Hello,

This is a first post but I have done a lot of reading. My situation is like most here. My WS has moved out is in withdrawal, has said I Love you, but Im not in love with you. I am not surprised because I made a lot of mistakes in our 4 year marriage, the last year being pretty bad. I didnt meet her emotional needs and now she has an EA with a co/worker. She says that they are just friends and does not have to do what i say. I still love her very much and am trying plan A.

The thing is im confused. Plan A is about showing alot of thoughtfulness and affection with boundries. Yet as long as the affair is going on Love deposits will not count right or wrong. I am not saing I love you anymore, or that ive changed, or try to teach her. She is still ok with being friends and talking and seeing each other so that is hope that gets me through the day.

I am not suppose to be the source of her unhappiness, so I dont bring up my mistakes right? I am not suppose to show affection either because it makes me look needy? But how do I fulfill her emotional needs when affection and thoughtfulness is what shes wanted? Help on Plan A