpretation would be appreciated (like I've said before, I'm too close to the situation to get a clear picture).

As for my personal recovery, I'm doing great. Working a lot, and my own interests are coming back to life. Even hooked up with a good friend of mine and went to town yesterday, and shopped, and laughed, and shopped some more.

A large part of my heart seems dead, though. Is that normal?

Thanks to all, I've really missed coming here. Guess I'll have to remedy that!

K <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

I do not think that you really need "outside" interpretation here K. You are a smart woman. You have heard this song before and danced this dance before. This is business as usual for you and him.

I wish there was some other conclusion one could draw for you. Even the zealous of zeals cannot "spin" this.

Perhaps I am wrong.

Happy 4th of July. Hope you spend it with good supportive family.

Sourmale

Thanks LM....

Same song and dance.

I called the one phone card that he "owns" up to. It only has 130 minutes left on it. Out of 300. He's been calling someone a lot from a pay phone. Yes, I know who.

Now for the confrontation..............

K:

Your in even bigger trouble than I thought IF He's still using lines like "that's not mine" & the topper -- I have NO IDEA where that came from!

Well, ...LIKE ... who's wallet is THIS then??

Yea, strangers are swiping his wallet, slipping in still "charged" phone cards and then sliding his wallet back to its resting spot <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />(like his jacket or pocket).

Good Grief!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

So now as a result, your going to have YET Again, One More "confrontation".

AND????????

What will that prove / solve / help? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

Won't you just go right back to the "pattern" you 2 have with one another?
(The comfortable song and dance; if you will).

I almost would rather just see you let this go.
I mean why get things all in an "uproar" when it won't change anything long term anyway.

Why even get into all that unneeded aggravation and grief?

I mean Unless, something is actually going to Really Change from this, I don't even see the point. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />
Sorry, just how I see it.

For most posters I'd be screaming for a Head on Challenge.

But in this case, <shrugs shoulders>
I mean <sigh> whats ya gonna do? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

K, I'm really really extremely sorry for you .......(that your STILL letting this continue). <shakes head> I truly mean that in a totally non sarcastic manner.

And I think sourmale is right.
YOU "SEE" things just Fine.
Your just having some difficulty in ADMITTING what you see to Yourself.

Hoping you find a way out of the prison your in! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/ooo.gif" alt="" />

Lemon,
what I meant with a "good talk" is exactly what K ended up doing. She confronted her husband.
She talked without fighting and now she should of gotten the info that she needed.
bb

K,

The other one (the obviously used one-the other looks unused) he got out of his wallet and looked at and said "I honestly do not know where this one came from. I have never seen it before. Honestly, and I know you don't believe me, I have never seen this one before."




I think this tells you what your next step has to be.............
Why in the world would he NOT know where this came from and why would he never of seen it before......it's his wallet, isn't it!!!!!

I'm sorry to say but these are the words of a "BIG FAT LYER"!!! ( I know you know this!!!! K!!!!!!) <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />


bb

Thanks Top Rope and BB......

Yes, WH is a LIAR!!!!! And no doubt about it.

And you are right TR. Why give myself the aggravation and grief. I know what I have found and what I think it is......and I know that I am right.

Ever since I confronted WH yesterday, he has been very affectionate and loving.

I, on the other hand, feel nothing - either for him or the situation. I think I'm finally through.

Considering the ducks in a row, we first have to get thru the wedding of our son at the end of this month. I want this to go very smoothly for my son's sake. (This is a very BIG consideration for me - one of my children is finally getting married).

Then, the final confrontation. I'm done. Finished. I believe there is little or no love left in my heart for WH. Truly, I am much happier on my own.

I do not want to continue a life of lies, deceit, and suspicion. I have lots of other plans for myself. And they don't include any of the afore mentioned states of being.

He's truly an addict. He might as well be a "crack head".

He cannot shake himself free.

K