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recommend changing the title of your post - which I just did in my response, so that the good doctor doesn't come on, recognize you by the court date he just went through, and try to distort evidence... that way, you don't necessarily have to delete everything. Congrats and kudos for composure in the face of bald-faced lies and self-inflicted damage complaints. Sometimes it can be hard to keep a straight face, right? Have the children been evaluated yet to set appropriate supervised visitation? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
Cafe Plan B link http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2182650&page=1 The ? that made recovery possible: "Which lovebuster do I do the most that hurts the worst"? The statement that signaled my personal recovery and the turning point in our marriage recovery: "I don't need to be married that badly!" If you're interested in saving your relationship, you'll work on it when it's convenient. If you're committed, you'll accept no excuses.
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Mom...I just sent you an email ...
M 30 yrs.
WS 50 (him)
BS 51 (me)
S 30
Granddaughters 5 and 8
DD July 4/03
MO Oct 4/03
NC Feb 14/04
Resumed A with OW March 1/04
Filed Petition for Divorce Jan13/05
How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before He Admits He Is Lost?
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Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 4,199
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I think there's something with the name Ed. Too many of our X's have that name.
See how much stronger you get when your expectations of what will happen (or not happen) in court are lowered.
I've seen so many people become stronger emotionally when these things drag on, and it's usually a good thing for the MBer.
I wish I had seen that episode of Dr. Phil so that I can put a face to a story.
Enjoy your time out. I know I do these days. It's about freedom and confidence and rebuilding yourself.
It was a marriage that never really started.
H: Conflict Avoider, NPD No communication skills (Confirmed by MC) Me: Enabler
Sep'd 12/01, D'd 08/03.
My joys and the light of my life: DD 11, DD 9
*Approach life and situations from the point of love - not from fear.*
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Posts: 267
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I have watched your story and read this post and I am sorry for hurt your husband is causing. He doesn't realize the impact he is having on his children and the relationships he is damaging.
You would think there would come this point that even though he is headed in the wrong direction he would at least have the sense to see the damage he is causing to his kids.
I'll keep you and your family in my prayers.
Art
Romans 7:24 Wretched man that I am! Who will set me free from the body of this death? 25 Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, on the one hand I myself with my mind am serving the law of God, but on the other, with my flesh the law of sin.
Married to my beautiful and gracious wife 26 years
1 son 1 daughter both grown
In SA recovery since July 2003
Christian faith
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"He doesn't realize the impact he is having on his children and the relationships he is damaging. "
Too many people don't realize this fact.
It was a marriage that never really started.
H: Conflict Avoider, NPD No communication skills (Confirmed by MC) Me: Enabler
Sep'd 12/01, D'd 08/03.
My joys and the light of my life: DD 11, DD 9
*Approach life and situations from the point of love - not from fear.*
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"Too many people don't realize this fact."
I know, I didn't realize the impact in the midst of my problem, but when I came face to face with it I knew the damage I was causing. I guess I don't understand how you look at the pain on your spouses face, or the pain on your kids face and think I have a right to do this.
Art
Romans 7:24 Wretched man that I am! Who will set me free from the body of this death? 25 Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, on the one hand I myself with my mind am serving the law of God, but on the other, with my flesh the law of sin.
Married to my beautiful and gracious wife 26 years
1 son 1 daughter both grown
In SA recovery since July 2003
Christian faith
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I am a nervous wreck! I dont know why...last week I was fine...today I have been a nervous wreck all day long!
Sorry it has taken me so long to get back here...I have been having all sorts of issues...phone, cable, phone...ARGH!
I sent my lawyer 35 pages of documentation, that of which I will not say on here, today. I have to be at court by 8:30 tomorrow...At least it is first thing, so i wont be pacing all morning...I just want to get this over with and move on and out.
I'll update ya'll tomorrow1
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Good Luck to you. You are in my prayers.
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Thinking of you today!!
In my very limited experience Judges have seen and heard many different situations and can weed through the doodoo that spews forth to rule fairly. You will be treated fairly, and E. will be mad...but he would be no matter what. His goal in this is to prolong this, to keep the game going, to prolong contact with you. If he can drag out this D he can keep up the excuses for calling you and getting his K. fix fulfilled.
Consider not answering his calls and letting ALL calls from him spill over into voicemail-land.
Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance!
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I look forward to hearing the great resolution today.
Just so you know, I expected to feel elated after court, but I had been through so much, that it was more of a letdown, or I should say a lack of emotion. I was glad to have it done, but so much else was unsettled - like it took 3 more months for him to close on the refi and for me to get my equity.
And the anger is strongest from the X just after they dont' get what they want.
Stay strong
It was a marriage that never really started.
H: Conflict Avoider, NPD No communication skills (Confirmed by MC) Me: Enabler
Sep'd 12/01, D'd 08/03.
My joys and the light of my life: DD 11, DD 9
*Approach life and situations from the point of love - not from fear.*
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I know things are hectic for you, Kandi, but we'd all really like to hear how things went yesterday, whenever you get a chance!
I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to post before the court date, but I hope things went reasonably well for you.
osxgirl (A.K.A. Penguin!)
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