timn, it sounds like you're starting to find yourself. Has this been part of a Plan A? It would seem like your W would appreciate the changes that you've made.

More Adventure!

timn - The loneliness disappears as you get used to it. I was extremely lonely at first. I made myself do things. Now there are days when I WANT to be alone.

And grapegirl - You hit the nail on the head....Adventure. Before D-day my days were all the same, and I was in a rut. Now everyday has exciting possibilities.

Been going out with friends as of late and I went whitewater rafting yesterday - it was AWESOME! Been reading my Bible and hanging out with friends; can't forget to be HAPPY ladies! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

boy can i write a book on this one...lol <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

after d-day i completely broke down...i still have huge gaps of time missing. total break with reality... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />. then the aggoraphobia set in...i spent about three years suffering in silence with that. it was horrible....and no one understands....docs even have a hard time with it. i finally found a doc who put me on imipramine. it was amazing....i was alive again, for the first time in years i wasnt paralyzed with fear.

i am living my dreams now, i own my own horse and am training him and living a dream i've had all my life. i get up early everyday excited and anxious to get out and go to the farm. i am almost never home anymore.....hubby told doc no more increases in dosage....he's afraid he's gonna come home and find a note i've gone across the country!! lol <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

please dont let it grab you like i did...get the help and keep going....and find something that makes you excited to be alive again. i found it in a 2 1/2 yr old named ARGENTO!

Hey grapegirl,
My WW is still pursuing the divorce. She is continuing her online affair. I have pretty much given up just because of the emotional strain it has caused on me, my family, and my friends. I still maintain a Plan A, sort of, and try to be confident and upbeat around her. Actually if things did work out and she came back to me I don't know how my family/friends would look at her because of the selfishness that she has demonstrated.

Lately I've been angry and depressed, which can be expected. However, when I get into a bad state I just think about the future, what I want to do with MY life, and it really gives me hope and peace. I've been thinking about changing careers for awhile. Before this wouldn't have been possible in our marital situation. However now that she is gone I can pursue those dreams.

I'm thankful that I have no kids and have just been married for 3 years. I still remember what it feels like to be single (good and bad) so its not completely foreign to me. I do believe this experience has been positive in helping me realize what I need to bring to a relationship. Whoever is with me next will be able to benefit from all the work and learning that I have developed from this experience.

I've always felt that a day when you learned something was a day not wasted. One of the best things about MB is not only is there an alternative to divorce but part of that path is self-improvement. Instead of just saying "it didn't work, let's divorce", we think about the dynamics of the relationship. What we want. What we've done. What we need. In affect, that affair-proofs us.

Hang in there. You haven't been at it long. (At least from your registration date.) Things get better even if it doesn't work out with your WS.