I have been keeping up with your posts. I think you and your son need to get out of there. Your H has no desire to stop what he is doing and doesn't sound like he is going to stop what he is doing. I do not know a lot about plan a and plan b as I did not have to stop an affair, it was already done. I am doing plan a stuff as far as working on being the best I can be and on meeting H's EN's and actually, first off, not LBing. Your H is breaking the boundary on a daily basis. I believe your next step is Plan B. You and son leave him high and dry and he decides either you or other woman. Now, if he decides you after you leave I would not go back until you are 100% there is no more contact with OW and he agrees to councilling. I wouldn't even move back in until there has been some MC sessions under your belts.
You are walking on eggshells. You are afraid to confront him because you are afraid of him. You cannot live like this. You have no job, no car, no out. He has you under complete control. You are not bound to be there right now, can you not contact your family and have them come and get you? I see you shut up in your house day in day out and you are going to end up a big depressed mess. I know you love your H and want to save your marriage. I love my H too and want to save mine. But you cannot control your H's decisions anymore than I can control mine. The reality is this marriage may not be healthy and may not work out. Mine may not work out. We don't know. But you are going to be happier, healthier and better prepared for life when you make healthy changes for you and be the best you can be. You are only 23 and have so much life ahead of you. Get out of there, get some family or friends help. I would get into some IC if you can, it will help you to stay strong through this. Keep posting here. You need to look out for you and your son. You should not have to lock yourself in your room when H is home.
I remember how hard it was to be 23. To be that young. And I didn't even have children yet and was not married yet. But you can do this. Make the call to your family or some close friends. Your H has you right where he wants you. He said he wanted you to come home and everything would be better. I think he wanted you home so he could hurt you with what he is doing. Revenge for what you did or whatever. If that is what he is doing he needs serious help. You need to grab the reigns by getting out and letting him know by your actions this is not ok with you. He is treating you the way you are allowing him to treat you. You set the boundaries, he breaks them, and yet you still stay. You are saying essentially, ok, you broke the boundary this time but don't do it again.And he laughs in your face.
I am just trying to be brutally honesty sweetie. I am 34 and I feel older and wiser than when I was 24 and trying to deal with this. You are just starting out and having to deal with big stuff. Think it over but I am concerned you are going straight down hill into some very rough and depressing times if you don't take charge, lay down the law, by leaving and letting him see it's you or her and not both.
We are here for you. mlhb
