This Friday will be the first time to a session for me and my h. Can anyone tell me what I should do to be prepared and make the most of our time there?

The 1st question I would ask you is if he is still involved in the affair?

If he is...then go here: http://www.wish.org/ and please donate dollar for dollar everything you waste on the "marriage counseling". This way, AT LEAST someone benefits from this because it surely will NOT be you.

If he has volunatarily stopped the affair and established NC with the OW, then I would say you should continue to pursue this question and await more responses from the more enlightened posters here (hint: not me).

BOL,

Sour..............

Thanks!~!!!!!!!!!

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I wish there was a more "polite" way to say it to you. But most here (not all) and even those who see their Waywards as "roses" when they are in FACT heaping piles of cow dung would probably agree.

Finding a marriage counselor who is "qualified" and able to help a marriage truly recover is hard enough in this life, add to this a spouse who is not 100% committed and still cheating and I say....fugettt about it.

There is no need to sugarcoat this for you. This is not to say that you can't win your Wayward back though. Statistically speaking, his chance of having his affair last is about as probable as me leading a regional Steve Harley Marriage Building Principles fundaments course. That alone should give you hope.

YOU WILL MOST DEFINITELY GET A "CHANCE" TO WIN YOUR WH BACK. Read the boards here. It usually happens. Hopefully the principles that you learn here will help facilitate this for you.

Just remember this....FOR THE PRINCIPLES TO WORK..YOU HAVE TO WORK THE PRINCIPLES.

BOL,

Sour...........

Once again, thank you. I have done the exposure and am in plan A, but you are right, he's not 100% commited. and its just so hard. i want to try to work on things for my son's sake

And you most defintely should work on things for your son's sake. This is a devestating event for you any way you slice it. Even if your wayward comes back tonight for good, you and your marriage will forever be changed. You have to work on the things in YOUR LIFE that will make you happy. YOu have to do this no matter what your Wayward decides to do. You don't have any choice in the matter with respect to what he does.

YOu cannot control him..........BUT, you can control YOUR actions to what he does.

The others here can help you much better than I negotiate these waters. Keep your chin up.

You have your health, your child, and a future. As bad as you "think" things are, there is ALWAYS someone off worse. Yes, I know that is little consolation, but it is at least something. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

BOL,

Sour...........

I totally agree with every single thing you just said!!!! Everyday I try a little more to make sure my son and I are taken care of. Its really hard on me with NO support what so ever. And I am so young I just dont know what to do! But thanks for everything and keep the advice coming