Mortarman, were you still able to find out Chaplain info, for Camp Anaconda 729th TC. WH will be leaving on the 12th and I still would like to contact chaplain regarding WH and the OW to expose A there. I know WH will be furious but Im sure someday he'll realize I did it for us.
His plans are to enlist Active Army and asked what I thought? Im not sure to be honest, I think it would make his temptation more readily accesible? Any suggestions?

ARE U THERE? ANYONE HEARD FROM MORTARMAN?

Hey shouldI - What is going on? I think Mortarman is sleepin right now.

OH OF COURSE! The reason is Mortman was helping me on finding contacts for WH military company (about a month ago, and I havent heard from Mortarman) and I actually have NO DOUBT in contacting CO's for exposure of affair with fellow soldier. One ? I have, should I advise WH of me contacting CO' & chaplain about the affair. WH said he has NO intention of leaving his family and wife should I let him know of what im doing?

I don't think you should warn your WH of anything you are going to do.

Contacting your WH's military company should not be hard - but I'm sure MM will have more info tomorrow.

I'm here! Okay, what route you wanna go? The CO or the IG? Either way is fine. I got the links I needed to get the addresses (even phone numbers). Just need to know which way you wanna go.

And dont tell hubby. Just do it.

In His arms.

THANK YOU MORTARMAN!

Ok, honestly which way is best? WH is actually thinking about going active Army once he returns. Right now, he has been trying to get attatched to a different unit to be away from her (so he says!) but for some reason he was pulled off the list and automatically blamed her. The soldiers that are moved will leave on the 15th and he leaves the 12th so supposedly he says there isnt much time to fight the move and let him go. Will they BOTH be punished and not just him since I have her info also? Would it be best going thru the chaplain first then proceed to higher authorities? Yes, I want the affair exposed to seperate them and they should both be punished for what they are doing. If he decides to pursue active army how would that affect him?

Sorry for all the ?'s but just trying to figure out what would be best.

He's been on leave for these 2 wks and all she does is send him IM's to his Yahoo Messenger, its pissing me off that she wont let him be for at least 2wks!

My advice is to make sure that you want to expose them to the comand. There could be serious consequences and if that is ok with you then go for it. It could ruin his chances for active duty, which would also disrupt pay and medical, etc...

Just make sure that whatever happens to them you are prepared for if it will affect you and your personal well being in any way.

Have you talked to her?? I would tell her straight up that I was going to contact her command if she did not back off your husband.

I'm sorry I don't know your whole story so all this advice might be pointless. You might be at a place where you absolutely want everything exposed no matter what the consequences.

I wish you all the best!

Lost in the City,

WH has made it clear his intentions were never to leave me b/c the reality there will be no one he can find that would put up with his mexican machismo, etc. plus being mother of his children. He says he has never stopped loving me but that she was just a fling that went too far, now she wants him to leave his family, something he said he wont consider. If she wanted to be on the side then thats on her! (I couldnt believe he told me that!) Anyways,

He wants to relocate after his delpoyment and get out of this state knowing all his family is here, he says that it would be best for us our marriage. Or, go active duty, he loves the military and wasnt surprised about him wanting to return.

If I contact OW about the A, I dont think I can do that, she has tried to turn my WH on me with stuff like that, so I think that would be worse than better.

If I confront WH and say look you want me and our family/marriage, then I'll give you time to end your A or I will contact CO's or IG?

He has 5 months or less in Iraq and Im not sure if I should let the A go on for those months and let it die by itself knowing/hoping it will once he returns or proceed with exposure to the military?

Okay, if he is a true soldier and he belongs in my Army, then he will do the honorable thing. he must be the one to go to his first sergeant and tell him what has happened and ask Top to get him away from her.

First off, if it is him that goes to the command, then they will be easy on him. They will probably just separate him and her and order them to stay away from each other.

But if she gets POed and she starts running her mouth...or the IG gets involved, then both of them will probably get sanctions and his active duty stint may be in jeopardy.

I dont want dishonorable soldiers in my Army. They get people killed. If your husband is a man, an honorable man, then you sit him down and present this to him. Tell him all that I have told you and tell him he has to go to the first sergeant as soon as he returns. That you want the 1SG to call you or contact you to confirm that he did in fact do this. And he is to ask the 1SG to make sure that he separates the two of them.

If he is a man of honor, he will do this. It will be a huge step towards making amends for what he has done. What he has done to you and your family. And what he has done to my Army.

If not...if he wont do that...then I will give you a number to the IG and you can make it all happen anyway. of course,, if they have to discover it rather than him owning up to it by going to them first, then things wont go good for him.

Sit him down now and explain all of this. his career is on the line...his marriage is on the line. The Lord is giving him one way out. I hope he cooses to do it.

In His arms.

ShouldI - Is your husband in the Reserves? Is OW also in the Reserves in the same unit? So they will deploy together to Iraq??? When? Also curious about the 5 months or less deployment. They are usually 6 months or a year.

This advice might go against MB rules but if I were you I would tell my husband if he did not stop all contact with OW I was going to contact his command. I would also tell OW the same thing. If either one of them gives you a hard time or does not stop the A I would go and talk to the CO. The CO is only a human being and hopefully someone with a heart. You can tell him what is going on, possibly asking if they can be separated. One of them not deploy or whatever. Are your husband and OW the same rank? That could also come into play.

Exposure in the military could be a touchy subject depending on what the CO wants to do. If that military pay is a part of your income and your medical benefits you do not want to lose that.

I would not let my husband be deployed knowing that he was going to have an A while he was gone and hope that he was going to return to our family. It needs to be stopped before the deployment.

I was typing at the same time as you MM. Good advice. If WH will own up to his mistake then life will be easier on him.

I'm still confused...ShouldI...is your WH in Iraq now or getting ready to go???

Lost in the City,

WH and OW started the A two days before deployment (yes Army reserves) in Sept of 04. Supposed to be a one night stand and then she requested deployment to the detached unit and was sent out with the unit in Dec 04. The A was discovered in April of 05, OW sent me an IM confirming the A.
He is still currently deployed in Iraq with OW, he is a Sgt,NCO and she is a specialist i believe. He is currently in his 2 wk leave as we speak, leaving on the 12th, Unit has no job as of now and thats why a few were being attatched to other working units in the area. He requested to be moved also but was denied the move. So, if the unit has no work they may be sent back home sooner, due date of 12 mos on foot will be Dec 05.
I will talk to him about this because frankly its got to stop , if he does love me and wants to do right then , he will man up to his actions.

Any ideas, I havent talked to WH, right now we are fixing our house gtting it ready to sell for dec

ShouldI,

I gave you an outline above. You have to have that talk with him. He must go to his command, in order to stop OW and in order to protect himself and you. And his career. Anything short of that, and he is playing with fire.

If he does the things I outlined, there will be little trouble for him...and you two can begin again. If he doesnt, then I will connect you with the right people and you will do it for him.

So, plan that talk for tonight or tomorrow. Dont make it for the last day before he leaves. You two need time to talk it thru.\

In His arms.

Now, that sounds like a plan. I will make it tomorrow. WH has plans to take me out dancing tonight and even set up babysitters! WOW, he says I deserve that and more. Hopefully in his mind things are coming together.
Our DS 5 is currently in IC and we were told he is going thru a deep depression b/c of WH's absence. Since he's been here he has attended our sons counseling sessions and has talked to the Phyciatrist about us and the kids, it looks like having him to commit to MC wont be much of a problem or being able to communicate with me.
I will have that discussion with him tomorrow. I will let you guys know how it turns out.

THANK YOU!