Has a dna test been done? In most states once dna is done the child is no longer illegitimte therefore no lomger a ++++++**(d

Whatif where did you find that law at? please show me the statute.

My family embraces the word because we have all supported my aunt and cuz with that showing in her legal papers. We make it a normal part of speech, Like "oh another B******, will it kill ya to get married first " LOL

We all say it in reference to any illegit children born for about 3 decades now. I have spoken to many family law lawyers over the years and have not heard that once so please show me where you found it.

lemonman, by the way i love lemons.
anyway back to the point

I do not post anywhere but here, I only want to speak with BS that share my experiences as my tagline states.

Lemonman I did not react for over a year to her directly. I am sorry do not know your situation but, it is hard to try to reconcile and forget about someone when they wont stop contacting you. I went the legal way to take the pressure of myself but guess what I have to go to the police station and make reports ALL the time, it tiring. I have let so much go unreported because I did not want to go through that again. Because then i have to file a motion to show cause and go to court blah blah. Its a real pain and costs me money only to have nothing done.

I must say I am not affected as much as I was by her words. I was pretty much indifferent to them for a while there. I really think my pregnancy is making me a mess again.
If I even put some of her words in here from her last email most of the other BS would prob volunteer to help me get her back. She is really a pig, and talks badly about and threatens my children. Nothing is off limits to the person. I have had my say and am quite satisfied with what I said to her that she must hate me forever.

I just am sick of her constantly sending things to my home and reminding my children of her and the adultry. I also feel she is disrespecting my home. She sends things to my fathers home as well. She calls my fathers home and says bad things. So you see the woman is ruthless. I can only take so much , I really thought I was over it (indifferent)to the psycho thats why i am trying to see if its the pregnancy or I am just really sick of her not stopping and not paying for her actions.

Thank you Cali and trying I really appreciate that.

Fair enough, I don't think that you being "sick" of the psycho piece of trash is abnormal at all, but you should then fully realize that a woman this "psycho" is NOT going to back down when you escalate the conflict.

She has already lost your Wayward Husband as a lover and father to her child, She has umpteen warrants out for her arrest, she has probably no real friends or reputation in this life. SO, do you really think that your understandbale need to "fight back" is going to back her off or give you justice? You on the other hand have ALOT more to lose than her. She obviously does not care about herself or her children, and you obvisouly do.

You better realize that the risks for you are GREATER than her. If you escalate the conflict with this woman, you and your family better be ready for the consequences. I am not saying that this is right, but just letting you see it from a different persepctive..........someone who has NO emotional issues surronding this type of situation.

I fully realize that you want ONLY BS dealing with a OC to answer (read as you want FULL agreement with your opinions only).

Can I ask you to talk about what your WAYWARD husband is doing to earn back your trust and doing to ease the utter devestation to yoru children. This is NOT his first affair, so what is different as you go for round three with him? Is he paying child support? Has he acknowleged his role in this, or has he blamed the OW for everyting b/c she didn't get the abortion he asked he to get. Why did you take your WH back? Your initial posts here don't explain that. If it was NOT for your unplanned pregnancy would you be still "married" to this man you call your husband?

I ask you these questions to learn more about you and your situation. Maybe taking the emphasis off the OW and how she is making yor life miserable may help. If you don't want to answer the questions and keep the focus on the OW and how miserable she is making your life, then be my guest.....whatever works for you is good. There is no doubt plenty of "support" here for that.

Now, I am certainly no BS with an OC fathered by my husband, but depsite that, I can perhaps offer you a different POV. Take it or leave it. It is A-ok with me.

BOL,

Sour..... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

"I fully realize that you want ONLY BS dealing with a OC to answer (read as you want FULL agreement with your opinions only)."

OK who would not want everyone to agree with them? LOL but that is not exactly TRUE ...I only want someone who has sat where I sat/ stood in my shoes/ felt my pain to help me along.
I really feel that a marriage counselor or therapist or drug counselor that has gone through what you have and can REALLY understand what you are going through. I can describe to a T most of the feelings a woman that has just found out about her H adultery or betrayal is going through.. I have done so for friends others.
We all try different stages and so forth throughtout our recovery... and really only Myself or another BS will understand the somewhat crazy things that run through your mind and heart. That is all I am saying with that not that I know that they will agree with me but they will understand and even my own friend has contact with her ex H OC when he wont even acknoledge the child or pay support. She had gone through all of this before myself and she has a more compasionate approach, mainly because the OW in her situation another exfriend of mine Is not really a threat to her or her family.

Well my H did what he could at the time... to alleviate the stress and put my mine at ease. He did put forth a great effort despite the fact that he could not control the xow and her antics.

Then I felt like I could not get over it so we seperated.... We had a short seperation then i felt the pressure of the kids falling apart mentally and physically... we started to make an attempt to get them back together. It is a very long story but We attempted our own little reconciliation for a while there and now I am pregnant. I am sorry for any WS that has a psycho xop that will not let the marriage heal.... mainly because anything the XOW does in my situation makes me really feel HATE towards my husband and thus pushing him away.

Whatif? you didnt answer my question.
My H is going to court for DNA CS ect. next month again.

[quoteI am sorry for any WS that has a psycho xop that will not let the marriage heal.... mainly because anything the XOW does in my situation makes me really feel HATE towards my husband and thus pushing him away.

[/quote]

There is the crux of your issue. The OW is a psycho, but you still give far too much power to her, and I HAVE TO truly wonder if the "issues" you are having in letting the marriage "heal" have more to do with unresolved issues with your cheating WH than the OW whom you clearly attribute ALL of your troubles to. The fact is your WH is 100% responsible for introducing this pycho into your life. He has cheated on you once, which you freely admitted was devestating. You are back with him now all for different reasons that you saying you "trust" him or "believe" he can be the man you think he can be. Your defense of him ofcourse had the qualifier of him doing things to "ease" your mind but he could not control the OW.

I ask you again, is the WH paying child support? What have your families said about this? Where does your "recovery" stand?

I almost feel that you don't want to answer these questions because continuing to hate the OW and blame her for all of you and your Wh troubles is probably easier than facing the issues about your Wayward.

This is just my opinion, and you undoubtedly may disagree.

Sour... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

http://www.delcode.state.de.us/title13/c013/sc01/index.htm#TopOfPage


I hope that worked I am bad at this stuff, I found similar laws on just about every state i looked up. I fit didn't work it says

A child conceived out of wedlock SHALL BE LEGITIMATE if the parents shall marry before the birth of the child or they marry after adjuidication OR ACKNOWLEGMENT OF PARENTAGE AFTER THE BIRTH OF CHILD, OR UPON ACKNOWLEDMENT OF THE PATERNITY MADE IN WRITING BY THE PARENTS IF BOTH ARE LIVING, or by the father if the mother is not living and filed in the office of Vital Statistics according to 804 of this title 3121 of Tiltle 16(Delaware law)

Wow, and I just thought it meant your folks didn't marry prior to birth! (perhaps that's the "moral" meaning) I never heard of illigitimacy put to law or in this way before.

Fascinating. Thanks

the law is left to interpretation. I spoke to one of the law students...

In my state the father has to sign and acknoledgement of paternity. That is the only way.

The Dna test does help the judge order support but it is still up the the man to sign it.

Cordelia, what state do you live in?

THe AOP just bypasses the DNA test. It's the same difference.

I am not saying this coldly, but why is it so important to you that the child be illegitimate? The child and you are the innocent parties in this mess. Leagally the child will have the rights your children do if your husband dies for example the oc will collect the same amount of social security the children of birth do .. I am just curious does it make it easier to heal the marriage to believe the oc is illegitimate( I am not asking that as a smartass I am just trying to figure out where you ming set is)

I believe it makes it easier for her to blame the OC and OW rather than blame her own WH for doing this. Illelgitimate or not, that child is YOUR husbands baby. Your children's sibling. And yes, that CHILD will get a % of your H inheritence when he dies.

When the child is old enough to understand this, are you going to call it a B to its face? Are you going to refer to it as illegitimate the rest of it's life? Labeling it? If that is the case, then are you calling your H a cheater and philanderer?

Stop putting all the blame on the OC and the OW. Why do you let her get to you so much. Just ignore her. And if your marriage is strong enough, then it wont make a difference what she does. It all falls down to what YOUR H does. Can he resist the temptation?

The oc will not get any inheritance if the couple states so in their will. We have left oc $1.00 and explain that while we are aware the oc exists, we do not plan on leaving him anything, as that is intended to go OUR children. That way there is no doubt.

I am a firm believer in no contact. None. Everyone takes a piece of the hurt pie and moves on. I am also a firm believer in strong pit bull attorneys to keep the ow from stalking and harrassing any family. SHE choses to bring a child into the world with no chance at a normal life. That is her cross to bear. These women have no problem toying with another woman and her children, they sit back and say things like "it was his vow" and whatever. So when they are left alone, with a child, clearly unwanted and ignored they go nuts. Then blame the wife????? Yet they had no qualms about participating in hurting a family? But they think the wife should put he oc needs above hers and her own children??? They hypocrisy is simply stunning. So, fight back.

GET A GOOD ATTORNEY and go after her. Keep everything and talk to a good one. You don't have to have her caught "red handed". A preponderance of evidence is enough to get going. I am all for burying these women with legal documents to the point of our ow would have to leave a restaurant if we came in. She was hauled into court so many times for having the nerve to try and force her child into our family. She learned the hard way that we were serious. She has leins against her home and one time had to leave a high school athletic event that we were at,as the RO against her wouldn't allow her to be there if we were. So her actions cost her alot. She may win a few battles in the beginning (child support, insurance) but in the end they lose the war. The law will look out for you too. Speak to an attorney. When we proved our nutcase was harrassing us, she was fined by the courts and was told she had to leave public venues if we arrived, and she was also forced to pay our legal fees. Her behavior has cost her plenty. When she ends up losing her home, and our attorney firm owns it, wonder how she will feel then? Not only that, but it was satisfying to hear the judge blast her in court and how he understood "her kind".

Fight back. But always do it legally.

Interesting Lynn, I just went through this with xmm's attorney. HE informed his client (xmm) that his estate is not exempt to oc. That whatever he owes it comes from his estate and his wife has to pay it. HIS attorney explained this to both of us. I'm sure though since your oc is 18 you have nothing to worry about though.

I doubt she'll loose her house to your attorney, she will just have to pay the debt to have the lein removed to sell it, or have the lein paid through escrow. They CAN lein her house, however they can not take her house. She could also refinance and pay the lein off. How silly of her to keep that lein on when she can easily have it removed. Maybe she needs a pitbull attorney. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

I do disagree with you Lynn. Not all ow's go crazy when there father show no interest and then blame the wife. Yes I have seen a few. Bottom line is no matter what the case senerio is, it's the child's father who makes his decissions and if a father wants to see his child that bad, he would not care what wife, sister or anyone says.

Legal documents are great. Just remember for every legal document filed, there is a retractable document to file. So becare you can follow through with it if your going to file it, and you have the proof to back it up. I think your ow lynn was a scared puppy with you though. I personally called xmm's attorney bluff every step of the way and (he had the best in town) and I won at every step he took. Truth is truth and prove of truth is a godsend.

Well, this is the crux of the issue. Not much to say though. Cordelia has her reasons for not addressing the situation....she knows in her heart what the issue is. We all do. Everything eventually comes to the surface, whether we want it or not. That is just life.

Sour... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Mary, there is no way an oc could demand money from the estate if they are not left anything but one dollar. Heck, I could leave my own children out of the estate if I wanted. There is NO LAW that says a child has to be left a thing. We could leave everything to our dog if we wanted.

As far as CS, (the only thing that ow seen to care about anyway) who cares. It is a given. So concede, and then make moves to protect $$ from leaving the home in the future.

But as far as the will goes, sorry, you are wrong. It is why it is so vital that everyone has one. You can state your wishes. We don't wish to leave oc a thing so we clearly state it in the will. Like I said, I can leave it all to my dog and have an attorney hire a caretaker. Happens all the time.

As far as ow losing her home, well, she is in foreclosure right now. She could sell it, she could refinance, but she needs all the equity she can get to buy another. Since our attorneys have her at 18% interest, that is growing fast! She has tried to refinance, but no go with the leins against it. To bad, so sad for her. She keeps asking the attorneys to drop it, since it is "old" but they say no way. Why should she get a break? She would have had us in court if she didn't get her child support. We followed the law to the letter, she didn't. Her problem.

Mary, I find it amusing that you are all offended by the word "*******" Yet you have no qualms about having a child with a married man?? You state how "most" people have a hard time with the word "*******" which I do agree with. But your views of what most people think seem twisted. A "word" is wrong, offensive, etc. But being an ow, getting pregnant and then forcing a family to deal with the mistake is all ok???? Seems hypocritical.

Actually Whatif I wanted to use that in my aunts situation to tell her that my cuz was legit since there was a dna test done. I wasnt really refering to the OC.

My attorney told me the same thing that LYNN stated up there. NO inheritance for the oc at all because my husband has stated in his life insurance and his parents wills that the only children to get money from anything were mine. the only thing that the oc can get is Social Security if my H dies while CS is still owed.

Damn I missed you Lynng lol How have you been?