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Appropriate to tell OMs W at this point?
#1418338 07/05/05 01:17 PM
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mflake
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mflake
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WW ended a 4 month A in late March. She told me about a month ago that it had turned physical at the end, where previously she had lied about that. (I got the crying/apologetic/save the marriage breakdown later, which is good). We are in MC and individual therapy.

Should I inform the OMs wife of the extent of their A? She knew it was an EA when it ended but I don't know if she's aware of the physical.

Appreciate your help and shared experiences, I've learned a lot reading here.
Re: Appropriate to tell OMs W at this point?
mflake #1418339 07/05/05 01:48 PM
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Sparks, Nevada, USA
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Bryanp Offline
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Hello,

Let me put it this way: If the roles were reversed wouldn't you want to be informed that your spouse was involved in a sexual affair also. It is the right thing to do.
Re: Appropriate to tell OMs W at this point?
Bryanp #1418340 07/05/05 01:50 PM
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mflake
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Yes, I've thought of that angle. I'm just having trouble digging it up after NC has been in effect for 2 months now and my wife has been making huge strides.

Guess I'm afraid it would lead to a setback.
Re: Appropriate to tell OMs W at this point?
mflake #1418341 07/05/05 02:42 PM
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A setback would be the OM's W not knowing the truth, don't you think? Are you worried about setbacks for your relationship or OM's? If there's NC, it wouldn't affect your relationship. THEY, however, won't be out of the fog enough until she knows the full extent of the A, to start healing.

I never thought I'd want to know, but it was necessary.
Re: Appropriate to tell OMs W at this point?
CamoKnightsWife #1418342 07/05/05 02:52 PM
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mflake
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Thanks- I could really care less about the OMs relationship with his wife, but I would feel sorry for his kids.

Jeez, I'm not good at this kind of stuff...

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