I need to talk to someone bad. I need to know if there is anyone here is who has been through 2 DDAYS.

I jsut found out last night that my darling [censored] H has another C <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />. What the **** <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> I just DO NOT kow what to do.

Part of me wants to stay part of me wants to leave. I feel like I am losing my mind. The sad part about this I am not as upset as I thought i would be Y <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> for some reason I do not seemed shocked that his has told me this. I have been having dreams lately of him tellin m ethis.

I am jo so confused HELP ME

SOMEONE HELP ME

I sent you my cell # Aut. You are not alone in this. Your feelings are valid. I won't judge (having btdt), I'll listen and give you a shoulder....DO NOTHING RIGHT NOW...MAKE NO HUGE DECISIONS TILL YOU CAN GAIN YOUR FOOTING. That is my biggest advice right now. People are gonna want you to make choices, him, your friends and family...OW...everyone...and you MUST be able to do what is best for you...and you can't do that knee-jerk style.

Call me...I am here.

- Kimmy

Thank you sooo much. Your help is soo appreciated. YOu are right I dont even WANT to hear what people have to say, KWIM. Especially my H family.

I feel like i look liek such a fool, like such a idot if i stay. How do I konw he wont do this AGAIN to me. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> Trust is defeneitly somethign he has to earn again.

>I feel like i look liek such a fool, like such a idot if i stay

Is that YOU talking or what you think others will say? And do you REALLY care what they say?

That is what im thinking right now. I am sure that is what people are going to say.

I say i dont care what people think but its hard REAL HARD

>I say i dont care what people think but its hard REAL HARD

YEah. Me too. But if you carry yourself with grace and dignity, what they say tends to slide off a lot easier. Just try to remember to never burn a bridge...others do that for themselves with their words and actions.

Read your email. Just mailed you back.

You are not alone! My H has had 3 A's and an OC. We are just now getting our M back to a place that I feel loved and safe with him. Take Delean's advice and wait until your head clears.

Is the A over? How old is the OC? Ok, I see you both have children and M'd 5 years. Sorry had to read your profile.

Good Morning

How are you guys today? Ijust want to THANK K(de)

Thanks to K I am fine, I am really ok!!! Things today defineitely DO NOT feel as bad as yesterday. I just cant wait to feel normal, which may never happen. I am just tryin to look past the fact that he had another child. This child is here now and there is nothing I mean NOTHING that can be done about that. All that can be done is either I live with it or I dont!!!
That is the way I have to look at things right now, either I accept it and try to move on or I dont accept it and move on by myself.

TAlking to K yesterday made a WORLD of difference made me feel so SOOOO much better. K made me see and realize that a man can **** up more than once and you can still make your marriage work.


THANK YOU>

THANK EVERYONE FOR ALL THEIR HELP

>normal

Define normal? Cause life is about change...no matter the circumstances, life never has a status quo. Unfortunately, sometimes the circumstances suck way harder than others...and sometimes, the circumstances, while being the hardest thing you've ever walked through and been able to keep breathing, bring the most amazing blessings.

- Kimmy

Kimmy

Thank you, and you are so right. I hate to say it but out of this there has got to be a blessing for me, I just dont what it will be yet. I am a patient woman, I can wait. Just need to keep trusting in the lord.

I cant define normal, because i dont think i have ever TRULY been normal(ROFL):) but normal would have to be something like just getting back to your everyday life i feel like things are on hold right now because I am so confused. KWIM

The minimum you will be blessed with out of this is knowing that through it all you are able to walk through fire with grace.

Never allow THEM to let you loose your dignity.

Will I be able to walk through the fire and make it, can I make it to the other side to my H again?

Who is THEM? I know see that I have to be the only woman I can be which is mature and to hate those kids, to embrace those kids like they are my own. Those children did not ask to be here.

THEM is ANY who would drag you down. They can be in your head telling you you're not worthy, or they can be unsupportive people who haven't walked a mile in your flip flops or they can be OW and WH who only saw their own selfishness, and never thought of the bigger picture because of their greed.

- Kimmy

WG, Kimmy is one of the rare people who have walked in your shoes and has done so with grace and dignity. You will come through this no matter if you stay M'd or not. You will.

t/j Kimmy, did you see the pics of the bubs in Idiotville?

YOu guys are right. And the people that wold try to tear me down that are people that tell me i should leave, IF i decide not too, and the OW by saying crazy [censored]. My H now says he sees the light and that he is sorry for is selfishness and he has hurt to many people in the process, meaning me and now 2 kids. He does not want to do that again. He also says that right now he is not happy with himself, he does not feel good about himself and truthfully he should but part of me says that, that is kind of how I know he could be truthfully sorry. Because he is actually hurt and remorseful for the whole situation. He says he wish it never happened BUT it did and now we have to move on together or not. I have to keep telling myself that is the past I can NOT change what happened it has already happended and look at the reprocussions(sp)

>grace and dignity.

(and a little pi$$ing and moaning - but don't tell, it's a secret)

And always remember this is not your Karmic screw up...if you choose contact, you get the fun stuff...you ENJOY yourself and the love will come. But always, ALWAYS protect YOU. Even those that are SUPPOSED to protect us cannot be counted on. So count on God first, yourself second and everything else will fall into place.