Is it normal to miss your STBX? I find myself at times missing him when I do things that we used to enjoy doing together. I find myself missing him at night when I just want to feel someone next to me in bed. Is this normal?

I also find myself really hurting because he's with someone else, someone who he claimed to never ever be attracted to and would never ever hook up with. It bothers me to see them together, actually hurts.

Are all these feelings normal? Or am I just weird and lonely?

As I read over your post I realized that it could be me writing it, so if you are weird and lonely so am I. But I think that it is normal. This was the guy that you spent years with. He was apart of everything in your life, so how couldn't you miss him. I miss my STBX quite often and it hurts sooooo bad when I think of him with his GF. So far I have not had to see them together, but I know that it would tear me up inside. For me it also hurts that he has moved on so quickly. I know that I am lonely and envious that he has someone to do things with. So what scares me sometimes is do I really miss him or do I just miss having someone to be apart of my life? someone to cuddle with and make me feel special. I know that I love my STBX very deeply so I think that I will always miss things about him. I just hope the deep pain that I am feeling will fade. Good luck to you.

I'm glad I'm not alone. There is a part of me that will always love my STBX. Right now at times I feel like I'd give my right arm to feel him hold me, make love to me...just be there with me. That's not a possibility.

It's hard to admit that I hurt so bad seeing him with someone else. After all I am the one that had the A, no matter how I've tried to explain, there was never enough information for him. Bottom line, the A was a mistake, I was looking for something that I was not getting from my H (no it was not love, sex or anything like that), sex was always good with my STBX. I was never important enought to my H, never a priority, never mattered, I looked elsewhere to matter. Wrong thing to do. No matter what I say my explanations are not enough, so this is where we are.

He's with someone that he claimed to not be interested in, I feel that it gets flaunted in my face and he's proud of the fact that he's with someone and I'm not. I may be reading it all wrong, but that's the way it comes across. I don't want him to know how lonely and hurt I really am, it would only make me look like a fool, which he probably thinks I am anyhow.

Thanks Luckystar for your input.

I miss the "old H" that I used to know and love...esp when I see things that trigger me back to ahppier days or when I am awake in the wee hours...

I think this is normal... how can you spend years with someone as a partner and friend and NOT miss them sometimes?

And yes, even now, I have the moments where I miss SF and intimacy with him... it was always good in my mind, so I miss that the most some days! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

I kinda think that missing you STBXH is normal. Why wouldn't it be. My STBXW says she misses me sometimes and will be hurt when she sees me with another woman. She plans to live close by same town when we separate. For me I have to have space. What makes it easier for me is the X says that our entire marriage of 9 years was wrong; now that the hurt is gone, since her A, she sees me differently as a good man, and just wants to be friends. I miss all the things we had (but in her mind didn't), conversation, companionship, shared future, etc... I keep it to myself and share here. One day at a time.