Ok, here goes, WH arrived on the 26th.The day had arrived and it was not so great. It was DS 5th B-day and OW already had tried/DID ruin it by saying lies, of course she must have been very upset knowing WH would be with me and family. Well its been a week and I have confronted him with out even knowing it. I got drunk last wed to a point that I blacked out, he said I struck him and told him off , in words he never imagined but did admit he deserved every bit of it. We made up I guess and talked about alot but not to a conclusion. WH admitted that if he can have both women he would be happy that way. WTH a cake eater!
Anyways these last two days have been quite NO LBS from me but she's been sending him IM's and I know its making him think about her more of course. What should I do/ There are still so many unanswered ?'s

first of all.....there is a MOAJOR boundry issue here...you need to lay down the ground rules for him....no and I mean NO contact with ow at all period end of story....he must write a no contact letter and give it to you to read and ok and you should send it not him.....then he will go through with drawl sounds like OW is an evil witch she will try dirty underhanded deeds. He should also give you his cell phone and allow you access to his email and voicemail and any other way she could contact him. Start there...he must agree to this...it is not good for your family to allow this home wrecker to continue to pull this man away from his family....

OW is showing her true unstable colors. Let her. U take care of yourself and your family. Identify and implement your boundaries. R U ready for plan B?

Call Steve H @ MB to get a plan.

As for the WS settline for 2 women to fawn over him, that's the norm for a WS. Mine said the same thing. I showed him the door and removed myself from his list. He was flabbergasted. Didn't matter. My boundary required I not be part of a harem.

LOL!!

L.

L.

ORCHID: I totally understand and just said " you want both? well you know what I wish u the best with her! B/C I am not going to be apart of that threesome."
For now its been ok doing the pretending thing for the sake of the children, they have no clue nor would they accept it. WH says he'd do anything for his family and wouldnt leave his family and supposedly made it clear to OW, that he never would.
WH is hurting now and is surprised that I stuck to my word I wasnt going to throw his A in his face(NO LBS) he didnt think I was capable of it but now hes realizing it.
Our DS 5 is going into a depression from WH/DH (deployed husbands) absence and its killing him inside(WH). He is trying to put this front towards everyone and I clearly told him its hurting him more that way. Its like he cant talk to me anymore, I told him how I felt and he apologized that he should of told me his feelings before not last night ( we cried together and he asked for forgivines for his actions, that his front he's been doing isnt because of her but that its going to hurt him leaving us/me again for another 6 mos.
Again thank you for anyones input. Would plan B be for us at the moment, knowing hes still going back to her for another 6 mos while in delpoyment?

The plans A & B are for the BS. Can you continue in plan A until he is deployed?

L.

YES, I can but is it worth it. I mean Im getting the AHEM" but there is no intamacy it seems like im just there! Like he's doing it do keep a string to his heart but thats IT! He im's her while hes here and tells her hes only has a few days left till hes back like he misses her and doesnt give a damn about US! ME? WTH! Im his wife and it all seems like a joke to him! Is this supposed to happen through Plan A? I can do another 6 mos of this, we plan to sell the house and move out of here, but he's admitted that hes afraid of change? Is that why hes trying to keep me , knowing there will never be anyone willing to accept his drinking, his bad behaviors, etc.?

U don't really sound like you can last in plan A with his continued disrespect.

Can you call Steve H @ MB for some phone counseling and get a good plan outlined for you?

L.