first know I am sick about all this. I have two threads already explaining the situation on "Emotional Needs" and "Just Found Out" i know it was at least an EA if not a PA. I have no proof and I may never get any.

I'm reading a little bit more and I'm confused about exposure. Am I to expose it anyway? I have been holding on to this as a trump card. To the girl's mother and to his close friend who cares about him.

I don't know if all contact has stopped, all texting has stopped but there are other ways to communicate. He's also being such a [censored] I am wondering if he's in withdrawel. All this time I'm hanging on feeling sick and waiting for bad news. I just have bad feelings.

Should I keep pressure on him to know where he is and what he is doing? Should I check up on him discreetly but enough for him to know he's watching? He wants to go diving on Sunday with a guy I've never met, obviously I can't go. I can however drive down there and make my presence known. Should I call this guy's house and see if he went diving?

I am kind of at a loss and since I am waiting I don't know what else to do its freaking me out. I think he will bolt if I push too hard. Or does it matter. If he bolts he's slitting his own throat.

I haven't gotten a firm commitment to move forward yet, either.

as you can tell, I'm pretty confused. I thought I was supposed to give him a chance to make the break himself. Is that wrong or not. He doesn't yet seem remorseful or even has a ken of what kind of seriousness this is, he thinks its no big deal and denys any improper conduct (which I don't believe)

I would check up on him until you find out what he is doing. Can you hire a P.I.? How do you think he comminucates with her?

Disclaimer" I have not read the whole story in the other sections.

Well, it is my opinion, that you should "lay low" untill you get proof. You are talking hogwash when you say "I have no proof and I may never get any". If a Wayward is cheating, THEY WILL ALWAYS GET CAUGHT EVENTUALLY. You have to remain diligent. When you have proof, EXPOSE immidiately to the OP's wife and them move out in the family circle from there. Threatning to expose does NOT have near the POWER of just exposure without warning.

A big part of your belief that "you may never get proof" likely has something to do with your subconscious denial of this all. That is ok, we all experience this. You may not be "getting" the "proof" because deep down inside you don't truly "want to know". I understand this phenemenon all too well.

SOurmale, MD