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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 21
Junior Member
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 21 |
Is there a way to do Plan A without smothering the WS? Or am I completly misunderstanding what I need to do?
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Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 224
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Member
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 224 |
World, you may want to post over on General Questions II, which seems to get more readership. The folks over there will tell you that Plan A is not at all about smothering WS, but rather, addressing your needs and taking care of yourself so you become an attractive alternative to the A. Best wishes. Stung
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 3,634
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Member
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 3,634 |
Well, Let's give it a shot ...what are you doing?
Let me know what your interpretation of Plan A is.
Way back in the dark ages when I joined MB it was much easier. You discovered the A and posted in JFO.
Plan A and Plan B were full of GREAT information..and then you "graduated into recovery". Seems like folks are all over the board and that gets too confusing.
So, let's start a new movement and see if we can get back to the old ways. I see if I can roust out some more of the oldtimers to join me here and see if we can help some folks.
In the meantime, let me know what's going on with YOUR plan A.
T
Who am I to offer or deny forgiveness? Shall I reach for the first stone? The Lord made a precondition for that priority that has long since disqualified me.
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 21
Junior Member
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 21 |
My plan A has been this: There has been exposure to close friends and our children (not by my choice but it happened). I am trying to do everything (domestically) that I feel I have not been doing. I am trying to meet WW needs for affection that I have slacked off on recently. I am trying to get myself in better shape, physically & mentally. At first I was making plans to do things with the kids (which I was doing before the A) and leaving an open invitation for WW to join … now she is part of the planning and I find her and I getting some much needed ‘together time’ just her and I. I have made it clear to her that I expect NC, she agrees with me (there are some issues here concerning work but we are working on boundaries).
My problem with plan A is that I am a groveling, needy person and come off like I’m smothering WW, I am working on that. I know that my plan A is not correct, I don’t understand what plan A really is. Maybe I’m past plan A at this point.
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 3,634
Member
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Member
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 3,634 |
Honey, if you think about it...a good marriage is never past a good plan A....it's simply treating each other with respect, avoiding Love Busters, and meeting ech others Emotional Needs.
Look over the articles posted here on Love Busters and emotional Needs..see which ones you are weakest in..and work on them.
Gotta run, but I'll check in tonight.
T
Who am I to offer or deny forgiveness? Shall I reach for the first stone? The Lord made a precondition for that priority that has long since disqualified me.
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