I know the lack of affection is expected, but just needed to vent. There was a long period of time when I didn't want my H to touch me or show me affection as I was going through some strong feelings of anger towards him as a result of a physical situation I was going through.

Now I long for his touch and need his attention, but OW is still in his mind. How do you get over that feeling of being so lonely and the need for human touch? My WH stood it from me for so long before my lack of meeting some of his EN's created the atmosphere for an A.

We have moments of intimacy that have given me enough to carry me through for a week or so. Should I just cherish those times and hope that the next time comes sooner? I have never been much of an initiator at all, but have certainly taken more of a role lately.

Just the touch of a hand brings me much happiness.

We had a nice day today and WH said he really enjoyed our day. That should mean so much to me, and it does. Night time is just so hard for me and I feel the loneliness inside me growing stronger as the night grows darker.

Each day brings improvement in our situation, but I am so eager to have this all behind us. I grow impatient and discouraged, longing for his words of love again.

I have not been praying strongly the past day or so and I can tell.

WH told me last night that I looked young, it made me feel better. I told him that "It was because I was feeling better lately."

I know I have rambled on, just my thoughts.....

Thanks!

Kim
D-Day, May 14th
Married 13 years

I am totally feeling how you are right now. I hope the best for you. I am an affectionate person and definetly need the human touch.

here here i am with you am feeling it tonight as i sit alone again.

I feel you. I am still in plan A and it is very sad. I feel like I am the one doing the right thing, but everyone else is still getting laid. I know you meant Affection and not SF, but I just feel that way right now.

Good to know I am not alone!!! I knew I wasn't, but it's good to hear from you all......I know I could use SF if I truly wanted & "seduce" WH, but that wouldn't mean too much to me(except for that WH was with me and not OW although the A is only an EA). I long for WH to look into my eyes the way he used to.........

Looks like we are in this together! I have read some of your stories....We have to keep Plan A strong, right?

Kim

I think that if I could seduce my WW I would. She is very resistant to anything in that direction (from me anyway). It is very sad that I would give in if she wanted to. But I have needs <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />. MAN PLAN A SUCKS SOMETIMES. We'll make it though.

Well, things have improved just a bit for me in this arena....good sign. WH came up behind me this morning & hugged me. Yesterday he was looking at me while I had my swimsuit on....

Don't Know Much, just keep strong with Plan A. I think the lack of intimacy is more difficult on most men than women. You can do it! I tell my WH that I need him and DS needs him. We are his family and we can work through this!

Kim

i have started dating again after nearly a year...it isnt the same ...i am sure it will be but i do miss the xww...i was home alone tonight also , but by choice.....

Today is her birthday. It is really hard. I'm officially going nuts. I really hope I get some help tomorrow (first IC session for me).

DNM -

Just saw your post....Hope you held up o.k. today. It is hard to hold onto your sanity sometimes. Just yesterday I found myself standing in the closet crying, and muttering "I hate him" over and over. I really don't hate him, but at the moment I was hurting so badly that what I hated in my life and marriage equaled him. After a good bout of crying, I composed myself, went downstairs and gathered the family to go watch fireworks.

Keep posting here & letting all of these great people help guide you through all of this!!! I know they have helped me so much.

You can do this! Let me know how IC goes. My WH had one today.....

Blessings,

Kim