I would like to request some help from some of you.
My H is the BS and I would like to know what I can do to encourage him to talk. What do I ask? What do I say? Unfortunelty i need a LOT of ideas because there are many a day that he feels like I walk around trying to hurt and offend him no matter what I say or do. There was a suggestion made to me today from a new set of friends that was: "without losing your temper, try to get him to talk"

Uh huh.....I didnt know I lost my temper when he tried tot alk to me. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> I do plan to ask him If that is how he views me in a conversation <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> Goodness....perhaps i view myself just a tad bit different than he does? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> Anyway....anyone that can offer some suggestions....especially the BS's.....I would greatly appreciate it.

Ding Ding....round 3 effort to make this survive.

for a bit of info to you: He isnt much willing TO TALK about anything. He has all of his pain bottled up with lots of anger and bitterness. I hadnt given it much thot to the fact that I am not a safe person for him to open up to..(lights are on no one home?) <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> There is no trust....so why should he want to discuss anything deeper than the weather?

Help?!

Does he need to talk about anything? Has he expressed an interest in talking? If so, why wouldn't he just contact a counselor or a close friend?

You might not like hearing what he has to say.

Are you open to whatever is on his mind?

He might not have anything pleasant to say ... is that a conversation you would also welcome?

How much counseling have the 2 of you gone through?

Pep <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

As a twice (+) BS I can say that he is probably not a very happy man these days... he obviously is angry and he has every right to be!

Maybe you need to do some talking... like talking about how sorry you are and how you KNOW you have made a mess but that you will do anything to make it up to him... something like that would have spoken VOLUMES to me in the past!!

When was the last d-day for this last A?

For my own thoughts, why on earth would you do it again knowing the pain and destruction an A causes?

I agree, IC asnd MC in order and I think there must be alot of genuine effort on your part to move things forward here... no matter what he says or thinks right now, the work should start with you... not just when he says "ok" but right now!