It's truly simple,

1) you can make an anonyous call & ask for best advice.

2) you can drop off your hard drive to the child protection unit

3) Choices .... the clincher, this is not an adult with consenting adult affair. Child abuse is child abuse <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

Are you saying that as a CRIMINAL he "DESERVES" the opportunity to be informed that the police are being called? Is that truly what you are saying? Why? So that he has the opportunity to sweet talk his way out of it, destroy evidence, become violent, or make a run for the border?

If this dude was your neighbor and you had young children would you want the wife confront the guy with full knowledge that it could then go unreported or would you want her to call the po-po...?

TRA,



Point taken. I agree.

A chance to What exactly???????

LO - in order to rehabilitate a criminal who's crime is derived from an addiction, you have to come to accept that there can be no rehabilitation for many who pass beyond the point of no return - when self-destruction becomes the will to take as many down that path of destruction with you as possible.

That's what is so evil about child porn. This is no longer "just" an addiction, because those who end up participating to feed the addict cannot make a senscient choice to decline participation. Then it becomes a disease - innocent frequently becoming perpetrator, just like AIDS gets spread to the unsuspecting. It is a soul-killer as well as a physical killer.

Recovery is only possible for the person/perpetrator who fights with every fiber of their being to find a power greater than themselves to be healed; and walk a path that is clearly marked to becoming clean that way. It's hard work and cannot be walked casually.

LO - it's hard for us in society to accept that there are some who cannot be healed "by society". And then it becomes society's responsibility to protect the innocent, and simply lock away those who cannot stop harming others. We must stop the spread of this disease. We cannot simply be disgusted by it. That's why the passionate responses to those who say hesitate - wait... find out more...

Porn addiction is to deviant sex, rape, child molestation, and every other step leading to murder, as marijuana is to heroin, distribution, and every other step leading to murder. Not everybody who experiments with marijuana goes further. Not every porn viewer becomes a child rapist/murderer. But one does not become so desensitized to life, without walking down these paths through the gateway drugs first.

Exactly my point! You already have him tried and convincted! I am not saying that a criminal deserves the right to be informed that the police are being called!

I am saying that as a HUSBAND, and if it were MY marriage, I would certainly be interested to hear what he had to say - lie or no, before I made a decision.

Why not help this lady by offering her options??? Why not help her by explaining to her the possible ramifications of the options? Why not direct her to someone who is an expert and could truly offer her some real assistance instead of firing off judgements and opinions?

I, nor Patriot, never said it should go unreported. How about weighing some options before making a decision?

I remember a poster from years back who found kiddie porn on her H's brother's pc...she was at his house on Thanksgiving and was checking her email and stumbled upon it. She posted and got advice..and it was to the tune of "turn him in". She did...she called the FBI...and she was questioned. She was concerned about keeping it from her H..so she told him. He felt like he needed to give his brother a chance to explain so he confronted him. WOW...can you say BURN THE PC? Which is exactly what he did...the FBI had the charred remains of it as evidence.

I happen to think that people who wait to call the police til they get their stories straight are attempting to hide something.

committed

Oh - and KA, you may want to read MY response to Chasten. I've been through this myself. There are always different outcomes. This is a very real situation. It deserves careful consideration. The most important thing is that the child be protected if ANY possibility of potential abuse exists. Regardless, there are several ways of handling this and it is very serious and all options should be carefully explored.

There is actually NO argument.

Possession is a crime.

There are NO excuses for possession of Child Pornography.

Since children are in need of almost everything, they can only spend a peaceful and joyful childhood when they have our solidarity and care.


We must not fail them.

You would be singing a different tune if it were YOUR child that was on that disk. If YOUR child had possibly been abducted and being molested on a daily basis in order to give these animals their sexual fix. YOU would be wanting this man drawn and quartered if it helped the police find YOUR child.

You would be screaming "screw that marriage"....I want MY CHILD protected and back home with me.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />

Know what is right regardless of what side of the situation you are on.

committed

Committed...

Who are you speaking to here?

*** Please keep this discussion respectful. ~Sage

Her child WAS molested. Do you not read? She already knows full well what she would do if it were her child.

Because she has. Now, if you will please check yourself out of the conversation, you would be doing us all a favor.

You don't call yourself a gentleman do you patriot?

Why would you call me a name? Have I been rude to you?

committed

adding...Just because I clicked the last link I saw doesn't mean I am addressing the person. Forgive me for not paying closer attention to that frozen...and thank you for simply asking instead of calling me such a crude name. That was certainly ugly. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

I have reported this to the mods. Way out of line, patriot. It detracts from your credibility when you call names.

So Patriot, ************edit********- or am I missing something here?

Nevermind. Patriot - crude foul language tells me more about you than... well. ************
Froz - who perped? Patriot? Ex? Were you groomed by the perp to protect his secret? Or did the mother in you rise to the occasion and slap the perp's fanny in jail?

KA,

See how easy it is to jump to conclusions?

out of line? I step in harshly to protect my wife when someone says something, knowingly or not, that is extremely offensive?? Like she hasn't been there? If you have read anything about the topic that started THIS thread, then you know what Froz has had to deal with in regards to thie very issue.

And then to treat her like she has no idea what it would be like... as though to use it as reasoning for why she would say such things??

Fine, report me to the mods. I wonder where the fine protector or me was when I was being called an ***** dude. Is that not some personal attack? Or was it worded JUST softly enough not to evoke a response from you?

Or... did I just blow it off and try to focus on why someone would see something I said a certain way?

And as far as gentleman? Sure, I try to be a gentleman. But when I feel the need to protect my wife, then wrath for the agressor. And that is that.

KA,

Those comments are equally as insulting. I will no longer participate in this conversation. It has moved from a sharing of thoughts and ideas to being downright insulting. How DARE you insinuate what YOU have just insinuated, merely because I suggested that this lady explore her options before reacting.

I will no longer respond to ANYTHING you have to say.

OK here's the problems I see with this process.

#1. A crime has already been committed and the images are already possessed. By possessing them and not turning them over immediately she is taking a risk. Not only a risk of harm to her child, other children, etc., but I person risk that somehow she will be linked to these images.

#2 Look at the dynamics of the situation. If you go back and read the posters 1st post, you'll get a better understanding of the situation. Mr. Husband is the head of this household and dominates it on all fronts. The poster is young, scared, and impressionable. I'd be willing to wager that if she confronts without having a back-up plan or already blowing the whistle that the likely outcomes of this situation are not plesant. I spent several years as a foster parent seeing the exact results of what happens when a wife or a husband chooses not to do the right thing or gets bully'd into shutting up or gets manipulated. Actually, I'd venture to bet that if he came clean with her and promised he'd stop, she'd let him off the hook.

At this point, if I were to err, I would err on the side of safety for the poster, the child, the other children, and my neighbor...

It seems to me that committed's post was very general in nature and not addressing anyone in particular.

It seems to me the real ******* here is patriot for jumping to such a conclusion.

Note that when you 'reply' or 'quick reply' it references the last post in the cue. Most posters, when addressing someone in particular will address them by name. I don't see that as the case here which would lead me to believe that the post was general in nature.

"You" could be replaced with "One" or "A person" or any number of substitutions.