I've been married for only 1yr and a half. My husband had an affair and a child will be born in September. We have been separated for 6 months now. Next week we will officially be divorced. However, we want to end that part of our lives and work things out. Is it possible to work this out with a child and another woman. I know that she will not let us work things out smoothly. She is VERY irrational. Help? I love my husband very much and would like to work it out! What do I do?

Frankly, given what you've said---I would continue the divorce. You haven't been together long enough to build a huge history together, your husband was cheating on you less than a year into your marriage, and you will be financially responsible for this child should you stay married. Assuming that you have no children together, I'd tell you to walk away---and take a year off of "men" to recover.

There are marriages that do work out under these circumstances. Sadly, mine doesn't seem to be one of them. It is a matter of what you think you can live w/ and how much H is trying to make things up to you.

Hi there,

Well u have come to the right site to get advice. I think the possibility of making a marriage work after an affair and oc depends on the two people involved. If you are both commited to making it work and healing, then it will work, even though you will learn, it takes a lot of time and effort. There is an oc and I just had my first son 5 weeks ago, and it isn't easy. Dealing with an OW, all seem to be irrational, is pretty difficult for the first little while. Because you realize that she kind of has a "link" to your H due to oc. It tears you apart inside and makes you want to scream. But if you are willing to make things work, they will =o)
meganluvsmike2002@yahoo.com if you want to email!
take care and best of luck!

i am in a similar situation. my husband of three years had an affair/still possibly having an affair with a woman who is young and naive. she has carried two children that she says are his to term. he says that it was just something he was doing and it did not mean anything and he won;t have a dna test ran to prove paternity right now. he wants to wait until he has enough money. i am employed and he is not what should i do? my heart says go but my mind says stay and work at it

First off, I'm really sorry your life has taken this turn. As someone that has been that close to the D door, I will give you this advise. First if you have children, I would go ahead w/ the D and get your C/S set up and get your child covered. If not depending on if everything is cut and dry then I might even would go ahead w/ the D anyway. (not good advice for MB huh) But wait I'm gettinf there. Depending on where you are in the finding our process or where he is in the "fog" or what ever they are in, then it may be the way to go. Forgive me for being blunt. Protect you and your feelings and your children. Its all about the kids to me and she is going to go to great lenghts to protect hers, you need to do the same.
If you stay, and you both are in aggrement to work on your m, then dig in and read everything here. You will go though days where its not worth it and go though days where, you couldn't live w/o it.
Legally, I will tell you, you need to NOT talk to her. Resist the urges to pick up the phone and just go slap off. DON"T. Breathe, exercise, do some walking, think before you say. Don't do/say/write anything that will come back and haunt you. Trust me if you do, it will.
Start w/ the WHY's of the A. What is your M lacking? Then start with the complete honesty and then to the POJA. I will try and find the welcome thread and they have all of this on there. But you can find it at the home site of this web site.
As far as the OC, not much time, it will be here soon and how are you feeling about helping raise someone elses child? I do have C, not many here do and what you and your H will have to talk and agree on what is best for your M. Hugs to you darlin and I'm glad you found this site. There are some great ladies here and keep posting.
Sunny D