Hello all,
Well, we are planning on celebrating our 14th anniversary this weekend, and most of the week I have been feeling different about it. How does one get past the feelings of indifference? I want it to be a special weekend, I really do, but, I am afraid I might LB or something.

Melody, if by chance you read this, I saw your post to Patriot, and something you said to him about the 8 month mark. I am a 7 mos and was wondering what it was that clicked for you that got you over the hump,(so to speak).
I hear this is an anger phase. I haven't really been angery, just, I don't know, cautious, wondering if I am a "chump" I quess. I just saw something in your post that made me curious. I did not want to TJ Pats post, as it is a special post that deserves something more than I have to offer. Your great wisdom would be appreciated.


Any help on the anniversary weekend would be great. I am excited, but at the same time, scared.

Hurt, nothing really clicked with me at once, but it seems that all my anger culminated around that time. The shock and daze wore off and I just felt FURY that he could do this to me. I think it was the first time I felt the FULL FORCE of my anger if that makes any sense. That was very therapuetic for me because after that, the anger seemed to taper off. I thought about it less and less. And after awhile I just got tired of it and moved forward.

I have noticed this phase in many others on this board over the years. Usually what happens is a BS who seems well on his way to recovery will suddenly up and tell us he is thinking it is hopeless and he wants out of the marriage! Nine times out of ten it turns out that he/she is at that critical 8-12 month mark. I always tell them to just hold tight, that this will likely pass and it always does. It may not happen to you, hnh, but if it does, just know it is a normal part of recovery.

And as far as feeling different this weekend, you would be abnormal if you didn't. Your whole life has changed as a result of this affair, so that is perfectly normal.

Happy Anniversary! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Thanks Melody(again)

We are going to a hotel on a lake, lakeview room, dinner at a sudo-upscale restraunt. I got her some saphire shields w/ diamond studs. Had them for awhile, was going to be a christmas gift but with the A and all, didn't know where we were going. And just some us time. Hope this sounds ok. Took some planning, but, fun. I was not born with a romantic mind. I do what I can, but, a little is better than nothing.

wish me luck.

That sounds wonderful! Have a great time! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />