Pat 92:

As uncool as this is too say (and not that you care), ****************edit**********. While I have no doubt that you think that the child pornography is disgusting, etc...I can not ignore the very likely possibility that your advice of "lets see what he has to say about this " is some kind of displacment of your own actions and behavior in your own life. Please read between the lines, I am NOT saying that you condone or would ever involve yourself in child porn. Without even realizing it, you are identifying with the perpetrator here. There have been serious laws broken JUST based on what the poster told us, and you are in a round about way trying to have the original poster lessen the possible consequences for this action.

You may mean well, but you are rationlaizing all of this and the extremely serious nature of this. There is no other conclusion that I can come to after reading your thoughts on this.

Could I be wrong about you, maybe, but it won't be the 1st time, nor the last.

With all due respect, Bramblerose knocked you and your arguments straight to the floor.

TKO !!!

Sour...........

I guess I missed that movie. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

If it doesn't have John Wayne or James Stewart in it...it's a western that ain't worth watchin'.

Thanks for explaining.

committed

This is where a woman sets an appropriate boundary:

She confronts her husband; she lets him know that he can call the police, or she will.

If she knows he's a safe person and won't kill her to conceal the evidence because he knows child porn is a crime that requires prison time, then she can do this kind of boundary.

But since she no longer knows what kind of person he is, can she take this chance?

BTW, Patriot - there's a father in Idaho who'd probably like to wring your neck on this debate. Child porn is a gateway to child molestation and some pervert just got caught with his 8 year old daughter and his 9 year old son is no where to be found...

Who do you think you are kidding to think that Chasten's situation has anything to do with marriage building at this point? Harley himself told me PERSONALLY that you cannot recover a marriage until the addiction is resolved.

People scoff at the idea that porn is harmful... They, like you think it's disgusting. But the law says this particular type of porn is beyond misdimeanor-illegal! You can and will likely do prison time for possessing it; and can and will pay a penalty for concealing such a person's activities from the law.

I may be way off base here but we had a BS whose H did child pornography and was reported to the police. In fact he even molested a young baby sitter.

Who turned him in? His W (the BS). When did she do this? After she found it on his computer and other evidence.

He also was a WS who left his pregnant W during the birth of their twin sons to go be with the OW.

They also lost a chlid the previous year.

It may be interesting to know what she would have to say about this convo.

L.

I know some have said give the guy a chance to explain, but what is there to explain:

Oh, I'm holding those for a friend.
Oh, I didn't know I copied those to disk.
Oh, I forgot what I had on there and meant to erase them.
Oh, that...uh..
Oh, it must be someone elses, can't be mine.
Oh, um, sure it's not yours.
Oh, maybe someone snuck it in the house and planted it.

She said they had to be his and no one elses, I'm sure she knows who has access to the desk drawer. So how do you explain having child porn other than you got caught?

I want to go back to the kitchen example, wife holding knife, bloody body on the floor. I think Patriot said he would ask his wife what happened first, but let me ask, do you hide the body or do you call and report it? I would call and report it. So even if I ask my wife what happened, I'm still picking up the phone and calling the police. I don't want to be an accessory to a cover up of something illegal, even if it is my wife. I love her dearly, but sometimes you have to face the consequences.

Okay, enough already with this attack!!!!!

I don't know what you guys are trying to convince Patriot of...that child pornography is wrong, frightening, scary, and probably the tip of the iceberg of underlying things or red flags of others????

When did he say that wasn't true????

He didn't, and he isn't minimizing it!

He simply said that this guy, as a SPOUSE, deserved the opportunity to be informed that the police were being called.

What if there REALLY is a plausible explanation? There may not be...but on the off chance that there is...a barrage of people here have advised this woman to turn her husband in to the police without even informing him or confronting him first.

All Patriot said was that he should be informed of what is going on and given the chance to explain, lie, tell the truth, or whatever...

He never said that it shouldn't be reported. I believe the basis of his argument was:

Keep a cool head. Think things through before you react and just pick up the phone. At LEAST say "What the heck is this or SOMETHING, before you are so quick to just assume and pick up the phone and call the police on your spouse!

What if it were you? What if you had an explanation???? I realize that may not be the case here, but there is always a possibility. What if it WERE YOU and the police showed up at your door, and your spouse hadn't even taken the time to ASK you about it???

What does it hurt to confront him and THEN call the police?

Why do you need to attack someone for having an opinion or imply that he in some way is minimizing or supporting child pornography?

Geez, I hope you guys are never a jury of MY peers should I find myself falsely accused of ANYTHING!

so LAY OFF!

Okay I've heard enough her to vomit then to stand up a be an adult.

I am sickened to my core that any THINKING person would consider it okay to be involved weither viewing or otherwise Child pornography.

That is rape! RAPE! RAPE! RAPE!

There are no & should not be (is that judgemental enought for you?) 'nice' or 'easy' ways to address a person who considers Child Abuse - the act of looking at a child being abused entertaining.

Contacting the Police is not an option it is ESSENTIAL.

I have read on this thread only that the files where DOWNLOADED - That is A PURPOSEFUL ACTION - that take a mediocre of intelligence, it is NOT merely a mistake.

What has the individual's wife got to lose or gain from NOT taken ACTION.

The fear that as her own child/children grow that perhaps not her own husband who sickly enjoys veiwing children in sexual torture may or maynot use them, or that one of his adult friends might???? that never again can a child be left alone with that person?????

This is a risk NOT worth taking. Would you leave a loaded gun on the kitchen counter too????


Tell me please at what level is your brain that it permits a man's selfish distructive child endangering mental illness to come ahead of the welfare of the child.

Are we to believe that the children viewed were there by their own choice??? Get real.

There is no defence for any adult who purposefully degrades & dehumanising an innocent dependent child.

Childhood is a right. Child protection is your duty.

Ktulu available to help.

This is NOT Gentle, delicate or caring for the Adult, this is truly about protection of innocent children.

As for this family falling apart......a what cost to the children should it stay together????

If the said 'man' is innocent - then reporting to the correct authorities will prove that. As a loving father would he not do the same for his own children if he found similiar???? I would like to think yes.

Knowledge without action is as bad as saying I'm cool with that dear. Get a grip. Investigate, educate & protect.

Nothing, no one can say makes child porn ok.

Froz - Pat has to concede - not you!

And he has very much implied that the police should not be called - that she doesn't know enough. Legally he has nothing to stand on with this statement, and in fact, is encouraging an action that could lead to the wife being physically harmed, or at the very least, lied to.

Mark Hacking killed his wife for less! His wife had no clue what kind of a man he was until 48 hours before she died.

Let's take a different example, 2 lbs pure grade heroin and you find it in the closet of your house.

If the police raid the house while you have it in your possession you go to jail, because you have not called and reported it. Your child gets taken in by child welfare while you sit in jail.

Now do you just wait to sit and talk?

CONCEDE???? Who is conceding? What is there to concede? That child pornography should be reported to the police? I agree!!!! HE AGREES!!!!



Patriot said:



This is EXACTLY what he is talking about. You made the judgement that he said the police should not be called. You were incorrect.

And RealArt, as for your heroin analogy, I once had a friend's mother call the police and turn her in for having cocaine. Her daughter went to jail...as it turns out, it was powdered sugar. How do you suppose that relationship was damaged after that?

This is a marriage...Patriot is simply saying to think things through before you jump on here and post to someone to automatically jump to conclusions before you advice someone to do something that could destroy their marriage. This is a serious situation and deserves more thought than someone advising someone else to react immediately, rather than think things through and make a rational decision.

As for the immorality of this, well, that differs from person to person. In some people's eye's, bdsm is immoral. so you cannot dictate your morals onto someone else.

well duh....

Of course some people are not going to think it is immoral...that's the people that are quite possibly DOING it.

So, a child molester thinks that what he is doing is not immoral...and society cannot dictate morals to him...hmmm...thoughts to ponder huh? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Where is that dumbstruck and AGHAST icon?

committed

I had the exact same reaction, committed. DEAR LORD.

Froz - what kind of conclusion does your good sense say there could be? I'd love to see what other rational "reasons" there could be for child porn being in her house.

Child porn in the house = no marriage, no children. Do not pass GO, do not collect $200. Game over!

I get your point about the sugar, but the pictures she has is not pictures of cats and dogs, they are of children. So she already has the illegal material sitting in her home. She has already posted on an open forum, where her IP address is captured, and it's just a matter of someone on this board informing the FBI and them obtaining a search warrant and knocking on their door at this point. If they walk into her house and find the photos and she still has them in her possession she can be in just about as much trouble as her husband.

I'm just trying to get that point across. She needs to react fast enough to prevent any problems she may encounter legally. She can give her husband a chance, but she can't give him a long chance at this point.

Too much emotional reasoning going on here. Nothing more to be gained that I can see.

Just a morsel for thought...

What is the purpose of punishment if not to help the perpetrator?

Oh - and Patriot/Frozen - you may want to read my response to Chasten - I've been through this with two dear friends. Two completely different outcomes.

The marriage is out of Chasten's hands - it's up to her husband to own up and do the right thing as to whether her marriage has a chance; but with a small baby in the home, she will likely NEVER be able to live with him until that child is grown. Let's see if his love and caring for his family can overcome his stupidity and addiction - even if it takes that long. One of my friends has a husband who has that sense of making things right, no matter what it takes, how long it takes.

BTW, I doubt Chasten will be back to tell us what happened - too many people encouraging her to let him explain himself, excuse himself, etc. before she takes legal action. Those disks will disappear. The police will never see. And a child porn viewer takes another step to the dark side... with an enabler by his side, with the perfect victim in her arms...

Having worked as a reporter, covering the crime beat, interviewing child predators, I know this path having been told straight by the perps themselves.

The dept of corrections is not there to rehabilitate her husband. They are there to punish crimes. It is up to him to use his time to use the resources that are made available to him to rehabilitate himself. Those who don't, become repeat offenders - like Mr. Duncan, rotting in an Idaho prison cell right now, a cell like which he should have never left in North Dakota!

I have to agree with KaylaAndy, the department of corrections is not about rehabilitation when it comes to sexual offenders, its about punishment. It is why there are so many repeat offenders.

Simple -

Child porn viewer = Adult who enjoys children being injured beyond humane scope.

Q? What part of humanity says we must give the person who does 'that' wheither for personal use or further distribution the right to NOT be callenged by someone who can genuinely face up to them without fear ie. the police.

Hello????

I'm still trying to figure out the purpose of this thread.

It seems that both pat an BR have an opinion, both are passionate about it and both have explained quite well why they feel the way that they do.

There are a few here who have experience in this area and those opinion's should count for something, the rest of us are just making it more difficult for chaster to find them on her thread.
Before our respective spouse's A's, how many of us said we would drop our spouses like a hot potatoe/potato if they had an A, probably a majority. Well most of us didn't, because until it happened, we had no idea how we would react in that situation.

I agree that this situation looks, sounds, and walks like a duck and that she should seek answers from someone who can guide her. Could she make a call anonymously to any of the organizations cited here and they would in turn call the police?

God Bless,

Doug

So again I ask...what is the difference between punishing a crime and rehabilitating the offender? What SHOULD the objective of the corrections system be?

If punishment does not have the effect of deterring future acts by the perpetrator, it is wholly ineffective. We know the simple incarceration doesn't deter pedophiles from future incidents. Society will only be protected from a pedophile by 1) execution, 2) life imprisonment, or 3) lifelong treatment and followup.

We could argue that the first two options would effective for any crime, but then we have to get into that sticky "cruel and unusual punishment" business. It would be so much easier if we did it Stalin's way, wouldn't it?

It would appear that option 3 would be advantageous to all, assuming the offender is properly tracked. However, recent events in Florida indicate that this is easier said than done. Leaving option 2.