Chaster, are you a believer?

I never said there was a good reason for downloading child porn - its absolutely disgusting. But I also think calling the cops on someone without even thinking twice is really unfair; there are a ton of good people out there with weird fetishes (and NO im not defending looking at that stuff) but is sending someone to jail for looking at something they aren't acting out really right...? Even if it is sick - there are other sick things out there people don't get sent to jail for.

Like I said - professional help really seems like something he needs, but do you really think being sent to jail is going to rehabilitate someone in this situation? Being thrown into a prison with sex offenders who would do Lord knows what to the guy is unjust punishment IMHO.

At this point he has you involved too. If you don't call, then you may find yourself explaining why you didn't call the police to turn over the disks. Let the police sort out everything. You don't have to tell them anything. All you have to do is say what you saw, hand them the disks and leave it at that.

This is not something you can 'talk' to him about. Go to the police.

No... I have no religion..... but I love my husband to peices... I just want to give him the benefit of a doubt... I want to work this out.

Just because someone watches a video of a shooting for example doesn't make them a murderer...but if you feel like your kids are in danger; then by all means call the police. If your husband was MAKING the child porn - then I'd understand. Who says he even was the one that downloaded it? Do other people use his computer? There are a ton of ramifications that make this situation really bad - calling the cops before even getting advice on this seems like a rash decision imo.

But chaster, this is not between you and him. He has done something seriously sick, KWIM? Do you have a counselor or someone you trust that you can hand the disks over to that will call the police for you?

Fox, I understand what you are saying but I do not see that calling the police is unjust. This man needs help and now they have a small child in the house.

If you assist him by covering for him when you know what he is doing, you have become an accessory.

You can NOT work out your marriage while an accessory to his perverted, criminal behavior.

And tell me, why on earth would you work it out with a man that you will NEVER be able to leave your child alone with ever again?

it is definitely his... just me, the baby and him that live here. I cannot bring myself to call the police... my marriage will be completely over.

That's an extremely valid point. If downloading of these images is traced to your computer and that is discovered then you may be in for a rude awakening.

For the protection of yourself and your child, I say call the police. I'd hate to see you protect him only to have him manipulate the system at some point and they take away your child.

If all he has done is downloaded them to the computer, then more than likely by voluntarily turning them over he can plea out for treatment. But if something happens later on and he is caught, then he goes to jail. The best action would be to stop his problem now.

Is your marriage more important than the safety of your child?

chaster, think about this please...if your H is or is on his way to becoming a pedophile not only are you risking your own child but your friends or neighbors kids are at risk. do you want that on you?

I think I'm just going to shut my mouth. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

Chaster....

My feeling is you at least owe your husband the benefit of the doubt to explain why he has those discs. Yes, it is illegal...damaging...threatening etc. But before you call the law, confront him first. Explain why/how you came across them...and then wait and see what his response is. You said you've only been married a year? Is this correct? And is the child both of yours? How long have you known him?

Once he has offered up his explanation, you can then plan the next step. You might want to see a professional counselor or something, and I would in no way dismiss this if he just tries to sluff it off. But I would suggest you talk to him first.

And just so you know, the IP address is traced on these forums.....at least it use to be. I'm sure someone can verify that.

I don't know anymore... this is really bad.

I too think calling the police is to harsh at this point.
There is no reason for having these pics, I agree. But, save the disks, confront husband, listen to his side first. You can always call the police. But once you call the police, they will have to follow up on it, and it will ruin his life FOREVER!!!.

Bramblerose, I agree this should be an option, but one shouldn't destroy a life of someone else based on quick judgement. She can still go to the police after she TALKS with him. If infact there is a problem, go to a pshyciatrist first. If he refuses, then do the police route, but don't ruin a mans life with out talking to him and a professional first.


You can never take it back after the first call. never!!

Please do not rush to this. The police will always be there.
If your husband is taken in, it will affect you and the child forever as well. It is not your fault, and I do not support child porn. It is sick, but, to many people are destroyed with out having a chance to try to fix the problem. Please, Please think before you turn your husband in.!!!

But as a recovering sex addict, and working with sex addicts, I can tell you the first response will be DENIAL that he knows anything about those disks.

Chaster, if you decide to confront him first, please put the disk in a safe place before you do. Do not allow him to destroy the evidence. I will keep you and your precious child in my prayers.