I was unable to reply to your posts for some odd reason. I'll see what happens at home. Green Gables..you remembered me..I am so angry right now I could spit nails.. I paid the retainer today.. Scanned and pdf'ed the love letters from the convicts and the Sperm donor to the Attorney. Realized last night she sanitized the house..meaning either she was looking of rthe letters I aready have and or making sure I did not find any more things that could go against her in a Jury trial.. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

I know she must have been planning this for some time as my mistake was letting her know back late 2003 early 2004 that if I found anything else we were done. I still refuse to talk to her. Have spoken to my daughter. she is confused but tells me she loves me.. Her mother is telling her that she does not have a choice on whom to live with.. Last week I told her that the choice is up to her and that I wanted her to know if she wants to stay with her mother it will not change they way I feel about her one bit. I reminded her that i was willing to accept her descsion, but that if her mother will not let her decide then I will be forced to have my representatives try to get her home.

Any reason I cannot post a reply on my original topic..?

Anyway..All of you thank you so much..so so very much for your concerns and replies..not to mention all of the support I gained by reading all of your different experieinces over the years. I would like to send just one of the notes to you all to see so you can please tell me I was not a chump for trying to keep the marriage together. I know I am not a loser..but I sure feel that way right now.. The roller coaster of depression then anger..and the dreams..oh my god the dreams they are horrible.. Dreams of my STBX flat out telling me that she is going to have sex with a bunch of faceless men in a room we are in in the dream..
Also how do I send my E-mail to a poster without leaving it broadcast for everyone?
Thanks
HumbleOne

I don't really know how else to get your email address. At first, I think you could private message people on the boards, but they disabled that function along with being able to view with other members were reading.

Most people post their email small and then promptly delete it.

Yikes...sorry.

Good thing you got out what you did!

Sorry your STBX is not seeing what she is doing to your daughter!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

Like GG said, the intant here was to keep things semi-anonymous and safe... so emails are only shared if you chose to. I have been here for a couple of years without incident so I am not too concerned about sharing mine either, but there are those who are leary, and rightfully so.

bumping for monday

Hi GG. Hope your on. I am working late to catch up. I am not doing so well.. I cannot seem to shake this overwhelming feeling and depression.

Well I am back..it is Monday and my weekend sucked except that I got to help my cousing with her new house. She has not mower or any gardening tools and her place really needed it. I over exerted myself a bit and almost went to the hospital because my BP was high. She is a nurse so I felt safe being there.
I am going to see family in Washington next week and that will be a great diversion from all this crud. My younger brother has play that has been working its away around the BIG cities for a year now. Two of the characters are loosley based on me which is kinda funny. At lease I know my 15yo will get a kick out of it.

Still have not talked to the STBX. Don't and cannot handle letting her manuipulate me anymore. I have nothing left to give. I sent her the other cell phone as the cell plan was in her name anyway. Hope she gives it to my 14yo. I got me and my son new ones. He is doing pretty good but also having troouble sleeping. From the things his mother said and what he knows from our history it is hard from keeping him from calling his mother a whore and other nbasty things, I simply repeatedly tell him I do not want to hear him talk about his mother that way ..ever.. even if that is how he feels.

I know my daughter wants to come home. Looks as if I am going to have to shell out a bunch of $ to serve her in LA. Her saying that she had a lawyer was just more lies else I would have been served already. Heck it has been the 24th of last mointh she told me she filed. My attorney said if she did file then an sherrif would have already been to m to the house. I figure she knew me well enough to know that this was the last straw in her long line of deceptions.

Will I EVER be able to trust again? Am I just a gullible fool whom took and overlooked all these things just because I was afraisd of divorce and what imact it would have on my children. Welll she left I did not give up..

It drove me insane the last couple of weeks when she left messages that said Jope you guys have a nice weekend and I love you.. Love me? the son maybe. or maybe she said it oout of habit. I get angry knowing that all of those i love yous meant as Chris Farley Said "jack Squat" if she had her way I'd be living in a van down by the river!

Help keeping me from calling her. I am weak..she has played me like a puppet for so long I don't know what to do. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

HO, what do you want to say to her when you call her? Just write it all down and post it here. LOL. You'll get it out of your system.

Of course you'll be able to trust again. You know not all women are like that. Will you give someone else as many chances? Probably not. However, that's not being cynical or suspicious. That's learning from your mistakes.

Chin up. You may be better off filing in your state anyway. Can you claim abandonment?