Alright! CG is on the case!

From the BBB page.

Additional Phone Numbers
***edited***

Additional Fax Numbers
***edited***

CG,

You are in the St. Pete area?

YEAH I LIVE IN ST. PETE. I WORKED FOR MIC FROM JAN 2003-MAY 2004. I STILL HAVE TONS OF FRIENDS THERE THAT COULD HELP. PLUS I KNOW THE OWNER BILL EDWARDS DOES NOT GO FOR STUFF LIKE THIS IN THE COMPANY! HE IS BIG ON NO FRATENIZING (SP?) SO I THINK EXPOSING WOULD END THE AFFAIR FAST!!!!!!!
ONE OF THEM IF NOT BOTH WILL DEFINETLY BE FIRED.

NavyRed,

Is his son in college already (at RIT)? Also named Adam?

Was this guy ever in the Marines?

http://www.military.com/Military/Locator/New/Missing_Buddies/Detail/1,12008,124341,00.html

cancergirl,

Do you have any access to home phone lists - that sort of thing?

-AD

The NC DOT has a way of asking for info related to a license plate, but you have to have a good reason.

See reason #3 and #8

3. For use in the normal course of business by a legitimate business, but only:
a. To verify accuracy of personal information
b. To obtain correct information, but only for purposes of:
· Preventing fraud by the individual
· Pursuing legal remedies against the individual
· Recovering on a debt or security interest against the individual

8. For use by private investigators or licensed security service



The fee is $1.

-AD

By now, I'm guessing he lives closer in to Raleigh, but is unlisted.

Going to bed.

NavyRed,

Email me and I'll send you a bunch of stuff that I looked up - probably not him, but you might as well have it. I don't want to post it here, because probably everybody I found is innocent.

-AD

He was born in '72

I can't thank you enough guys and gals, I wouldn't know which one to pick, as far as him being nice he's a salesman and he works on the phone. I guarentee as soon as you bring up the A the whole conversation would change.

That sounds like him, but you almost scare me into thinking your my wife with your screen name.

In case you're not though he is working in the St Pete location at the moment and works out of the NC spot normally. He is a big wig and he drives a Mecedes. He just bought my wife a $2000 computer out of the blue.

Yes he was in the Marines

That link tok me straight to military.com. I have to go to work, but I'll be home around 2 or so today. Thank you so much for all the work you guys did.

CG
I haven't really figured out if I'll do the work thing or not, but I have tons of emails and phone records for proof of the A

Whatever you need me to do. I can probably get some info from my girlfriend. She is a manager at the office where I used to work.

He needs his home number and address. Any way you could get that? Or even the town where he lives would be helpful.

Navy Red man:

This OM is the malignant type. As I said there was only a 1 in 10 chance the OM had a vestige of integrity--------- he does not------ I am not surprised. OM likely has traits of antisocial personality and cunning type behavior. The Europeans described it as follows:

F60.2 Dissocial (Antisocial) Personality Disorder

Personality disorder, usually coming to attention because of a gross disparity between behaviour and the prevailing social norms, and characterized by at least 3 of the following:

(a) callous unconcern for the feelings of others;
(b) gross and persistent attitude of irresponsibility and disregard for social norms, rules and obligations;
(c) incapacity to maintain enduring relationships, though having no difficulty in establishing them;
(d) very low tolerance to frustration and a low threshold for discharge of aggression, including violence;
(e) incapacity to experience guilt and to profit from experience, particularly punishment;
(f) marked proneness to blame others, or to offer plausible rationalizations, for the behaviour that has brought the patient into conflict with society.


Your description of OM and that of others who apparently know him is in agreement with some of the above traits. Unfortunately your wife will not be able to recognize these flaws. In addition OM has more money than you. Subconsciously women are attracted to powerful men and money is power. I suspect that with exposure OM will dump your wife and not the other way around. It seems your wife is behaving like someone having an exit affair. These are the worst kind. Best scenario would be a cake-eating affair.

I suggest you find that laptop and destroy it. Let OM sue you for it. It will feel good to break it into pieces.

You have to expose to OM's wife------- this is the key. OM is likely cake eating and he will stop the affair with exposure.

Good Morning, NavyRed,

Yeah, I know. It's like afternoon to you. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I've been thinking about you.

First: Don't let your wife know what you are doing. Don't give her any warning that you are trying to find the man's wife. Don't give her any advance notice of things you are going to do. Do not threaten to take action. Simply take action when you are ready. Threatening her just gives her a chance to take a defensive posture to protect the affair.

Second: This is a marathon. It's going to take a couple of years to really be over this. Pace yourself. Be resolute. Don't let things slide. Keep on being the best dad you can be.

Third: This guy is probably a player. Your wife is not his first A, nor perhaps even the only girl he's got on the side right now. When she figures out that she is just being used, she is going to hate him. That's good for you. Make sure you are ready to be there for her when she gets to that point. Unless your wife has been doing this before (which she may very well have done from your description of her nights on the town), you have a good chance of a long-term recovery. You've got to get a different work situation - even if you have to sell things or move. Do whatever you have to do to arrange your life so that you can spend time with your wife. You cannot recover without that. Figure it out. Start looking. Start thinking about how you can rearrange your life to spend more time with you wife. You may have to give up some things - maybe trade down your cars - maybe move to less expensive place - but you've got to find a job where you can be alone with your wife at least 15 hours a week.

Dealing with Gifts from OM.
One thing you are going to need to do. Your wife is going to be very angry, but you need to do it anyway. You need to take that notebook computer that she got from the guy - just take it and give it to somebody for safekeeping - somebody that will never give it to your wife - and you never tell her who has it. Don't tell her anything about it at all! Let her ask you - but give no reply. Let her guess whether you sold it, smashed it, or hid it. Can you do that? Will you break down and give it back to her when she spits venom at you? She will call you a thief. She will say that it's company property. She will threaten to call the cops etc. etc. She will do all that, but you've got to hang firm and never give it back to her.

Don't destroy it. Don't sell it. Eventually, you are going to have to get the hard drive copied by somebody who knows how to do that - and then collect whatever info you can from it. After that, you should send it to the other man's (OM's) wife. After you connect with her, you can ship it to her by name with a "hold for pickup" order by FedEx or UPS. You will eventually find out who she is and make contact with her. When you do, tell her about the computer and offer to send it to her. She also may be weak and give it back to him. So, you need to get the serial number, take photos, copy the hard drive (as I mentioned above). You may have to get help to do that if you're not into the hardware. If it's passworded, probably the files are not encrypted and all that will have to be done is remove the hard drive and attach it to another computer. It's pretty easy. A smart guy probably won't even have to do that - but actually, it's the cleanest way because it doesn't change anything on the hard drive and allows a complete accurate copy to made.

I honestly think OM's wife will take you more seriously if you send her the computer.

If there are any other gifts from OM, you need to take possetion of them and secure them - and eventually do the same with them. They were bought with misdirected marital assets. OM's wife can make good use of them in bringing pressure on him.

Money
You say you have no money - gotta buy uniforms etc. Man, you are about to lose your family! Are the uniforms more important than that? How are your kids going to get everything they need after the family splits? Spend your money on the most important things right now. Was that your camper you were living in? If so, sell it. You won't need it. Can you borrow from your folks? Can you trade down your car? Can you trade down your wife's car? Do it! Do you have a piano, a boat, jet-ski, motorcycle, a nice bicycle, anything you can sell to get money to fight this?

After you make contact with OM's wife, if all goes well, she can hire a PI. She has access to money - and it is wonderful irony that money he "earned" will be used to catch him.

Action
When your wife sees you taking action, in spite of being angry about the particular actions, she will start to respect you more. She will see you fighting for your family and that will begin to mean something to her. A big problem for you right now is that your wife does not respect you. Stand up and show her that you are the man!

Security of Evidence
You need to make sure that these emails and other evidence you have are secure. It happens over and over again that the evidence is destroyed. You need to print them, give them to a friend to keep for you, make several copies. Store them in several places - outside the home - and where she will not expect them to be. Don't tell her that you have done this. (You can tell all later after you marriage is patched back together).

That's all for now.

-AD

She said he's quitting his job, this is the second time she told me this so I don't believe it, but yea like they said home phone or address would be great.

AD you are AWESOME!!! thanks for all your help.

Here's the email my wife sent me today:

"Well ********, you have gotten what you wanted. I told Adam to leave and not contact me in any way. Do you believe me? Probable not. You want to have proof. I don't have any proof to give you other than that he told me he is quitting at work. I can let you know when that happens and if you want to have conformation, I can have Joe call you too. I have done this for the kids and for the kids only. I know that I have been selfish lately, but I have never, ever neglected or abandoned the kids. If you think that this means that we can get back together, you though wrong. I want nothing to do with you. If you can't deal with that, let me know and I will leave. I plan to stay married to you for the kids. Don't keep telling me that this is all my fault because it isn't. There is blame on both sides. I will be nice to you because I do care about you and I do love the person you were and because it is what the kids need. If later on I want to work on our marriage, I will let you know. Don't ask me any questions about anything that has happened recently and in the past, cause you won't get an answer. You are getting your fair chance."

I don't believe it for a second, this is the second time I heard this

My friend said that Adam (if its the same one) is going to be going to phoenix office in 2 weeks. When the senior managers leave today she will try to get that info. She is not sure if the "big-wigs" have to provide that. She is also going to see if its the same guy ok!!!! So hopefully by 6pm we will know something?